Expert: Mona R. Spiegel, Ph.D. - 1/1/2007

Question
I have a 5 year old son who will be 6 in June, since the day he was born I noticed very distinctive behavior from him. He refused to take my breast or a pacifier and would scream bloody murder if either were introduced to him. As time went on this behavior has only gotten worse. He did not talk until he was 3 and prior to that he would whine and throw fits and become agitated when he wanted something and we could not figure it out. He has never been a loving or affectionate child and never wanted to be loved on unless it was his call. He was introduced to OT and speech therapy when he was 2 and has been in both ever since. He is attending kindergarten now and his teacher is always making the comment that he requires CLOSE supervision. This is a practice closely followed in our home as well. He has been potty trained since he was 3 1/2 but last year he began to poop in the toilet and instead of calling someone to help him wipe he would put his hand back there and then proceed to wipe the poop all over the toiler, sink, bathtub, and wall. We have tried every discipline (within reason) known to man kind. Recently he has begun to only poop in his underwear (sometimes 5 and 6 times a day) and then dig it out of his underwear and wipe it all over the house. He is strictly defiant, mouthy, he blames everything on someone else (usually his 4 year old sister) he does not focus on anything and has trouble completeing a task we ask of him. He is mean natured and loves to hurt people emotionally and physically. He tells us he loves us litterally 5 or 6 times an hour as we reassure him how much we love him everytime he asks. I am registered nurse specialized in labor and deliver and I have done much research on his behavior. He has every sign and symptom of ADHD and ODD. Our pediatrician has scheduled a behavioral assessment for him and the school board has rendered the services of a behavior specialist. On the other hand I have 2 other children, a 4 year old and a 3 month old. I have been living on prozac for the last 5 years just trying to deal with him. Any advice you can offer me is greatly appreciated.

Answer
Dear Regina,

You are already on the way to getting the help that you need.  It is clear that your son needs a professional assessment, and that you will need psychological expertise to help you cope and raise him.  The sooner the better.  Get a referral from your pediatrician or school counselor for a qualified mental health professional.

All the best,
Dr. Mona Spiegel
"My Family Coach"
www.myfamilycoach.com