AboutLeslie Truex Expertise I am a parent of two, but also I'm a social worker with over 15 year experience working with children and families. I can provide many tips and techniques to help with child behavior, interventions for specific behavioral issues, ideas to help children through difficult times such as divorce or grief, hints on keeping the family running smoothly, and tips for developing confident, happy children.
Experience I have a master's in social work and over 15 years experience working with children and families. I have worked in schools, public health, mental health and adoption agencies providing parent education courses and children's groups.
Question My son and 12-year old daughter are with their dad in CO. I recently relocated to CA for work. We are in constant contact and love and miss each other terribly. The issue: Having an 18 and 12-year old daughters, I find my son to be more immature,still very lovey-dovey with me and very much into toys. His dad isn't very demonstrative and is very protective. My son recently had 3 instances in school where he put his hands around another boys throat, spit on a boy, and punched a boy in the throat. The school is demanding he get on medication and my ex took our son to a physician who recommends Daytrana. Neither my ex nor myself want him on medication. I think my son misses me, is mad at his dad for causing problems in our visits and is just acting out his rage when he's around other kids (he doesn't get to play much at home with others). I feel he needs an appropriate outlet and access to activities and kind people, not meds, but is this possible in a Denver suburb with a working father? This behavior is recent and his other behavior is also similar to the girls' where getting them to clean their room or complete their homework assignments was like pulling teeth. Advise please. It's so hard to be so far away and feeling like medication is everyones answer and no one wants to get involved.
Answer Hi Debbie,
I agree that your son needs some sort of intervention, but I'm not convinced medication is it. In fact, if this behavior is new, then medication won't help him with whatever is causing him to behave violently.
Schools are experts in education, but not necessarily on behavior and certainly not in knowing when to medicate a child. Pediatricians are not your best resource for helping your son with an emotional issue. I recommend that your son be taken to a child psychiatrist (who can prescribe and monitor medication if needed) or other child counselor (psychologist, LCSW, etc). These people are trained in assessing child behavior to determine the root cause AND provide your son as well as you and your son's father and even the school, with tips and techniques to help.
I can't say for sure, but my guess is that a counselor's first step (once the assessment is completed) will be to teach your son anger management. And if there are family issues, he/she will likely suggest family counseling. Its my belief that counseling, not medication, is the answer to your son's issues (assuming he doesn't have a medical issue).
