About Mona R. Spiegel, Ph.D. Expertise I am a licensed psychologist and professional coach. I have been guiding parents and their children for over 25 years and now specialize in coaching women on the telephone for parenting, relationship and personal life issues.
Experience After receiving my Ph.D. in 1977 from Columbia University, I became licensed in New York State as a psychologist. I worked for many years in schools and subsequently as a private clinician. Most recently, I have received training from a professional coaching institute to provide services on the telephone.
Organizations American Psychological Association
International Coaching Federation
Publications MFC Newsletter and Dr. Mona's blog @ http://www.myfamilycoach.com .
Question My husband and I are arguing about what is appropriate to expect of our 5 and 7 year olds in regards to chores and responsibilities. My husband is under the assumption since they are extremely smart they are capable of and should be responsible for almost everything they do...example....making their bed, cleaning their room, cleaning up entirely after themselves when finished eating (from clearing the table, putting food away and doing dishes). He also expects them to clean up any and all messes by themselves in a quick amount of time(in other words instantly)! Even if their is an accident..spilled milk...he expects them to be up and out of their seat instantly w/out hesitation and to be responsible for the cleanup themselves. I agree there needs to be responsibility for our children. In fact I've set up chore charts but he thinks they should be doing so much more. He tries to say there is nothing wrong with responsibility but I believe it needs to be appropriate for their age and added upon after they conquer the basics. Are there any books, articles or web sites to outline any of this or should we see a counselor before things get more out of control.
Answer Dear Stephanie,
It is easy for differences in parental expectations to cause problems not only for the children but also for the marriage. Your question about seeing a counselor sounds like a good one. There are many parenting books on the market, but none will really address your particular situation. Several sessions by a qualified professional can steer you both in the best direction.
Dr. Mona Spiegel
Psychologist & Coach
www.myfamilycoach.com
