Paranormal Phenomena/I have lost my dog, but I want her back
QUESTION: Dear Ama,
First all thank you for providing help for people like us who have lost their loving pet. I lost my dog Sonu (a miniature pom)on 23/2/13 while driving back from a late evening walk with her. It was sometime around 12 midnight. I noticed very unusual incidents prior to her death while taking a walk. Like all street dogs barking at us , One of them coming behind us and reaching out to Sonu in my arms and not wanting to go. Was that some kind of a sign ???
Sonu was suffering from multiple ailments from last 3 years, Main being Renal Failure along with an enlarged heart. Her creat was 8.4 when we diagnosed her, ever since we both as a team have struggled to survive with each other. I gave up everything in life just to save her, my job, my leisure my everything. In short I was with her 24/7 for 3 long years helping her to pull on. We were inseparable and loved eachother like there is no other.
That night she died in my arms while I was driving. For short drives I used to keep her on my lap while i was driving. So was it that night. Off late her health had deteriorated even further and she was I know critical with multiple ailments and complications. I could not save her for I could not believe that she was leaving me. I stopped the car thinking she wanted to vomit like always but no she was dying. I have this guilt in me now that i did not save her. I miss her alot. Cant think of life without her. She was a part and parcel of each minute of my life. We both did things as per eachothers likes.
Does she too feel strong about being with me ?? Will she come back for this bond ???
People who knew us always say that I took care of her more than what a mother would do for her child. And yes that is true. She was my daughter. I want her, I want to feel her presence if she is here. How do I do that.
Please Please help. I'm lonely without her.
ANSWER: Hello Shy,
I am very sorry to hear about Sonu. It's so hard when our beloved animals are so very sick, and we can only watch them suffer. We do what we can for them, but eventually it comes a time when we have to let go, and let them go Home to find the healing they cannot find here on earth. Nothing you had not already done could have saved her. You have no reason to feel guilty. It was just her time. Healing is a process we also go through when we cross over, and our beloved pets are waiting for us when we arrive.
Sometimes, once they have crossed, our pets come back to visit for a very short time, fleeting glimspes, they are not supposed to stay, because they need their time in healing too. When she does, you will know it. It is not something that you can 'make' happen. It happens at the right time. I still think of Gus, though he doesn't visit us anymore .. at least he came to this new house a couple of times before joining his friends in the Rainbow fields. I'm glad he's well again, and can play.
Letting go is such a painful process, but we make it harder by wanting to hang on. Our pets don't stop loving us once they die, but they know that one of the lessons of our lives is acceptance, and help us to learn that when we have to say goodbye.
Sonu might return, even if only for a moment, when you are least expecting it, not when you are feeling desperate and trying to keep alive a link that has already been broken. She is not allowed to remake that link. It is not in your best interest to do so, and she is a very loving dog and knows that she has to do what is best for you. She might choose to reincarnate into another dog for you to love .. I know Bailey, my kelpie cross did this .. he came back as a female cat, and we still have her. When she was first born, such a tiny kitten, the runt of litter, she had mannerisms that he had had, and it was clear that it was him. He was quite a handful when alive, and she's quite a handful now .. lots of attitude! But I don't think of her as Bailey .. she is Tigerlily, half tiger, and half the calm and sedate lily .. :-)
I do not think that Sonu would want you to be lonely, but truthfully, fleeting glimpses of our pets often makes that worse. It's when we have accepted that they are gone that it is easier for them to come back, just for a moment, to say 'hi, I am fine now'. What can you do now, for yourself, that provides a distraction to help you to get on with your life? You gave up so much to look after her, soon it will be time to rejoin the world, to find friends again among the living. Perhaps even to find a sister for Sonu, who remains part of your family forever. It might hurt to think of that now, but in the long run, it might also help your healing.
Talk to her as if she's still there, she can hear you. And you know that she will be there when its your turn to cross over, along with any other pets you have had in your family, and those you add now that she is gone. That's the joy of love, to be able to share it with others, our pets and our human loved ones.
Love & Peace
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Dear Ama,
Thanks alot for your valuable inputs and healing message. I'm sure its given me some strength. Yes as you said , I do call out her name and talk to her as I did at different times of the day. But then tears roll down in an outburst not being able to see her or feel her.
When she was there I had told her that whenever she goes she must come back to me as my very own child , with a new body and a longer ailment free life. Sonu understood every word that I said to her , whatever I spoke she understood and responded accordingly. Was wondering if you could elaborate on this. Can she come back in that form if she wants to, whenever it happens ??
Thanks for your reply
In my experience animals do not come back as human. The buddhists believe we can, but, while I have met many other forms of beings in human bodies, I have never met an animal spirit. She could come back as a puppy, and you would know her when you saw her, because she would 'feel' like Sonu, even if she grew into being a whole different personality, the way Tigerlily did.
As to animals understanding what we say .. I had a cat called Meg. Now, she is very wise .. there I go .. she 'was' very wise. I buried her under the apricot tree back at our old house a few months before Gus died. She would wander through the kitchen, with Gus and I watching her, after she died .. really made her presence felt, but she always was a very determined 'lady'. She adopted me when she was 13 years old because she knew her old family didn't want her anymore .. and I was delighted to have her. When she wanted to outside, too lazy to use the catdoor? .. she would say 'ouuuut noooowwwww' and then go and stand at whichever door she deemed appropriate. LOL I miss her as much as I miss Gus, but I know they are both fine, and wish happiness for me, so I don't dwell on their passing, or not much. She really knew what I was thinking and feeling, and given the behaviour of my two cats now .. they are telepathic .. they can certainly read our emotions, and probably our minds as well. And dogs have such big hearts, they personify unconditional love .. part of that would be to know their owner's heart ..
When you are ready, go and look among new puppies for Sonu, or tell her to find you instead. If that is supposed to happen, it will. In the meantime, be happy. Sonu is no longer sick and in pain, she's free to chase rainbows again. She would want the same happiness for you. I's something we have to grab and make happen for ourselves. Of course its all right to grieve too .. but don't stay there too long. She loves you.
Love & Peace