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About Angie Wilcock
Expertise
I have been a classroom primary (elementary) teacher for more than 20 years, mostly with senior students. I now run my own business, High Hopes Educational Services, working with parents and their children (and sometimes teachers) on a range of issues such as transition from primary to high school; organisational skills; time management; understanding learning styles to assist with effective study and work routines at home; prioritising tasks; developing a balance between work and play; how to 'get started' on writing that essay or assignment!

Experience
20 years of classroom teaching experience; in 2006, based on an enormous amount of research and practical experience (some of it with my own teenage boys!), I set about developing a series of programs of information and support for parents who want to both assist and monitor their child's progress. I prefer to regard these programs as tools of empowerment for parents and their children - skills for school AND life!

Organizations
TED; LinkedIn; Community Builders NSW; Our Community; YouthGas

Publications
My biography (under maiden name of 'Cook') appears in 'Who's Who of Australian Women' (1982), 'The World Who's Who of Women' (1986) and 'Debrett's Handbook of Australia' (Bicentennial Edition 1988). My article "Coping With High School - a Transition for Students and Parents" was published in the Primary and Middle Years Educator Journal (Australian Curriculum Studies Association), August 2007 and P&C Journal, Term 3 issue, 2007

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Sydney (English and Education majors); Diploma in Education (Sydney Teacher's College)

Awards and Honors
University of Sydney 'Blue'(for track and field); a variety of sporting awards (both State and National)

You are here: Experts > Parenting/Family > Parenting of K-6 Children > Parenting K-6 Kids > 6yo easily frustrated and then quits activities

Parenting K-6 Kids - 6yo easily frustrated and then quits activities

Expert: Angie Wilcock - 11/1/2009

Question
My 6 yo son has always seemed to hesitate before trying anything new. When he was in preschool he refused to participate in a lot of activities. He's now somewhat better at participating but if he struggles with the activity or can't do it right away he becomes frustrated and refuses to continue. I've tried giving him pep talks about how it doesn't matter if you can't do something, that the important thing is to just keep trying but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. Is there a way to help him not get so easily frustrated? I really don't want him to grow up wanting to quit anything that is difficult for him. He has been a late developer and has had help with speech and OT since a toddler.

Thank you

Answer
Dear Laura,

Being a late developer may be more of a factor in your son seeming to 'quit' on things than an attitude issue. It's amazing how perceptive kids are - even at 6 he would be aware that others in his pre-school, and now at school, can do some things more easily than he can. Possibly for this reason he doesn't want to set himself up for failure or ridicule - particularly if he thinks it SHOULD be a simple task. The more difficult he perceives the task to be, the less likely he is to want to have a go.

I think your chats with him, encouraging him to try rather than give up or not try at all, are important - and I think you should still continue to be positive with him whenever possible. However, it is important for HIM to see that he is achieving, so you need to be especially vigilant in making sure you notice, and praise, even the smallest task completed or achieved - even if it seems that the task is something really simple. For a child who has experienced some developmental delays either physically or with learning, the smallest achievement to an 'average' child can be quite a milestone to a child who has struggled to get there.

Probably the best advice is to keep doing what you are doing by encouraging him - but don't show frustration or despondency if he doesn't attempt or doesn't achieve. If he feels he is letting YOU down, he probably won't even bother trying. He wants to achieve, he is just not confident or mature enough yet to realise that failure is NOT the end of the world. Give him 'easy' tasks at home - ones you KNOW he can achieve quite comfortably and give him heaps of praise when he does it. This should help to give him the confidence to have a go at other things and, over a period of time, he will be prepared to test himself a little more.

Patience, time and maturity - keep reminding yourself of these important factors and he will get there - doesn't matter how long it takes (he is only 6) as long as he knows he has YOU on his 'team' he will keep trying.

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