AboutLeslie Truex Expertise I am a parent of two, but also I'm a social worker with over 15 year experience working with children and families. I can provide many tips and techniques to help with child behavior, interventions for specific behavioral issues, ideas to help children through difficult times such as divorce or grief, hints on keeping the family running smoothly, and tips for developing confident, happy children.
Experience I have a master's in social work and over 15 years experience working with children and families. I have worked in schools, public health, mental health and adoption agencies providing parent education courses and children's groups.
Question Hi Leslie - We are the parents of a beautiful 9 year old boy. Mark is an only child and I had him later in life (47). He is extremely bright but in school can't focus long enough to listen to all the instructions and sometimes just gets part of the job done. He started piano because he expressed an interest, but doesn't want to practice. It's like pulling teeth to get him to practice. He plays hockey (in Ontario most kids grow up on skates) but is non aggressive (which I don't mind) but he also lacks the motivation to try to win. We've noticed this in most of his endeavors - he doesn't try, yet he is so smart. Is there a way I can help motivate him so that he will take an interest in learning/sports/school.
We were thinking that it could be ADD but not feel he is just a normal boy. Another thing that we noticed while on vacation in August is he started shaking his head (tic) and has been doing it almost continuously since then. He says that it is uncontrollable.
I appreciate your comments.
Thanx
Answer Hi Carolyn,
It's not clear to me if the lack of motivation and concentration is a new thing, like the tic or not. However, my advice to you is to get him to a doctor and even a counselor first to rule out any medical issue. You will also want to check for ADD but also depression. You may want to check is vision too. If he's a visual learner and can't see the blackboard at school, it could cause him to have difficulty in class. All this is really important because if he doesn't have medical condition or ADD or depression, then we're talking simply about behavior issues. But if he does have any of these things, he needs to be treated accordingly and often the symptoms will disappear.
I do want to add that you may want to work with him more closely on things that create passion in him. Piano sounds interesting until you discover you have to play scales and no real music. And while hockey is the sport of Canada, perhaps its not his sport. If he is truly just unmotivated, then attempts to find something that nurtures his spirit will be important. If he could do anything all day, what would it be. (Of course you won't let him do that. You just want insight). If he says watch TV or play computer, ask exactly what he'd watch and play. Perhaps there is a theme there that could spark a hobby or club.
Also, does he have friends? Does he go out and play? Would he rather play and be alone than with his peers?
