About Mona R. Spiegel, Ph.D. Expertise I am a licensed psychologist and professional coach. I have been guiding parents and their children for over 25 years and now specialize in coaching women on the telephone for parenting, relationship and personal life issues.
Experience After receiving my Ph.D. in 1977 from Columbia University, I became licensed in New York State as a psychologist. I worked for many years in schools and subsequently as a private clinician. Most recently, I have received training from a professional coaching institute to provide services on the telephone.
Organizations American Psychological Association
International Coaching Federation
Publications MFC Newsletter and Dr. Mona's blog @ http://www.myfamilycoach.com .
Question I have a nine year daughter who is homeschooled and has been since the beginning. She is active in many activities and has a few "best friends". She has been taught to treat everyone with respect no matter what they look like or how different they are. She is now on a gymnastics team with about 20 others girls from 5-12 and they practice three times a week. The girls can very nasty to her and she is crumbling. I am not sure what to tell her to do but to turn the other cheek. She's a really good gymnast and I would hate to see her give up a dream b/c of nasty comments and a hurt spirit. Over all she is normally over self-confident but the coach said she behaves well. HELP! We have never had this problem any where else before.
Answer It appears that your daughter is encountering some "clique" behavior. Unfortunately this kind of teasing is very common among young girls. Your daughter needs your support, but you cannot solve the problem for her. Empathize with her, but ask her to come up with possible ways of handing the situation. You might also try role-playing as a means of her testing out the various solutions. In the end, we hope that she will find at least a few girls in the group with whom she can bond and find support.
