AboutEvelyn Petersen Expertise I`ve been a weekly parenting columnist for the Knight Ridder papers for 18 years and have answered hundreds of parent questions on at least 200 different topics, most of which related to educational, behavioral and family issues. I`m also a mom, grandmom and author of 7 parenting books. My advice is practical, direct, and positive.
Experience My experience as a mother and grandmother is just as important as my 40 years in the field of education. My degrees are in Child and Family Life and Education. I've taught in settings from preschool centers to family homes, and from private and public schools to college classrooms. I'm also an active consultant for Head Start and other early childhood programs.
Organizations National Assn. for the Education of Young Children
Assn. for Childhood Education International
National Federation of Press Women
Publications Weekkly parenting columns in the Knight Ridder papers and Wire Service from 1984 to present
Author of eight books: "A Practical Guide to Early Childhood Planning" and "A Practical Guide to Early Childhood Curriculum, Second Ed" Allyn & Bacon; "Growing Happy Kids", "Growing Creative Kids", "Growing Thinking Kids", and "Growing Responsible Kids" McGraw-Hill/Totline imprint; "1,2,3, Blocks" McGraw-Hill/Totline imprint; and "Sams Teach Yourself e-Parenting Today" Macmillan USA. My writing also appears in the Nashville Tennessean, on women.com and on tnpc.com (The National Parenting Center)as well as on my own web site (www.askevelyn.com)and other link-related sites. I am also a regular feature writer for "Children and Families" magazine.
Education/Credentials BA Child Development/Family Life; Purdue University
MA Education (early ed priority); Central Mich. University
Awards and Honors Honored by the Michigan State Legislature and the Michigan Childrens' Trust Fund for the Prevention of Child Abuse for writing that helps to promote positive parenting skills. Winner of several Press Women Awards for various columns. Winner of Parents' Choice Recommended Award for the book "Growing Responsible Kids".
Question I am a single mother of a four year old daughter. 6 months ago we moved back in with my parents to save money for a new house and since then she has been very difficult. She throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way and they sometimes last for over a half hour and she is very clingy to me (If i leave the room she will yell for me until I return). She goes to daycare and behaves well there. She also behaves well for family members. It is basically just for me that she behaves poorly. I try to be more strict and consistent, but then she throws a fit and disrupts the whole household. This angers my parents and my father thinks she needs counseling. we will be moving in about a month. Do you think this sounds like behavior that needs counseling or just a spoiled four year old. What can you suggest to help? Are their some parenting books you could recommend?
Thanks in advance
Answer Dear Carrie,
I am so glad you are moving in a month..this problem is probably due to her anxiety about the situation and not feeling that she has her own place and space with you. She needs reassurance that you will have a place together soon and she will have room and space for her own things.
Get her a calendar and mark off the days as you get closer to the move date. Reassure her that this will be a really good thing for her. If you know where you will move, take her to see it or at least take photos for her to see.
Explain that until you do move, she needs to help out by cooperating and by not having temper tanturms. Ask her to pretend that this is something like being on a field trip and visiting at grandma's house. Remind her of the house rules here, and include in these rules the need to behave like she does at school or on a field trip.
Be firm but loving and be consistent. Ask her to figure out with you how she can calm herself down so she does not have a temper fit. Ask her with genuine sincerity if it would it be a good idea to go to her room until she calms down? See what she comes up with for ideas, because she needs to learn this self discipline.
Share what you are doing to help correct the situation with your parents and get their cooperation. Explain your child's anxiety and get them to help. You all need to expect the best of her, not the worst. Expecting the best will present her with an attitude and atmosphere that will aid her to develop self control. Expecting the worst will give you the worst. Evelyn www.askevelyn.com
