Paranormal Phenomena/Please help me understand.
Hi, Christine. Thank you for spending time to read this mail. I admit I chose to consult you because we have the same first name; but I'm banking on that small thing in the hopes that you would shed light on what is currently going on with me right now. I'm also trusting you to give me your psychological opinion in case this isn't what I think it is. Whatever it is please don't leave anything out. I really just feel the need to know.
Just to give you a background, I'm currently experiencing a very difficult, suffocating and emotional parting with a friend named Eloisa. I chose to leave her because being with her just felt so dark, scary and clouded. I feel restricted and at times it's even literally hard to breath. I chose to leave because I feel like I'm slowly erasing myself by trying to accommodate her ever changing moods and the harsh treatment I get whenever this happens so I might sound very unstable.
I've always been told that I was a very sensitive person. And I have also notice that it was true since I have developed the habit of trying to avoid as much conflict as possible. I become a wreck during very emotional situations ( the negative kind) and it's at these times when I feel sharp pain on my chest and there's a cold, somewhat strange sensation at my back, specifically starting from the nape of my neck down to my shoulder blades. At times I feel as though stomach would just "flip" over. Kind of like that feeling you get when you are nervous; only sharper.
Sometimes, the feeling isn't constant. It changes so rapidly I couldn't keep track of it myself. I feel dazed and unfocused in crowded malls and it usually takes a lot of effort to even focus on one thing in different occasions. When I leave a crowded area there's deep, empty void feel I get and I could no longer pinpoint exactly what or even how I felt in that area. I also sometimes get impressions on places I should "be" in. More like a gut feeling. Or the places I'll be able to stay longer. Like a slight weight off the shoulder and that warm feeling.
Other times, I feel apprehension when I step into one place (like, for example, my house. It's been that way for 2 year already) There has been a time (I'd like to call it the mirror incident) Where this huge full length mirror was put in my house by my mom. During the time the mirror was still in my house I had episodes of feeling like I am being watched. That, that bad feeling was coming from the mirror so I sought advice and was told to clean the mirror with some water and sea salt and to cover the mirror with a curtain. For a moment it was better but then I started having the feelings of uneasiness again and I constantly wake up around 3 to 3:15 am with this heavy feeling and I donít know if it was just me, but sometimes I think I see this dark hooded figure behind it. This figure manifested itself in my dreams once. And since then I begged to have the mirror removed from my house. Past the removal of that mirror, I cleaned my house with some water and sea salt. It became better for a while but I still feel that itís watching me. And, like now, at times when Iím handling emotional situations, I feel something watching me closely.
When I close my eyes I see these faces. Pale, ugly faces of a bald man with blackened teeth and another I cannot place, looking at me, mocking me face to face. Recently my solution to this is to keep the lights on even when I sleep since I feel vulnerable in the dark. Iíve covered my mirrors at night when not at use, I work myself to the bone to be to tired to not think about it.
But doing this makes me feel self destructive. And sometimes I break down because there so many emotions surging into me all at once I feel so tired and at the end of my tether. And I feel like Iím slowly losing emotions. My friends say I am an empath. My mother says itís all just stress and my imagination. I doubt this; because she has gifts. And most of my relatives on my motherís side have them.
I doubt both suggestions because I cannot place a specific way of explaining and I want to believe Iím perfectly normal but recently thatís really getting hard to do.
So please, help me. If this is just depression or stress talking or if this is something else, please help shed light on this and if itís not too imposing, please guide me.
I'll try to help you sort out your experiences with complete honesty but am limited to what I will say for a public inquiry.
I do think you're experiencing a lot of anxiety attacks related to stress - specifically various fears, apprehensions and uncertainties going on in your life right now. This is usually labeled as panic attacks. You are also suffering from mild depression which you need to get a handle on to avoid a deeper state of sadness which in itself exacerbates your ability to cope and to focus.
You have also experienced a very disturbing relationship with a person who was very angry and destructive to herself and you. Your trusting innocence and your mental barriers against negativity have been severely compromised. In essence the relationship has resulted in emotional trauma on all levels.
Spiritually speaking, what concerns me the most is the separate incidents you have experienced of a negative nature such as feeling watched, waking at specific times during sleep for no reason, oppressive -heavy- atmospheres, seeing scary faces with your Third Eye and observing a hooded figure around you. These are common clues of negative entity activity.
We all have psychic gifts. Some people tap into them either willingly or unwillingly earlier than others. Some branches of a family tree have more pronounced abilities than others. If psychic gifts predominate your family history, it is especially important that you be aware of what's around you spiritually at all times, how to control your use of psi abilities and how to protect yourself from unwanted dark energies.
Be aware that any vulnerabilities you have emotionally, mentally or physically can be used against you by demonic presences. Your feelings of trying to avoid negative people, places and things is normal for hyper-sensitive individuals. It's also a sign that you are probably around something negative and your innate knowing is warning you of spiritual danger. This is your Divine sense of evil being close and that's something you should heed not with fear but with a sense of comfort and power.
You really need to work on your Divine spiritual connection to God. You have Divine allies that will protect you and support you through your prayers and faith. Dark energies are fearful of people with strong faith and who seek to use their abilities for Divine work. Please remember that having faith in God and living a prayerful lifestyle isn't about being religious. It's about being close to God and Jesus personally. Whatever has distanced you from God isn't his problem with you, it's your perceived problem with yourself and what you think God does or doesn't like about you.
Every day is another chance to reach towards God. Right now you need that protection and help and it's the best start you can make towards being less fearful. Secondly, you need to understand your psychic gifts. I suggest you read the following books available to purchase on the Internet through most major book carriers. They will steer you in the right direction concerning demonic problems and proper development of your abilities.
Trust Your Vibes - Sonya Choquette
Divine Guidance - Doreen Virture
School of the Supernatural - Ryan Wyatt
Clean House, Strong House - Kimberley Daniels
Get your power back on all fronts. Find good loving people to be around. Be independent of negative situations. Nurture yourself and giving people instead of nurturing others who don't appreciate you. If you are pestered by dark energies, call God in to remove it. Fear is your worst enemy. You control how much you look like easy prey to demonic entities. Use your gifts for joyful, happy things and help others with them. Your gifts are God-given. Rest, recuperate and grow in the right direction towards things of Light.