AboutDebbie Preece Expertise Feeling like a frustrated parent? Learn how to get first-time obedience,cheerfully and happily from children 4-14. Designed for the easy use of Mom and the children keep it going. This Christian author has sold more than 4,000 copies of her remarkable system to thousands of battle-weary parents who are trying desperately to raise children that contribute to a happy family, better society and love of God. She has spoken to standing room only audiences that laugh and cry with her as she shares her insightful discovery of a unique parenting tool that she declares is a gift from God.
http://parenting101.home.att.net/
Experience One desperate night after a very trying day, while raising three children four years apart, Debbie found herself in "Shock" with the behavior of her children and frustrated with her parenting skills. Her home had become a Combat Zone and she was the prisoner! The "Golden Rule" wasn't working. It seemed the more she did for her children, the more selfish and demanding they became.
Teaching internal values like integrity and honesty; as well as, happy mommy and family values, such as, children responding the first time happily and cheerfully were a ‘mission impossible’. The consistency factor on the parenting side was booby trapped by the troops all day long.
That night, after holding up her flag of surrender, she sent an emergency S.O.S. to her commander in chief and a new battle plan was developed that virtually guaranteed her survival and that of her family. What resulted in 1983 was “The Happy Face Token System.” Her sigh of relief (AHH!) could be heard in the form of happy children responding with; "What can I do for you Mommy? May I set the table? You’re the BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" She had gained control of her family and a truce had been accepted with this most remarkable interactive parenting tool. Consistency was a built-in feature of this now “Kid Tested & Mother Approved” INTERACTIVE experience.
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Publications From Combat Zone to Love at Home (book)
http://floridabestmom.com
http://happyfacetokens.home.att.net
Expert: Debbie Preece Date: 5/21/2008 Subject: 5 year old still acts like she's 2!! Help!
Question Hi, I am having a problem with my 5 year old. She usually wakes up in the morning before I do and within that time, instead of watching her cartoons or playing with her toys, she gets into EVERYTHING of mine. I have plenty of colorful walls from her getting into my permanent markers and nail polish. She will not stay in her room till I get up. I have tried everything. I've tried setting her alarm clock so when it goes off then she gets out, I've tried telling her to get out when her clock says certain numbers, I've tried putting gates in front of her door, but she just pushes them down and comes out of her anyways. I am loosing my mind. I don't want to wake up every day to a big mess and her getting into things she knows she not supposed to. I am what you could call a "Night Owl". I like to stay up late and sleep till about 8 or 9, but she gets up at 6:30 most days and that's always been too early for me to want to get up. My 4 month old doesn't even get up that early. The only other option I was thinking of, is latching her door closed on the outside and then I would unlatch it when I get up, but I really don't want to result to that. There would be a lot of people that I know that would be very upset at me if I did that. She starts Kindergarten in September, shouldn't she have outgrown this by now? She's been doing this stuff since she was 2. My Husband and I are very convinced that she has ADHD, but they won't test her till she's 6. I really don't know what else to do. Today, she was able to figure out how to unlock the fridge and the freezer and made a huge mess with popcycles and wasted them all. And she has been lying about this all nonstop, too. I'll find a mess she made and she says she didn't do it, sometimes she blames the cats. I need help with this! How can I keep her in her room till I get up? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please help! Thanks so much!!
Sincerely,
Tanya Thurmes
Answer Hi Tanya,
I can hear the desperation in your voice! It sounds like you are a new mother again as well. Sleep time is important for you, I can understand that, however, it may be that you will have to get up when your older daughter does and rest on the couch in the family room while she is watching tv. You are the mommy and have to adapt to the child until things change or are re-learned. Or I suppose having a TV in your room where she can come and sit on your bed with you until you are ready to get up would be something to consider.
In any event, that is the number one change. It is my opinion, that your daughter does these things because she can. You aren't monitoring her and obviously, she wants attention. The new baby could also enhance some of this behavior.
Include her with the baby when feeding time comes around. Read a story to her or talk with her about her toys or favorite show etc. She needs your attention mostly when you're busy with the other one. Jealousy could be an unspoken but played out emotion that she doesn't understand as well.
Try giving her just 5 or 10 minutes when she says she needs you. Stop what you're doing and give her undivided attention. Tell her you have 10 minutes to help her. You may find that is all she really needs to let you get on with your activity.
Does she help dress the baby or hold the baby or coo and kiss the baby? She needs to feel that emotional attachment as well. She is the big sister, the teacher, her best friend at some point.
ADD could also be an issue, but cutting out higly refined sugars and giving fruit snacks and protein snacks like chicken fingers or peanut butter/Jelly squares or crackers help keep her hyperness in check. Eliminate things with "red dyes" like cool aid or jello. Eliminate additives that are in cheese puffs, freitos, and the like. Cut down on sugar cereals, and go to cheerios, rice krispies, raisin bran with sugar free SPLENDA. Some drinks with aspartame can cause hyperactivity as well. This takes your time and awareness to help her in this area.
I just started the Happy Face Token system on a new generation of children. My grandchildren. His mommy had a new baby brother 4 months ago. He is nearly 4. Within 3 days he was listening, doing what I asked him to do the first time I asked, happily and cheerfully with the response, ya, sure grandma. He picks up his toys unless he pays me to do it with happy face treasure. He told me the other day, Grandma, You're the best! His mommy is using it and feels such a sense of relief and can take pleasure in all her children now.
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