AboutLeslie Truex Expertise I am a parent of two, but also I'm a social worker with over 15 year experience working with children and families. I can provide many tips and techniques to help with child behavior, interventions for specific behavioral issues, ideas to help children through difficult times such as divorce or grief, hints on keeping the family running smoothly, and tips for developing confident, happy children.
Experience I have a master's in social work and over 15 years experience working with children and families. I have worked in schools, public health, mental health and adoption agencies providing parent education courses and children's groups.
Question My boyfriend and i are expecting a baby boy in February. I have a 6 year old son. My boyfriend has a five year old daughter. We are having a problem agreeing on the sleeping arrangements. My son stays with me every monday Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday night. He stays with his dad on the weekends. My boyfriend has his daughter every other weekend and every Wednesday.My son lives with me and visits his dad. My boyfriends daughter lives with her mom and visits my boyfriend. In the end he has his daughter 8 days of the month. I have my son 16 days of the month. My question is who should share a room with the newborn?
Answer Hi Cristy,
Initially, you can keep the baby with you. Since babies get up so much at night, it will be more convenient to have the baby nearby.
I take it that right now each child has their own room. The easy answer to your question is that the baby should sleep with whomever is the same gender. If its a girl, it shares with the daughter and if its a boy it shares with the son.
However, if it is a girl, I would spend time making sure that your boyfriend's daughter has a place that feels like its her place. The room can be decorated in such a way as making it hers. You don't want her feeling like a guest in your home. She needs to feel its her home too.
If its a boy, you can create the same type of place in your son's room.
Perhaps you have been thinking of having the baby in the girl's room regardless as she's not there as much as your son, and your son lives there twice as much (although still only 1/2 a month). But the amount of time each child is with shouldn't be the issue. These are your kids 100 of the time whether they are with you or not. One should not be penalized simply because she's there less. Each should be considered equally. If they both lived with you full time, what would you do? Probably put the same gender kids together, as I suggested.
This is fair and won't have the kids thinking that one is being considered above the other.
Of course, the other option is to get a bigger house and let every one have their own room:)
