AboutCathy Bailey Expertise I can answer questions on dealing with the difficult behavior of babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school children and teenagers.
I can also help with issues such as bed wetting, head lice, thumb sucking and other childhood concerns.
I can offer advice on children and homework, communicating with your child’s teacher and coping with bullying, amongst other school issues.
If there is a parenting issue I can’t answer, I am honest about it, and try my best to refer the questioner to somewhere where they can find an answer.
I am the author of www.parents-in-a-pickle.com a website dedicated to helping parents deal with challenging and difficult behavior.
Experience I am a mother of two boys, aged 13 and 7. My husband and I have fostered various children and we have adopted one (the 7 year old).
I have been a teacher since 1991, both in secondary schools, and now in a primary school.
I have run various language clubs in nurseries, teaching French and Spanish through games, songs and other fun activities.
Education/Credentials I have a BA Honors Degree from London University in French and Spanish, and a P.G.C.E. (teaching qualification) from Cambridge University.
Expert: Cathy Bailey Date: 6/2/2008 Subject: 10 year old and hygiene
Question QUESTION: We are having a problem getting our son to take a shower. He will let the water run for 15 minutes and just sit in the bathroom. We know because when he gets out he looks just as dirty as he went in. My husband wants to try and let him decide when to take a shower and not nag our son about it. And if our son starts smelling my husband wants to say that he can't be near him if he stinks. I'd like to try something else. How do we get our son to care about being clean.
ANSWER: Hi Vicky
You need to get your son into good hygiene habits so that he wants to be clean. Many children of his age are not interested in taking showers, it's not fun enough!
I would suggest 2 things.
First, many children of his age prefer baths, mainly because they can play in the bath so it is more fun for them. Even my 14 year old, who mainly has showers, still likes to have a bath from time to time so that he can play with Lego and things.
I would encourage your son to have a warm bubble bath 2 or 3 times a week. You could invest in some appropriate toys for his age, such as a mini basket ball game or a target and water pistol.
If puberty has started and he is starting to smell, invest in some deodorant for him. Something which will make him feel 'grown up' such as a spray might encourage him to use it.
Secondly, I suggest you take him swimming once a week. He will need to shower before and after his swim, and this is an opportunity for him to easily wash his hair without fuss.
As swimming is good exercise as well, this is a win win situation.
In the end, you are the parents. If none of these measures encourage your son to stay clean, you can start insisting. If necessary, once he is in the bath, one of you can come in to check up on him, and possibly wash and rinse his hair for him. He is only 10, there is no shame in getting some help with this.
QUESTION: Do you think kids this age ought to be allowed to decide if they are going to bathe or not. If we don't say, "It's 8 o'clock time to get in the shower" he will not. My husband thinks he's old enough to decide for himself. That he's old enough to take responsibility for himself in that department. I don't think this should be a 10 year olds choice.
Answer I personally don't think he is old enough to be expected to make the choice himself. Some children of his age might, but my eldest (14) still needs reminding. My youngest, who is 8 (not much younger than your son) will only get a bath when I run it for him and go in to wash his hair. He is only just remembering to clean his teeth by himself!
I would say a 16 year old should make decisions like this, but any younger and I think they still need some guidance.
