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Parenting K-6 Kids/5yr old attitude and not listening at all


A bit of background: My daughter turns 5 on Feb 9th. She has a younger sister (2.5yrs old). Her father and I are happily married. He travels a lot for work leaving me a single working mom 5 days a week.

I am a disorganized person and am always rushing. (Rushing out the door in the morning getting both kids off to daycare so I can make it to work, rushing to get dinner on the table with two whining kids who just ask for snacks and drinks while I'm cooking, rushing to get them to bed only 1 1/2 hours after we arrive home each weeknight. Etc)
I do not like this about myself but I think it's all harder on me when my kids don't listen to anything I ask them to do. Especially the almost 5 yr old.  

I ask her to get dressed in the morning, get her boots and coat on, go upstairs and wait for me for bath time, etc etc. Every time I ask her to do something she whines. And whines and whines and doesn't do it. She will either ignore me, say she needs my help with the task (even simple), or stall and stall "I just have one more thing to say!"

I have tried disciplining (when I say "go to your room" or "go to time out" it's a fight and I have to carry her there) I've tried taking away things she likes (iPad, barbies etc) I've tried telling (which doesn't ever work but I do it out of frustration  and she gets upset) I've tried talking and asking calmly.

It takes her 20 mins I. The morning to get her cost and boots on and just as long to get Pjs on. I have her younger sister to get ready too. And do it on my own. Always rushed. Even if I have everything ready to go and I am all organized the night before, we get behind when she never listens to what I tell her to do. Ever. never without a big fuss. And the whining. I can't take the whining anymore. lol


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Hi Mandy,
I can empathize with you!  I think every mother feels the same way at some point.  I know I did and I agree the whining is what can bring us to the breaking point.  We need to remember we are dealing with children and they want to please us.  Because they are children, they forget and need reminding and repetition.  Unlike, potty training her body doesn't demand she pay attention, so getting dressed in the morning and doing the required tasks begets distractions and forgetfulness.  It is the nature of the beast until we can find what motivates the child to remember and do.  I had child who felt the same way, but at night.  He didn't want to get undressed or sleep in his bed because he "just wanted to wake up, go eat, and watch tv!"  Otherwise, he had to get dressed, make his your rules...  We had this discussion every day until I was blue in the face.  I discovered an amazing parenting app that works nearly every time and gets happy obedience and eliminates the whining all together.  I named it The Happy Face Token System, because I wanted a happy face and a happy family and I didn't have that.  Within 2 weeks I began getting comments like, thanks mom, you're the best mom in the whole world.  He was doing just what I wanted and more.  Then he could use the tokens he earned to pay for the right to do just what he wanted.  He actually paid 35 tokens to sleep on top of his bed, with his clothes on as often as he could earn the tokens (until he was in Jr. High!)He loved this program and we used variations of it throughout high school.  This program is so adaptable to the needs of the parent and the growth patterns of the children that I have written a book called:  From Combat Zone to Love at Home..The Happy Face Token System with all the variations I found effective and used regularly.  It is the most comprehensive program I know of.  I guarantee your success (library bound only) within 30 days and you will soon find JOY in your JOurneY of motherhood again.  I sell the E-book in .pdf format on the web.  Right now, there is a $10 savings.  It is normally $25.  I will give you the link and you can investigate my other web sites for more information.  I guarantee this program to be MOM-TESTED, for happy, simple execution according to your needs, moods, and frustrations.
Good luck!

Parenting K-6 Kids

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Debbie Preece


As a frustrated mom with high-strung and strong-willed children, I began feeling the extraordinary pressure of raising children. I had lost the joy in Motherhood. I realized I didn't have the coping skills or the tools necessary to be a happy mommy, but rather felt I was in the Combat Zone with missiles of sarcasm and anti-mom protests falling all around me! I was ready to call it quits when out of frustrated desperation, I knelt in prayer to ask for help one last time. What resulted was a life-changing experience that brought happy faces to all in the family. I began feeling success in raising my children and joy in Motherhood. Within two weeks, they began calling me: The best Mom in the whole world! After all the children were raised, I wrote From Combat Zone to Love at Home: The Happy Face Token System. This is a Kid-Tested, Mom-Approved discipline, self-motivation, and character development family program that has helped frustrated parents worldwide for 25 years. I call it the ultimate parenting survival manual for frustrated parents and it comes with a parenting survival kit CD with print ready charts as well as a parenting class that discusses the book and program.


As I made beds and fixed meals for the most wonderful family in the whole world, I honestly expected the "golden rule" to work. I fully expected the children to say, thanks for making my bed, what can I do for you?! Instead, it seemed to create a combat zone of thoughtless, selfish and demanding children. Who were these insurgents infiltrating my happy mother domicile? What was I doing wrong? I wanted to find my foxhole and hide. After heavenly intervention, The Happy Face Token System resulted in 1983. It was a new battle plan that virtually guaranteed my survival and that of my family. This simple, but counterintuitive family plan seemed to work as I needed it to, according to my moods, while providing a built-in consistency factor. Within two weeks,a truce had been accepted as the children gave willing, first-time compliance with this most remarkable interactive parenting tool. Happy children responded with; "What can I do for you Mommy? May I set the table? You’re the BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"

Cub Scouts, church groups, community service, has served as a Brownie and Girl Scout leader.

Publications review: "When I read in the book that Debbie's children would say things like, "You're the best Mommy in the whole world!" I, quite frankly, did not believe that would EVER happen for me. Well, I was definitely wrong. It has happened many times already and I look forward to many more!I'm more relaxed in my roles and duty as Mama and have begun to truly love being a Mom! I'm a homeschooling Mama, too... and I no longer desire time alone as I used to. I would prefer to be among my children than anywhere else I can think of! This is probably not completely a result of the book, but the book and the principles I have applied from it with my children are certainly helping me make quantum leaps in my own development and in teaching/character training of my children! Tori F 5.0 out of 5 stars Risk Free Way to Peace, September 19, 2011 By WomanNShoe - See all my reviews This review is from: From Combat Zone to Love At Home: The Happy Face Token System (Paperback) We really loved using the token system and it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm the mom of 7 with 6 children still living at home. This system has been a huge blessing in curbing arguments and slothfulness. The earning of tokens help children work towards a goal and feel a sense of accomplishment by achievement. We used poker chips with each color representing a different value. There is a list posted on our family bulletin board with some of the redemption rewards and their token values. Now for Easter egg hunts, the children ask if we can hunt for tokens instead of candy. It's also very helpful in our homeschooling memorization. Tokens are earned for certain goals reached. With a risk-free guarantee, I don't know why anybody wouldn't try it. Consistency is the key. Thanks so much for helping keep peace in our home!! :)

REVIEW: If we are to take the Lord God as our model in raising children, then the implication is that we should also provide appropriate rewards. I have never wanted to "bribe" our children into compliance, so I found the following excerpt from Debbie Preece's book very interesting: She notes that: ". . . according to Webster's Dictionary a bribe is: 'Anything especially money-given or promised to induce a person to do something illegal or wrong.' . . . Webster's defines a blessing as, 'The gift of divine favor. Anything that gives happiness or prevents misfortune.' This book is packed with fun ideas like "The Slothful Servant Quarantine," as well as practical charts and ideas. Altogether a very valuable resource to aid you in child training and setting up and enforcing chores. Lorrie Flem, Editor of TEACH Magazine. author's note: The SLOTHFUL SERVANT ROOM QUARANTINE is designed for ages 8-18. This provides a simple and effective way to get children to clean their rooms to your specifics. They can't use the room until the QUARANTINE is taken down by you. Psychologists refer to this type of reward system as "A Token Economy" or tokenomics as I like to say. It provides a positive, happy experience for compliance and a negative experience, that of losing tokens, when ignored. I like to call it raising children with the "Economy of Heaven!"

Awards and Honors
HAPPY PARENT AWARD EDUCATIONAL CLEARING HOUSE "With From Combat Zone To Love At Home, the weight is off of your shoulders, because the program sets the rules of the game in place." OUTSTANDING PRODUCT FOR OUTSTANDING RESULTS."For very little out of the pocket expense, you can gain some order and peace in your home. All of the charts, tokens etc. are all included in the book... Full instructions are included on the tape, she walks you thru it, in its entirety." Lorrie Flem, Editor of TEACH Magazine:Chore and Behavior Systems-SUPERIOR PRODUCT RATING "I have long been engrossed in trying to find the perfect chore and behavior system for my family to use. This illusive system must be easy to implement, inexpensive, appealing to mother and children, and of course, effective. FROM COMBAT ZONE TO LOVE AT HOME is one of my favorites."

Past/Present Clients
I am LOVING From Combat Zone to Love at Home! We have begun to implement it & are awe-struck by the results we're already receiving. My almost-9-year-old son is motivated toward goals (of wii time, in particular) like never before, and we love the idea of blessing our kids rather than always "being on them." Where Accountable Kids failed us, though, this fills in the gap. Where Celebrate Calm gave us the guilt about our yelling voices, you gave us the solution to move from that to blessings. Sheesh, I cannot say enough about the system's effect on our family. Lisa REVIEW:We really loved using the token system and it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm the mom of 7 with 6 children still living at home. This system has been a huge blessing in curbing arguments and slothfulness. With a risk-free guarantee, I don't know why anybody wouldn't try it. Try using plastic gold or multi-colored coins for tokens. They are fun and sold at her store. REVIEW: I've just begun listening to your seminar and also reading your book about your Wonderful system. My spirit quickened when you talked about the analogy of the Garden of Eden. I'm excited to think that perhaps I've found system that might actually work! I too have tried everything I can think of to achieve the results you talk about. JM,OK REVIEW:At first I wasn't sure I needed this book, but it turns out this book teaches me to mimic the Economy of Heaven in dealing with my children and, by so doing, enjoy consistently good behavior in my children whose behavior will spring from happy hearts! This book IS and has been a heaven-sent gift to me. It has blessed me in my Motherhood... and my life!!! I'm so very thankful!!! VF-FL

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