Parenting Stepchildren/Step dad whos mean

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Anon. wrote at 2008-08-25 12:53:53
Hey,



I am a step-child and my step dad is awful. I hate being in the same house never mind the same room. He tells lies about me and constantly doing spiteful things. Him and my mum have a child together and he treats him fine. But when it comes to me and my older brother, it's just disrespect all the time. We just don't get on because of all those factors.



I don't blame your daughter for moving in with her dad. I am 17 myself and would do the same but my Dad has passed away sometime after my mum and he split up.



You need to remember that your other 2 kids came 1st and then he came along. He entered your family, so he has to compensate and change. You have to tell him this, if not, then you are doing wrong to your kids. And, hence proving your daughter right, that he is manipulating you.


Vptanya wrote at 2012-04-08 22:31:41
I feel your pain. I am going through pretty much the same type of thing and have been right from the beginning. That was 6 yrs ago almost


jackie wrote at 2013-12-15 18:12:12
it is called double standerd he has one set of rules for one set of kids and then another set of rules for the other set you need to him that the teenagers are your kids you raised them before he came along and the other two are yours and his and you both need to raise them if they turn out like the other two then he needs to understand teenagers are teenagers  


Parenting Stepchildren

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J.L. Slipak

Expertise

Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own. I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. As I am using this information for research, DO NOT SET YOUR QUESTION TO PRIVATE. I am not your personal counselor. This site is meant to help others in similar situations by being able to read those experiences and seeing my suggestions. I will most likely send your question to the "pool" if you do wish to remain a private emailer in order to allow another expert a chance to address your concerns. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out. I encourage Bioparents to stop fighting with stepparents and start working with them as a team.

Experience

Living with stepchildren is incredibly difficult; being a stepparent has always been sterotyped under the Cinderella persona. The wicked stepmother, overbearing and cruel... Often times, the reality of the situation is completely different. Stepparents are expected to step in when the bioparent steps out, then are criticized and attacked when they try their best to be a good "fill-in" for the bioparent. Stepchildren are often the ones who are cruel and difficult, filled with issues surrounding their bioparent's divorce and resentment towards the "intruder" in their lives. No one truly knows how hard it is to be a stepparent, except another stepparent.

Education/Credentials
BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.

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