Parenting K-6 Kids/Grandson

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Question
My g son is four almost five from divorced parents when he was two split custody he is with us grandma  dad granddad and brother 47 percent of the time mostly he is a good kid but lately he has started sneaking up and hitting his grand mother in the back and every time his mother comes to pick him up he smacks her in the back  or tackles her from behind now he is also doing this to his  grandmother then laughing about so far we the grand parents have done the time out thing and talking firmly that this not allowed in our house  and giving him the evil. Eye look which bothers him the most buthe continues to do this  we can understand with his mother because she is mostly a tramp and he gets tried of being hauled around but can not figure out why he does it to his loving gmother

Answer
Hello Rob,

This is a learned behavior, which can be unlearned as well. He is only 4 years(almost 5)You  may try sitting him down explaining that not only should he not smack his grandmother on her back, but he is not to hit anyone.( Including his mother) You can explain that this type of behavior is unacceptable, that it is not funny, that it makes you and grandma sad when you see him putting his hands on his grandmother except to show her love.

I am sure he gets a response when he smacks his grandmother on her back. You may want to not make a big deal out of it(Attention getting on his part.)This may take a few weeks to work. Have everyone to ignore(look away no comments) this behavior except the grandmother.

The more attention and responses he gets the more he will continue the behavior. Have grandmother handle the situation by getting at eye level with her grandson and stating firmly. "You may not smack me on my back or anywhere else, that is rude and makes grandma unhappy please do not do that again" If you do then I will.....You decide what the consequences will be. ( Remember time out should be for five minutes based upon his age)

I agree he  is going through a lot right now and  needs a little extra attention and loving, but should not be allowed to be rude.
I hope this was helpful. Please feel free to contact me again if you need to.
Dr. Swaby  

Parenting K-6 Kids

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Dr. Mabel J. Swaby

Expertise

I can answer questions about Pre-K 5th grade. How to listen and talk to your child.Discipline that makes sense and much, how to understand your childs behavior and more. I am able to answer questions about teens,as well I have worked sucessfully with teens in foster care and a teen center, I have a great understanding of teens behavior.

Experience

I am retired teacher.(2005)and administrator. I am a Court Appointed Special Advocate(CASA) with the Juvenile Court for the past 6 years. Working with children and teens in foster care. I am a S.T.E.P.( Systematic Training For Effective Parenting) Parent Educator, and I am preparing to conduct workshops in my community.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Early Childhood Education/Certification in instructional Leadership Court Appointed Special Advocate(CASA) (Volunteer) S.T.E.P Parent Educator/Leader-(Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) Parent-Aide Oasis Counseling Center

Awards and Honors
Teacher of the Year Judical Commendation Award from the Juvenile Court

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