Parenting K-6 Kids/6yr old girl


hello !
my daughter is 6 years old and starting big school next year (we live in South Africa)
while she is generally a good kid we have been having a few problems lately and i dont really know how to move forward.
she is cheeky and rude and obnoxious (!) to the point of embarrasing to almost all adults around her.

i think its normal and age appropriate behaviour but i dont want to let it go without some consequences for her.
i have used hot sauce in her mouth more than once and while it seems to work well, my friends are horrified !
any other suggestions please - i would love some ideas that i can choose which will work best for our family.

thanks !

Hi, Donna. Parenting has its challenges, doesn't it??

I'm an art expert, not behavior, but I'll give you my thoughts as a parent and educator.

First, never use such tactics as hot sauce or soap. This teaches a child to see violence and aggression as a way to solve problems. Have you had a heart to heart talk? I'm sure she is feeling the pressure of Big School. This might be time for taking her out on a special date to do something nice like whatever she loves... swimming, play at the park, a movie,buy an icecream cone, whatever she enjoys. During this time, talk gently and openly about her feelings. Sounds like she needs to feel secure and right now she is not feeling that.

You can also have consequences to a definite behavior that you and she have agreed is not ok, like mouthing off to an adult. When this happens, she will have to do a chore or write an apology note or something that gets her attention.

Right now the most important thing you can do is tell her what is appropriate and what is not, give her a definite consequence (she might be the one to suggest the are good at that!), and this consequence is for a definite behavior such as being rude to an adult. Then give her some special time, time to feel secure, and always time to talk about her feelings about approaching school which I tend to think is the main problem. Moving to big school is scary.

You also might go to the big school and look around, play on the playground, get to know where the bus stops or whatever things are involved. Practice packing a lunch if that will be part of the new routine Find out what friends are going there and set up some play times with those friends.

I hope these ideas help.
MaryAnn Kohl

Parenting K-6 Kids

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MaryAnn F. Kohl


Art for children and how to bring creative art into your home... easily... without too much mess.


Former teacher, now an author of books about art since 1985... writing my twentieth book now... all my books are about creative art experiences using materials found commonly in the home.

Parenting, Fisher Price, Scholastic, Donna's Day, Disney, and others

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