Paranormal Phenomena/Soul mate/ Twin flame?


I do not no much about soul mates but happend across your site.

I met a guy 3 years ago and instantly I was drawn to him, curious, and exsited. I even remember thinking there he is, before I went over and introduced myself. (this has never happened before).

When I went over to him I talked with him for maybe a minute and was then interrupted. And didn't talk to him again. 2 weeks later he called me, he had felt the same connection and found my number, Ironically I was talking about him to a friend at the very moment he called.

We became friends instantly, (which i am not good at, at all). And have had the best friendship i have ever had. He had a girlfriend at the time who was in Peru and we both tried hard not to become romantic, but it happened.

His girlfriend came back and us being immature, never told her what was going on. They finally broke up and we got together. I was afraid to be with him, because I was insecure that he would cheat on me like he did her.. I was never secure in our relationship and we tried for 2 years to make that happen. We also started getting into really heated arguments and could not seem to let go of pain. We were both insecure and worried the other one would go.

We have broken up and I have been trying to move on with my life. But I find every person I meet boring and incomparable. Can we really be soul mates if we have gotten so mean with one another? I don't know what to do.

Hello Hollyball,

Short answer is yes, soul mate relationships can turn mean .. when people do not let go when they are supposed to, or for other reasons I will explain in a moment.  Some people teach that a soul mate relationship is forever, but the 'forever' part is usually when we are in spirit, where we remain 'family' forever .. here on earth, in each life time, soul mates help us to learn about ourselves, as they pass through our lives, if that is what we have chosen them to do.  Let me explain ...

Just to start with, there are no such things as 'twin flames', or one person's perfect match that they are supposed to either search the world for, or wait for (a long time) before they fall in love.  There are thousands of people in the world that are compatible partners with us, who come into our lives in three different ways (as the saying goes) - briefly for a reason, only for a season (however long that is), or forever.  These days there doesn't seem to be a lot of 'forever' type of relationships, but they do happen.  They exist because people either grown together , or one compromises their natures enough to let the other rule .. they might even take turns doing this over the years.

A soul mate is a person from our 'soul' family, which is the group we exist in in heaven that is made up of thousands of individuals.  When we reincarnate we usually come 'down to earth' within a small part of that same group of people, although we might all choose to live in different parts of the world.  When we meet someone from our soul family (male or female) the sense of familiarity, of having known them before, of simply 'knowing' them now, is very strong.  We become 'instant' friends.  It's a great connection, but its not always supposed to last.

In spirit (heaven) we are beings without gender (neither male nor female), and we choose who we will be before we come into the world.  When we get here we are suddenly either male or female, and when we meet someone from the opposite sex (from our soul family) the attraction (sexual, which is caused by a chemical reaction in our bodies) and can feel instantaneous, and very deep, no matter how old the people are.  As adults we decide we must be lovers and spend the rest of our lives together .. but .. personality can often then get in the way.

Your life experiences, and your genetics, created who you are today.  The same happens with the man you met.  It can interfere in even the best laid plans we make before we come into world.  You guys might have been meant to meet and spend a long time together, or not.  Your own fears might have been a life lesson you had to overcome, since you both seemed to be sharing that same sense of 'fear of commitment', or the lack of it.  That's the problem with soul mate relationships, we have extemely high expectations within them, that one or the other person might not be able to live up to - but our souls remember that we are powerful spiritual beings .. and want the same sort of connection we feel as spirit beings, here on earth, which is nearly impossible given the limits ascribed to us by our personalites/life events.

So our soul mate turns out not to be who we were hoping for, because of their life challenges, or simply how they choose to be, and we should really recognise this and let them leave our lives again, but we don't want to because of that strong bond we feel .. and so the bond has to be broken somehow.  So we fight, and its a fight to survive, because we are not supposed to live our lives as wounded people, and the person doing the wounding .. is really us.  We push away the other person, or drive them away, with our actions .. all the while grieving that the relationship must end.

You need time to grieve and let go now.  If you will do this the door will open for someone else to come into your life, who, while they don't have the intensity of a soul mate relationship, will still provide you with joy and peace and an emotional connection that satisfies whatever your heart is looking for.  You might even meet another of your soul family who is not so wounded and have a much happier relationship with them.  What you are missing right now, is, more than likely, the intensity of the emotions .. which makes any feeling not as intense seem boring.  You might also be judging the new people who come through your life as not good enough because you don't feel that way about them.  Well, don't turn your back on the good ones, because one of them might be the man who really is a good match for who you are becoming.  You have to decide to give the new one a chance.  

Remember - soul mates come into our lives for a reason, a season or forever .. it is up to us to know when to let go.

Love & Peace

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Ama Nazra


I can answer questions about ghosts, spirits, elementals, angels, demons and fallen angels, healing and counselling related to metaphysical and spiritual issues. I answer from my experience, my knowledge, and what I have been taught over my lifetime. I recognise that there is no such thing as a 'expert' in this field, there is far too much to know, even when we specialise.


I have seen spirits, ghosts, elementals, angels, fallen angels and demons all my life. I have worked as a Spirit Rescuer, or ghostbuster, for the past 20 years, in Australia and around the world. I have helped people find solutions for hauntings, and other nastier problems, for the past 27 years. Sometimes the solutions are as simple as having your house blessed by a minister of your church, or having a medium (someone who can talk to ghosts) come into the house and help the ghost go into a healing place, and sometimes it takes a little more work, which I can do for you, in person if you are near where I live, or 'remotely', which means that I can reach across the world (and have done with great success for the whole 14 years I've been on the internet) and clear your home or business for you. You don't have to be religious for these choices to work, it is all about the energy. Having your house blessed changes the structure of the energy of the household, clearing accumulated emotions of all the people who reside there, and any that have lived there before. It can be done by a minister, or by smudging .. but should be done by someone who knows what they are doing. For more information see my personal webpages.

Internet - my ghostly site. - my spiritual site with my book about the fall of the angels, among other things - the Question and Answer pages where I do the same work as here among other varied conversations

I have studied Anthropology and Theology at university. I have studied mythology and the paranormal since a small child. I am also a Reiki Master Teacher, Metaphysical Healer and Spiritual Counsellor.

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