About Mona R. Spiegel, Ph.D. Expertise I am a licensed psychologist and professional coach. I have been guiding parents and their children for over 25 years and now specialize in coaching women on the telephone for parenting, relationship and personal life issues.
Experience After receiving my Ph.D. in 1977 from Columbia University, I became licensed in New York State as a psychologist. I worked for many years in schools and subsequently as a private clinician. Most recently, I have received training from a professional coaching institute to provide services on the telephone.
Organizations American Psychological Association
International Coaching Federation
Publications MFC Newsletter and Dr. Mona's blog @ http://www.myfamilycoach.com .
Question heres the past father left when she was one i was a single mother for about 4 years , she now regularly visits her dad on weekends an he was in her life somewhat before that i have a fiance now hes ben here about a year hes very good with her an she liks him very well,my daughter was not discplined alot when she was little because at 1st she was the first grandchild an my only of course but now we just have a problem of telling her what to do an she doesnt want to do it so shes not going to do it until shes ready , she constantly yells back at me an tells me no,its to the point of i dont know what to do or how to come across this anymore it makes me frustrated with her.heres what happened today we were going to his moms house an she did want to go she was putting her shoes on an i told her i was stopping by the store to grab something really quick on the way up there an that she would sit in the cr with him she got mad wouldnt put her shoes on an said no were not stopping by the store , as i try to get her shoes on shes throwing herself around kicking an screaming an then just throwing a fit , so we didnt go no where any thing u can tell me or help me with would be great.....
Answer Dear Amanda,
You really do have a handful! But, first of all, you need to realize that in order to help your daughter improve her behavior, you first need to work on your relationship with her. For example, see the testimonial on the Parent Coaching page of my website, www.myfamilycoach.com. You will see that a relationship is the foundation for behavior change.
In addition, your efforts need to be consistent and positive. Although I understand your frustration, you and not your child is the one who is capable and therefore responsible.
There are many behavioral tools, such as behavior charts and empathic listening. Read Faber & Mazlish, "How to talk so your children will listen and listen so your children will talk" for communication skills. Read Severe's, "How to behave so your children will, too" for management techniques.
If you need ongoing coaching, contact me at drmona@myfamilycoach.com.
