AboutLeslie Truex Expertise I am a parent of two, but also I'm a social worker with over 15 year experience working with children and families. I can provide many tips and techniques to help with child behavior, interventions for specific behavioral issues, ideas to help children through difficult times such as divorce or grief, hints on keeping the family running smoothly, and tips for developing confident, happy children.
Experience I have a master's in social work and over 15 years experience working with children and families. I have worked in schools, public health, mental health and adoption agencies providing parent education courses and children's groups.
Expert: Leslie Truex Date: 5/21/2008 Subject: 5 year old still acts like she's 2!! Help!
Question Hi, I am having a problem with my 5 year old. She usually wakes up in the morning before I do and within that time, instead of watching her cartoons or playing with her toys, she gets into EVERYTHING of mine. I have plenty of colorful walls from her getting into my permanent markers and nail polish. She will not stay in her room till I get up. I have tried everything. I've tried setting her alarm clock so when it goes off then she gets out, I've tried telling her to get out when her clock says certain numbers, I've tried putting gates in front of her door, but she just pushes them down and comes out of her anyways. I am loosing my mind. I don't want to wake up every day to a big mess and her getting into things she knows she not supposed to. I am what you could call a "Night Owl". I like to stay up late and sleep till about 8 or 9, but she gets up at 6:30 most days and that's always been too early for me to want to get up. My 4 month old doesn't even get up that early. The only other option I was thinking of, is latching her door closed on the outside and then I would unlatch it when I get up, but I really don't want to result to that. There would be a lot of people that I know that would be very upset at me if I did that. She starts Kindergarten in September, shouldn't she have outgrown this by now? She's been doing this stuff since she was 2. My Husband and I are very convinced that she has ADHD, but they won't test her till she's 6. I really don't know what else to do. Today, she was able to figure out how to unlock the fridge and the freezer and made a huge mess with popcycles and wasted them all. And she has been lying about this all nonstop, too. I'll find a mess she made and she says she didn't do it, sometimes she blames the cats. I need help with this! How can I keep her in her room till I get up? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please help! Thanks so much!!
Sincerely,
Tanya Thurmes
Answer Hi Tanya,
I will caution you from locking her in her room as some places may see this as a safety issue and consider it abuse. However, its clear that something must be done. I'm surprised that who ever you talked to wouldn't test her. I would find a child specialist and let them evaluate her. It may not be ADHD but something else. But you'll want to get in touch with someone who specializes in child behavior. This person will not only be able to assess the situation but provide you with interventions. She may even suggest a door lock but you'll only want to do that if its part of treatment.
In the meantime, what are the consequences of her misbehaving? She needs a consequence that makes an impression but that she'll also remember in the "heat" of the moment. This can be hard if she's impulsive and there is no one up to help her remember.
Another option is to put some sort of bell or ringer on her door so that you are awakened when she is.
