Expert: Leslie Truex - 3/25/2007

Question
My son turned 5 in January.  He transitioned to a new daycare in February.  He has been at this daycare before and had to transition back (after a 6 month leave) due to my job change.  He is stable at the daycare and knows the teachers and other students.  He has recently (within the last month) begun wetting in his pants (during nap and playtime) as well as soiling his pants.  When I ask, he says he can not feel the urge to "go #2" and it "feels like diarrhea" when he goes in his pants.  But it is not loose, just sort of grainy (sorry for the description).  As for the wetting, it is a constant, everyday thing.  I try not to get mad or punish, but I do explain that it is not something that I believe he should be doing.  He refuses to tell his teachers if he wets at naptime, therefore when I pick him up (2 hours after he awakens) he is smelly from the dried urine on his clothes.  Should I be concerned of a health problem or does it sound like more of a psychiatric issue?  I know he has many emotional/attachment issues as well, so could they be related?

Answer
Hi Jennifer,
Its not unusual for a child to wet again at 5 years of age. However, you do want to take him to a doctor and make sure its not a medical issue.

Your son is not likely able to tell you what's going on but wetting and soiling can be a sign of some issues. We can't really control how things go in (eating) or come out (wetting) and sometimes kids use these methods to gain control over a world that feels chaotic and unsafe. That doesn't mean it is chaotic or unsafe, it just feels that way. I'm sure you've had times when you felt like things were out of control. Kids don't have good coping mechanisms sometimes. So, I'd find a counselor to help. I'd also send him to school with extra clothes, and ask the teacher to check on him after his nap. I can't imagine a teacher wouldn't notice something like wetting.

Leslie Truex