Expert: Melinda Mantilla - 9/18/2006

Question
We have 8 year old twins (boy and girl), the first week of each school year has been a battle about eating and drinking at school.  This year has been no different in that regard except that it has not stopped. Neither is eating or drinking on a consistent basis. Threats and and promises of rewards (we are pretty good at following through with both) are not working.  Now I am getting worried their health is going to suffer.  Our son has even begun hiding his lunch so we won't know he didn' eat it.  Nothing in our routine or home life or child care arrangements has changed.   They each are allowed to choose and help prepare what they will have for snack and lunch time.  I have an appointment with their teacher later this week to discuss the situation.  Can you give me any suggestions / or information  that I can bring to this meeting.  I know I can't expect the teacher to "police" their lunch bags.

Any help would be appreciated.

Sheila

Answer
Sheila,

Boys and girls will be boys and girls! I would do two things, evaluate their health...do they look underfed? Are they eating at home? Are they getting at least one meal a day? It could be that they just simply are NOT hungry, and you would not want to force them to eat, that would be incredibly unhealthy. My son is three, it is a hit or miss on him eating dinner. With me I couldn't go without eating, but for kids it's totally different.

I would evaluate also if maybe there is a kid at school bullying them, or if it is that they are embarassed about bringing lunch and would prefer to buy it at school.

Either way get to the root of the cause, if they look underfed I would make an appt immediately with the pediatrician, it could be an underlying medical condition that is causing this.

If you find there is no bully, they are eating at least once a day and drinking water and there is no medical condition I would leave it alone for awhile, not making a big issue out of it. See if they don't start eating on their own after awhile, maybe they feel so much pressure they cave and wont' eat at that point. Either way, please update me on the situation!

Melinda