Paranormal Phenomena/Ghost or No Ghost?
I guess I should start from some experiences I had as a child. I've always considered myself to be an extremely emotional person. I've also suffered with depression for many years now. At first, it was something that I thought was normal, feeling sad, but as I grew older I realized that it wasn't. Anyways, my childhood was essentially normal but on days where I felt especially sad or lonely, I always sensed a presence near me. It didn't feel malignant or make me uneasy, I felt like he was more of a prankster and I felt like his only goal was to cheer me up. He'd open my door, slam cabinets, whistle or hum and none of these ever really bothered me because like I said, he didn't feel like he was there to hurt me. I never saw him but somehow I felt he was there. He was especially active when I was in that "half-sleep," that's when I could hear him the most.
Walking home from school I'd also see a man in a bowler hat and black trench coat sitting in the driver seat of cars or standing to the side far off. Though his appearance was dark, I felt like he was watching over me more than anything. As I got to be a teenager, the activity never subsided and I saw the tall man more and more. But I also began seeing other things and they weren't all friendly and I would immediately feel uneasy.
Now that I've passed the age of being a legal adult, I sought counseling and take medication for my depression and since then I feel like the activity I experience has decreased significantly. But recently, strange things have been happening to me and I'm not sure if I can trust it or if I should trust it. My friend is currently renovating a house and I help out and I can't help but get the intense feeling that I'm being watched every time I'm there. The other day as my friend turned the corner in the hallway, I thought I saw him enter a room but there was no one in there. At all. I felt like something was trying to lure me away from him. I'm not scared of whatever this thing is but immediately as I said those words aloud, my friend had simultaneously opened a window that's perfectly fine, not broken, doesnt need to be fixed, but he swears he saw a hand manifest and slam it down, almost catching his fingers.
Now, the thing I'm really worried about is can entities latch onto people? And if so, can they even be considered ghosts? I'm in the process of switching medication so I'm on a very low dose meaning that it's barely working. My sadness and extreme loneliness are felt almost every day and since I began helping to renovate my friend's house I've been noticing strange things happening in mine. The difference is, it's nothing like I experienced as a child. During my showers, I'm my most relaxed and at ease and 99% of the time, I will hear a voice calling out to me but I can't quite make out what it says and it sounds exactly like my mother, who is still alive, and when I turn off the water, nothing. Silence. I feel like it toys with me but like I said, I'm not afraid of whatever this is, at most, I'm just uneasy. Lately, I haven't even been feeling like myself. Something is definitely off with me. But what really bothers me though is the other night, I hadn't slept and decided to get something to drink and as I entered my darkened living room to reach the kitchen a full body apparition manifested itself right in front of me. I've never, ever seen that. It was definitely a woman in an old white dress but I couldn't make out her face. She didn't threaten me or touch me, she let me pass her, but I heard her again during my shower tonight. So another question I have is: what could she be? Is she another sort of pseudo-companion coming here to make me feel at ease? Or is she, I don't know, feeding off of my negative energy? And if that's the case, can she make me feel worse? Should I be worried?
Thanks for writing such a detailed summary of your situation. Since you have left this query as an Open rather than Private discussion, I will answer your question briefly. If you have more questions, please use the Private setting so I can allude to more personal information for you.
I believe their is a lineal reason for your difficulties since childhood which has caused you a lot of years suffering from depression due to confusion, fear and spiritual interference. The entity you're dealing with is dark and dangerous as you already know. It's been with you for a long time and constant paranormal activity and exposure to it has really worn you down. It will continue to escalate.
Ghosts are not always ghosts. Malevolent nonhuman entities will often present themselves as "acceptable" spirits to coexist with until they move forward with their true agenda over time. That plan is to deceive you, debilitate you, make you live a fear-based existence and ultimately to destroy your life. Shadows, mists, light anomalies and outright bestial facades will appear in dreams or in reality eventually and this is when you know it's not human.
Despite this, don't be a victim. Calm, rational thoughts and actions steel you against entity manipulation. You can beat this through faith, divine help and a relentless resolve for this spirit to be gone.
First you need to learn discernment (the truth of a spirit's intent and form). Then you have to seek the Light rather than the dark with your gifts. This means you must align yourself with Divine assistance and protection. You are constantly vulnerable to attack without a daily relationship with the Divine.
This isn't about religion. It's about your soul and God. Your gifts came to you from God and your purpose is to use them to help others not to deal with non-living spirits. Until you free yourself of this entity, your Light potential is blocked by evil. Concentrating on the dead and spirits is not healthy. People called to confront negativity are the only ones who should deal with it.
I am recommending some books for you so you can understand what's going on and get a handle on this situation. Knowledge is power in this case. It will reduce your discouragement and increase your defenses against uncertainty.
Divine Guidance - Doreen Virtue
School of the Supernatural - Ryan Wyatt
When Pigs Move In - Don Dickerman
I hope this helps. Please take care.