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Panic Disorders/Attacks/dying to live living to die


Dear Carolina
I have suffered panic disorder Phobias Agoraphobia and PTSD since I was 21 year old, I am now 60 My life has been full of fear and I had phobias of injections ,(not blood taking just fluids entering my body), I had/have irrational fear of death ,the dying moments,! and I am so scared of dying I am to afraid to live, The last episode of balance problems that so far doctors have found no answer for has sensitised me and I am so terrified there is something seriously wrong with me an that maybe I am dying. Getting old is killing me, smiling timidly, I am so afraid of the dyeing moment that it has become more then fear but absolute horror. I cannot get on with life with this fear hanging over my head, Psychologists cannot help me, They do not understand how deep this fear is and I cannot take their Meds as I am phobic of them too, Hospitals are another phobia of mine as too White coat syndrome, Please can you advice me how to lose this terrible fear of death
Thank you Rosemary

Hi Rosemary,
Funny that you should write me and ask me this question right now as I spent the day at my Father-in-laws funeral. He was a minister for over 45 years and he was one of the most fearful people to die.
Listen to me this way,,,,,,
I am 62 years old now and, yes, it crosses your mind that time is gonna go fast and you may die in your 80's or so.... It also crosses your mind about who is going to care for you when you are older, bla, bla, bla
Here is what I have come up with besides the fact that partially, you answered your own question. You said,...  I am so scared of dying I am to afraid to live
You are right on the nail.....
I am assuming that you have had panic attacks since you were 21 years old and you never took any medicines for it???
It appears to me that, you have had the panic attacks and, because they were not treated OR, treated properly, that.... you developed Phobia's because of it...
I know because, we are the same age and I know exactly how it felt to have panic attacks back when we were young and, the doctors did not know NOTHING about them....
You HAVE to look at medicines this way.....
Technology has came a LONG way since we were young. They know about panic attacks, agoraphobia and a ton of other conditions that they did not know about when we were young.
They can also give you something that will take care of a Bunch of those symptoms and get you out of part of the hell you are living in BUT.... You HAVE to allow the doctor to do it. I take medicine and believe me Rosemary, there was NOBODY more afraid to get on medicine than I was. I refused MANY times before I finally found myself bound to the inside of my house for a year and a half without being able to even go out of the front door. It was a nightmare and I watched everyone else living there lives and... there I was....
As far as balance problems.... hear me out!
I was "off balance" all of my life.... I went to ENT's and they Never found a thing wrong. I figured they did not know what they were doing and I suffered with balance problems soooo long! Here is what was wrong with me..... ANXIETY!
Because I was anxious all of the time, my body would feel Out of Whack, unstable, off balance... I could hardly walk without holding on to something and I felt like a fool.
BUT, it was because my anxiety level was too high all of the time. I NEVER relaxed, as a matter of fact, I felt that if I ever did relax, I would not feel comfortable because I was used to being sooo uptight, it would not feel normal to me to be relaxed.
Your anxiety and fears MUST be treated. You are in a funk and it may be harder to convince yourself to do it but, I am telling you, your fears of death, being alone, taking a shower, shopping, getting on an elevator.... you name it.... Will all subside if you will get the right combination of medicines and Take them like they are suppose to be taken. If you start feeling better and think you can Pitch them in the trash because you think you do not need them anymore then, you will be right back to square one!
Right now, your fears are totally irrational AND, I am telling you this from experience so, take it to heart.
Here is your choices.... and, you are not dumb because, you basically already know what I am going to tell you BUT....
You get on a GOOD medication that a GOOD doctor that knows how to treat your ANXIETY AND Your FEARS... TAKE IT! Weather you are afraid or not to do it.... DO IT!
OR, Live your life in the dark, horrifying atrocious whirlwind that you are living in now, for the rest of your life.
I am NOT going to even talk to you about the Death thing. Because you are not thinking in the right frame of mind to do that right now.
I told you why you are Off balance. Your body is telling you that your LIFE is Off Balance.... LISTEN TO IT and the symptoms will fade away. The things that you are thinking right now will slowly make sense in a rational way and you will see that, you just needed help with it all.
PLEASE, do this for YOU! 1st...
If you were a DIABETIC.... Would you take that seriously and, would you take the medicines needed to control it??? Then, this is the same thing!!!
You can run from doctor to doctor and talk about this with everyone you can find that will tell you the answer to your fears BUT, until you reach out and accept the help, nobody in this whole world can change a thing for you! Just You!
This really is an awesome, magical world we live in and, it does not need to be a fearful and scary one to live in. You just need to get your mind going in the right direction and you need a little help getting there...
Believe it!
I wish you all of the blessings and courage you need to get this done and start being a NEW YOU!
I am here if you need me!

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I am not a doctor. I have however been on this site since 2008 and have answered many questions and helped a lot of people. You are welcome to check my stats. I love to know how you are getting along in months to come after talking with you. I do Care. I answer many questions about panic attacks from living experiences. I believe that I can save some other person from symptoms that I have been through myself. Having someone to talk to about this terrorizing experience always helps. Someone that has been through it and understands! You may ask me anything related to this subject, no matter how awkward you feel. There is nothing funny about anxiety or panic attacks and you will understand a little more about those feelings and, I will give you ways to get it under control.


I have suffered with panic attacks for the over 45 years. I have overcome many obstacles in regards to panic disorder and can answer many questions of how I overcame them. There is nothing you can ask me that I will not understand.

High school, Real Estate professional, School of hard knocks :)

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