AboutLeslie Truex Expertise I am a parent of two, but also I'm a social worker with over 15 year experience working with children and families. I can provide many tips and techniques to help with child behavior, interventions for specific behavioral issues, ideas to help children through difficult times such as divorce or grief, hints on keeping the family running smoothly, and tips for developing confident, happy children.
Experience I have a master's in social work and over 15 years experience working with children and families. I have worked in schools, public health, mental health and adoption agencies providing parent education courses and children's groups.
Expert: Leslie Truex Date: 6/18/2008 Subject: 5 year old
Question Hi Leslie,
Our son turned five on June 5th and will attend a private school this fall with
children who are between 3 and 15 months older than him. He tested well on
the Giselle test and has been at a Montessori school at age 3 (half days) and 4
(full days) so my husband and I thought it would be a good choice to have
him start the kindergarten this year. The problem is there is a trend to hold
late birthdays (especially boys) back, so he will be the second to the youngest
child in his class. Had we waited until next year he would have been the
oldest and most certainly the tallest. He is very tall for his age.
According to the admission counselor he was borderline - we could go either
way. We were concerned that if we put him in the junior kindergarten class,
he would be bored and reasoned that he would be five in plenty of time to
start kindergarten. Now I realize we didn't take into consideration the
significant age difference with the other children in his class.
Now that the school year is getting closer, I am afraid he may not be mature
enough simply because the children are so much older than him. We have
signed a contract to pay a hefty tuition and cannot get out of it now. What to
do? The main concern I have is that he is socially immature - sort of awkward
at fitting in with a group of boys, asking "Will you play with me?" and begging
boys who are mean to him to be his friend. He is an only child, so I feel that
plays a huge role in his neediness - but for the most part he enjoys being
around older children and gravitates towards them when opportunity permits.
Sorry to go on and on but I wanted to explain my concern clearly. What are
your thoughts? Is there anything I can do to help my child prepare socially for
kindergarten in the fall? Am I too worried?
Answer Hi Tammy,
The reasoning for keeping boys out of school until they are six or almost six has to do with social maturity. The extra year gives boys a chance to better the develop the skills they'll need to do well in school. Not just with peers but the sitting, waiting turns, etc. The fact that your son has been in pre-school for 2 years should help.
Since you're bound to your contract, you probably need to go ahead and send him. But work with the school and teacher (if you can...sometimes private schools aren't accommodating to children who need a little extra) to help him make friends and adjust. Getting him involved in other activities such as Scouting, recreational sports, etc can also help. If you know any of the families of the kids that will be in his class you can arrange play dates to help him create solid friendships for school.
