Paranormal Phenomena/My brother's prescence since passing 9/17/2012
My brother in law passed away September 17.
I don't know if it is important, but here is the background. He was mentally handicapped, but highly functioning. Most of his life he was an alcoholic and mutlipack smoker. Bobbie came to live with us about 2.5 years ago when mom became sick and 100% when she passed in January. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in late July. He had not yet started treatment, was in the hospital for sepsis in his g-tube.
Saturday when we were visiting him in the hospital he told us he did not want treatment, he wanted to be able to have a drink now and then, smoke his cigarettes and enjoy his days. Sunday the hospital released him. He called us to tell us he was being released, we were on the otherside of town original told he would not be released until Monday, so it took us a while to get to him. He called non stop asking where we were, were we on the way, he wanted to go home. Note whenever he was previously released, he would call once to tell us and then wait for us to pick him up. He seemed unusually eager to get home, like without knowing it, he somehow knew he was running out of time.
He got home about 5 that night. Had a few beers and a few cigarettes. My husband and I were sitting in the den until about 9:30 and Bobbie kept coming to the door way of the den and standing there just looking at us, like he wanted to say something. We would ask what was up, was he okay, was there something he needed. He would shake his head and turn around and go back to his room. That night after we went to bed, he went into the den and fell asleep on the couch watching TV - he had never done this before, always sleeping in his room.
The next morning he had breakfast with my husband and they went for a walk. When they got back my husband said he seemed 'off' so he asked, "Bobbie, are you okay?" He said "Curtis, I will be okay, I'm just a little sick. I'll be fine." Ten minutes later he went into his bathroom and passed away. They believe it was a blood clot. But it didn't look sudden, he didn't fall over, wasn't laying on the floor. He was squating down on his feet, back against teh wall. That is how he was found.
What makes me feel like Bobbie is still here:
Our dog had always been protective of us when we are in the bedroom and even though he loved Bobbie, if he tried to come in our room and we were in there, he would bark. This was only if someone tries to enter the bedroom. If Marco thought he heard a car or people outside, he bolts down the stairs and barks and paces in front of the windows, he doesn't stay in the bedroom. While happening less frequently, there have been episodes where Marco was in the bedroom with us and went into a barking frenzy, hair standing up and would NOT leave the bedroom, in fact he actually backs around the chest of drawers by the door to the left side of our bed which is away from the door and hidden and kind lays down.
The bigger impact on us ---
Since Bobbie passed, one to two times a week one of our motion detectors will go off, --it is not high end, just a very basic one. This particular detector is located in the hallway between Bobbie's bedroom and the den. It seems to always go off between 8:30-9:00 pm and goes off twice within a minute. The family suggested it was a battery or defect, so my husband swapped it out with a different detector. It has been about four days since it was swapped then at 8:43 tonight, the alarm went off, again twice in a row. THEN my husband said realizing something else was odd 'hey, how come it didn't go off when you and i were going up and down the stairs.' -- we went and looked - the alarm was off, it was not even on. We turned it on and tested it, and it worked as it normally would when on. But confirmed it was not on when it had went off at 8:43.
Neither of these things (the dog or the alarm) has ever happened before Bobbie's passing.
It brought tears to my eyes and not in a bad way. It made me feel that he was very much here. But it also made me sad because I feel like something is keeping him here. There is something about how that last night he kept coming to the doorway of the den and standing there looking at us, like he wanted to tell us something, and then for him to come out to the den and curl up on the couch to go to sleep, which he hadn't done before.
Does it seem like a possibilty that Bobbies here? Is there something we can do to confirm his presence (although i feel in my heart after tonight that he is.)
Thank you for listening.
Thank you so much for your letter. First of all I wish to forward my condolences to you and your family for your loss. I also wish to thank you for the detail that you put into describing all of the events that lead up to Bobby's death and the occurrences that have taken place since. It has really helped me in coming to the conclusions and answers that I hope will help you. I also wish to explain that the reason for the delayed response to your letter is due to the fact that I wanted to consult with the Assistant Director of the Eidolon Project Canada as she works in a medical facility in a medical capacity. Her opinions and insight are of extreme value to me in cases where a medical viewpoint is needed.
The fact that Bobby suffered from being mentally handicapped may be one of the major reasons that he has stayed behind after his passing. In all honesty, this subject is one that I have devoted much thought to and will be a major part of my book regarding the profiling of spectral beings. I will not only draw on my knowledge as an expert in the paranormal, but also from my years of work with the mentally handicapped as a rehabilitation worker in answering your questions and addressing your concerns.
The first issue that I will cover in detail is the fact that Bobby was in control of his life in so much as deciding that he did not want treatment for an inevitable outcome. Unlike many people who facing the same situation, where all hope has been exhausted, Bobby seemed to be at terms with what was happening to him at that time, and what was to be in the near future. As much as hope is a strong factor in helping those with life threatening illnesses recover, death, from one means or another is inevitable. Death is a fact of life that can only be postponed, not stopped. Some people, even those of full mental capacities, can not face their own mortality. Incidentally, this makes them more prone to remain clinging to this realm as a ghost instead of moving on.
You question whether or not Bobby knew that he was dying. I want to say that in my opinion, yes, I believe that he suspected it. However the rest of this paragraph is of extreme importance in understanding what I believe his though patterns to have been. I have separated these into three stages as such:
1- I believe that Bobby knew that his time was running short - he knew that he was "dying".
2- Despite a general knowledge of "dying", I do not believe that he had a full grasp of what "death" actually is.
3- Having died, he currently has absolutely no understanding of what it means to be "dead".
(In his defense, few people do have a full understanding of dying, death and being dead however related they are, they are indeed separate issues).
It is not uncommon for those who are dying to have an intuition about it before the event, from hours to months of the fact. (The "knowledge" may have actually stemmed from the enteric nervous system / Vagus nerve). Seeing as how Bobby was incapacitated in some areas of mental function, his capacity in others, especially those of a psychical nature, may have come forward. I will not go as far to say that he experienced a Death Bed Vision so far from his actual passing, but rather that a type of premonition of his passing had occurred, likely more than once. However as the date of his death passed, I believe that he have have had actual Death Bed Type phenomena happening but he likely did not see them for what they were. Again, this is important. Bobby may have thought the visions were from his illness and weakening state and assumed them to be inner hallucinational phenomena instead of actual beings of the spirit realm waiting to escort him into the light. Now as normally when a person has people from the spirit realm come for them hey readily go into the light. However if Bobby misinterpreted the phenomena, he may have not gone into the light and subsequently, has remained trapped between realms as a ghost. It is my opinion that this is what has happened and why you are now experiencing the events that you are.
Albeit rare, the issue with the motion detectors has been documented in cases. My organization used a large variety of motion sensing hardware, motion detectors among them. I also took into consideration the behavior of your dog. When I assess a situation, I take many factors into consideration. Events and timing are major concerns for me and your situation fits many of the criteria I look for in a haunting. You inquire as to how to make certain that this is indeed Bobby. You could put out what are known in the field as "trigger objects". Obviously two come to immediate mind, a bottle of beer and a cigarette. You could position them in a room where they are not going to be disturbed and then close the door behind you. Here is where your motion detector is going to come in handy. You will position the detector, not to capture ghostly movement, but to capture any living being from approaching the door inadvertently and destroy the experiment in the process. When you set up the objects, you will need to place them on blank paper and then trace around them to mark their position. If possible, set up a PC or laptop camera to film overnight. The purpose is to see if the objects move. By experience, I will warn that when one goes out of the way to capture evidence, as a rule activity comes to a standstill.
At this time I would caution you to calling out to him, as he may not answer himself, and having opened the door, someone else from the ghost realm may answer the call. There are safe ways of handling that issue and I will be able to guide you through them should that time come.
Colleen, at some time, and probably sooner that later, Bobby should be sent into the light where he belongs, or at least an attempt should be made. He is trapped, and may not fully understand being dead. As I indicated earlier, he may have come to terms in his own way with dying, he has not come to terms with being dead (in our sense of the word). Sending him into the light is again something that you will need help with as to not make matters worse. Incidentally, all anyone can do is try. There is absolutely nobody on the earth realm, including any and all psychic/mediums who can state with 100% absolution that they can send a deceased person's soul into the light. Not one! Look at it this way - If all the divine beings of light, the guides, the guardians, angels or Divinity Itself can not force an earthbound soul to enter the light from their advantage, what are the chances that Mr. Sludge the Medium can? Zero! All we can do is try. The choice is inevitably that of the ghost. However, I do believe whole hearted that once Bobby has been guided to the light, he will go. Again, when the time comes, I can help you with this.
I imagine that we will be in correspondence with each other again in the future. I hope that this has shed some light on the concerns that you have. Remember that I'm here to help should you need me.