AboutDebbie Preece Expertise Feeling like a frustrated parent? Learn how to get first-time obedience,cheerfully and happily from children 4-14. Designed for the easy use of Mom and the children keep it going. This Christian author has sold thouands of copies of her remarkable system to battle-weary parents' who are trying desperately to raise children that contribute to a happy family, better society and love of God. She has spoken to standing room only audiences that laugh and cry with her as she shares her insightful discovery of a unique parenting tool that she declares is a gift from God.
http://biblebasedparenting101.com
Experience One desperate night after a very trying day, while raising three children four years apart, Debbie found herself in "Shock" with the behavior of her children and frustrated with her parenting skills. Her home had become a Combat Zone and she was the prisoner! The "Golden Rule" wasn't working. It seemed the more she did for her children, the more selfish and demanding they became.
Teaching internal values like integrity and honesty; as well as, happy mommy and family values, such as, children responding the first time happily and cheerfully were a ‘mission impossible’. The consistency factor on the parenting side was booby trapped by the troops all day long.
That night, after holding up her flag of surrender, she sent an emergency S.O.S. to her commander in chief and a new battle plan was developed that virtually guaranteed her survival and that of her family. What resulted in 1983 was “The Happy Face Token System.” Her sigh of relief (AHH!) could be heard in the form of happy children responding with; "What can I do for you Mommy? May I set the table? You’re the BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" She had gained control of her family and a truce had been accepted with this most remarkable interactive parenting tool. Consistency was a built-in feature of this now “Kid Tested & Mother Approved” INTERACTIVE experience.
http://dissdcourtesy.com
Publications From Combat Zone to Love at Home (book)
http://floridabestmom.com
http://happyfacetokens.com
http://biblebasedparenting101.com
http://dissdcourtesy.com
http://happyfacetokens.home.att.net
Education/Credentials REVIEW:If we are to take the Lord God as our model in raising children, then the implication is that we should also provide appropriate rewards. I have never wanted to "bribe" our children into compliance, so I found the following excerpt from Debbie Preece's book very interesting: She notes that: ". . . according to Webster's Dictionary a bribe is: 'Anything especially money-given or promised to induce a person to do something illegal or wrong.' . . . Webster's defines a blessing as, 'The gift of divine favor. Anything that gives happiness or prevents misfortune.' This book is packed with fun ideas like "The Slothful Servant Quarantine," as well as practical charts and ideas. Altogether a very valuable resource to aid you in child training and setting up and enforcing chores. Lorrie Flem, Editor of TEACH Magazine
author's note:The SLOTHFUL SERVANT ROOM QUARANTINE is designed for ages 8-18. This provides a simple and effective way to get children to clean their rooms to your specifics. They can't use the room until the QUARANTINE is taken down by you.
Awards and Honors HAPPY PARENT AWARD
EDUCATIONAL CLEARING HOUSE "With From Combat Zone To Love At Home, the weight is off of your shoulders, because the program sets the rules of the game in place. OUTSTANDING PRODUCT FOR OUTSTANDING RESULTS."For very little out of the pocket expense, you can gain some order and peace in your home. All of the charts, tokens etc. are all included in the book... Full instructions are included on the tape, she walks you thru it, in it's entirety.
Lorrie Flem, Editor of TEACH Magazine:Chore and Behavior Systems-SUPERIOR PRODUCT RATING
"I have long been engrossed in trying to find the perfect chore and behavior system for my family to use. This illusive system must be easy to implement, inexpensive, appealing to mother and children, and of course, effective. FROM COMBAT ZONE TO LOVE AT HOME is one of my favorites."
Past/Present Clients REVIEW: I've just begun listening to the audio tape of your seminar and also reading your book about your Wonderful system. I'm excited to think that perhaps I've found system that might actually work! I too have tried everything I can think of to achieve the results you talk about. My spirit quickened when you talked about the analogy of the Garden of Eden and I'm anxious to get started. Sincerely and gratefully, Julie M Oklahoma City, OK,
REVIEW: I am so excited about your book. My sister in law brought it on our family camp out and in the four days we were there I read it twice and discussed it heavily with my husband. We are ready to get started. We started trying to use the system while we were camping and the change in our children was incredible. Michelle G. Phoenix, AZ
Question My daughter from the start of 4th grade (about 6 weeks ago) is fighting doing her homework. In previous years she has as well but to a much much lesser degree.
This year I'm at my wits end. I'm yelling and shouldn't be...I'm threatening...I hate the person I'm becoming...I know there has to be a more positive way to go about this...I don't want this year to ruin her school experience for the rest of the years she will be going...I want her to love school and want to go to college.
Withholding the things she likes only gets the response "I don't care". We just took away her favorite...Littlest Pet Shop stuff. She didn't care! She digs in and becomes even more stubborn...crumpling paper...ripping out pages of her notebook...erasing till the paper rips...ripping up a page that is almost complete if I point out an error. I've even tried removing myself from the situation when this happens in the hopes that if I don't react and i won't be with her when she is being so angry she will give it up. But she sure can last a long time. Then it becomes so late and finally she does the work and does it correctly...and this is the area she fights us the most on.
She will drag her feet to do chores or go to bed but not excessively. Those rebellions seem to be more in line with typical child behavior. A short period of dragging feet and then cooperation without having to use threats of losing something is the typical outcome.
She has alway done fairly well in school getting a mixture of B's and A's consistently through out the year with A's in Math and Science. Also, she has turned all assignments in on time. But I have also always been actively involved with her and her school work.
I would encounter some uncooperativeness over those previous years but we've always got through it with a lot less confrontation.
Probably that was the red flag all along and I ignored it. She did end the 3rd grade slightly below where she should have been in reading but all other subjects she got solid grades in. She always complained when we did reading. This summer we sent her to a Reading Workshop. She went to it without complaining and did the work and her final accessment showed she had improved. But it sure didn't seem to create love of reading in her which was one of the goals.
This school year's first progress report out the gate shows her at C level even in her beloved subjects? In fact she even was willing to forgo recess because she failed to return her progress report the day after she was to show it to us. Which she had not. As you can see she is very willing to make great sacrifices and endure confrontation as she loves recess and plays very hard during it.
This is how bad it is....she attends Horse Camp each summmer....she loves horses more then life itself...I got the idea to try to motivate her by having her earn the Camp by assigning it's value at 400 points as it cost $400 to attend. I tried to turn it into a game. I made a chart givng points that could be earned for doing homework in a positive way...putting her assignments in her planner...bringing home all things needed for homework...completeing all that is assigned...getting 100% on spelling tests...also points for getting only one wrong...you get the point. I made it very doable with it being fairly easy for her to earn the points with many opportunities to earn points. She didn't buy into it one bit. She was upset and cried and asked me not to do it. But in the end she would not participate and said she would stay home from Horse Camp!
She is in a stable loving 2 parent family with parents that have been married 14 years with a 5 year old brother. Also, she has a very loving involved extended family who thinks she's the best and tells her so often! We have lots of hugs and kisses and I love you's in our family. Plus lots of attention and togetherness time. Now we have too many "I'm sorry Mom or Dad" because of these school battles. For she is always "sorry" afterwards.
Other then the exhausting school issue she is happy and energetic...very loving...sure we have the typical ups and downs and disagreements that all families have that are trying to do right by there kids. She most of the time is eager to help, goes to school willingly...loves to share knowledge she gets from Animal Kingdom and Science shows...shows couriosity about our world in general... also she always asking questions about things. She also does activities, has many interests, hangs out with the family and has friends of all ages. She makes friends easily, enters into new social situations easily....she has always loved her teachers and cooperated with them doing what they ask of her. Her teachers have always said how much they love her! They love her smile, her hugs, how kind she is to others, her happy dispositon...her eagerness to learn...how well she cooperates. She tells us she loves her new teacher as well.
It is the first time she has had a male. His previous assignment was in the 7th grade and I've noticed that he seems to run his class in a way to encourage them to be more independently responsible for their school work habits. Which should be a good thing.
For example he tells them to do their homework independently and to read to themselves and that they will check their homework together in the morning.
She took it to mean I don't need to reveiw it after she did it. She became very angry when I did. She said, when I pointed out areas that needed to be corrected or done over, that that wasn't what her Teacher said to do. We get a lot of "that is not what the teacher said".
So I didn't review homework for a couple of days and then did a surprise check one morning and found it was incomplete and some were wrong. Talk about fireworks over that one. Now she is being even more sneaky and outright lieing about homework assignments. She doesn't bring home everything she needs even though the teacher puts it on the board and it is manditory for them to write it in their Planner. Sometimes she even writes it in the Planner and still doesn't bring it home. I think I will scream if I hear "I forgot" one more time!
She doesn't seem to care that we catch her at the lies as we are now monitoring all her school work. So she knows we will find out the truth.
I've talked to the teacher about my concerns ...he remarked he was excactly the same way as a student?....he also said he would have a talk with her...which he did...but it is almost as if with my daughter that once she hears the instructions...in her Black and White way..... there is no modification or further clarification that is allowed.
I know this has to be about something...for it has to be exhausting for her as well! Why would a person put themselves through this pain and suffering if there wasn't.
Help! Any ideas?
Thanks!
Answer Hi Julie,
I developed the Happy FAce Token System for my daughter in the 5th grade. Homework became more time consuming and no time to "play". She exhibited much the same problems. The Happy Face Token System works best for difficult issues and gives very positive feedback to both the mom and the child.
You give rewards she wants like, ride horses, sleeping in her favorite sleeping bag anywhere she wants, NOT doing the dishes...(The things that bug you the most are the things she likes to do) Then you put points by the ones you care about least (5) to the things you really don't want to do very often (100) 100 is the highest number, it's like a million. Then you set the "rules" I want you to be happy and cheerful when I help you with your homework. When you come home, I want you to show me your homework. For every page of homework you let me review and help if necessary, you will get 1 token. For every page you read in a fun book, and tell me what you are reading, I will give you 1 happy face. These things seem simple, but it is amazing how important letting you help as needed will become. And it will be happily and cheerfully. Please check out my book/site and consider these things. I offer a 30 day guarantee and a free parenting tape on the use of this system. http://floridabestmom.com
