AboutCathy Bailey Expertise I can answer questions on dealing with the difficult behavior of babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school children and teenagers.
I can also help with issues such as bed wetting, head lice, thumb sucking and other childhood concerns.
I can offer advice on children and homework, communicating with your child’s teacher and coping with bullying, amongst other school issues.
If there is a parenting issue I can’t answer, I am honest about it, and try my best to refer the questioner to somewhere where they can find an answer.
I am the author of www.parents-in-a-pickle.com a website dedicated to helping parents deal with challenging and difficult behavior.
Experience I am a mother of two boys, aged 13 and 7. My husband and I have fostered various children and we have adopted one (the 7 year old).
I have been a teacher since 1991, both in secondary schools, and now in a primary school.
I have run various language clubs in nurseries, teaching French and Spanish through games, songs and other fun activities.
Education/Credentials I have a BA Honors Degree from London University in French and Spanish, and a P.G.C.E. (teaching qualification) from Cambridge University.
Expert: Cathy Bailey Date: 6/11/2008 Subject: 6 year old grandson
Question My 6 year old grandson behaves very well at our home and at his Dad's home. His dad has full custody. His mother sees his every other weekend. He doesn't behave as well at his mother's home. Since starting Kindergarten, he has gotten into trouble at least once a week. Most talking during reading time, backtalking to teachers, not sitting still. He does well in school. More serious things he has done are shooting the middle finger (where he picked that up, i don't know) at a teacher. Playing too rough with classmates (we were told he put his hands around a child's neck). In kindergarten, there were two other children that he played with and got into trouble with. What can we do to have him show respect to his teachers. We ground him to his room on days he misbehaves. He is not allowed to stay with us. Please help, we all want to help him while he is young.
Answer Hi Rosa
It's always a problem when children misbehave for others. To a certain extent it is necessary to try not to worry and let them deal with it, as whoever is responsible for him at the time needs to act straight away to prevent the bad behavior.
Having said that, parents (and grandparents) also have to make it clear that they do not approve of the bad behavior and need to share in the task of getting the message across.
I suggest a behavior chart which can stay in the place where he lives but all who look after him are aware of it and can contribute. You can download a free behavior chart from my website: http://www.parents-in-a-pickle.com/free-behavior-charts.html
You need to think of a really special treat that he would love for him to look forward to at the weekend, such as a meal out in a favorite restaurant, a friend round to play or something else along those lines. Give him 2 or 3 specific behavior targets, such as being polite to all teachers, and fill in the chart accordingly.
If he is successful he can receive the treat, if not, start again the next week. No need to punish him as not receiving the treat is punishment enough.
Behavior charts work very well and are worth persevering with as not all children respond straight away.
Above all, try not to worry too much. With his parents separated, he needs your love and support, and it sounds as if he is very lucky to have you!
