AboutLee Brochstein Expertise I can answer all questions on blending families and being a step parent. I can answer questions about discipline, visitation with the step children when you have your own children living with you and having your children visit with half siblings and step children in your spouses home.
Experience I was a step parent to 7 children for 5 years, as well as having two children during that marriage. I am now a step mother to 4 children that live in another state. My children have half siblings as well as step siblings at their father's house.
Education/Credentials Life experience and good common sense.
Expert: Lee Brochstein Date: 5/23/2008 Subject: Stepdaughter
Question My stepdaughter is snotty, moody, somewhat nice, only when she wants to be, certainly not consistent. I have talked with my husband about her manners on several occasions, and I see no change. Supposedly he talks to her about it, I never hear it. I am a nice person. I have tried for the past 4 years to get next to her. I am tired of trying. It hurts me too much. I just want to give up and ignore her like she ignores me. Is that wrong? What do I do? It is beginning to cause a breakdown in my marriage. My heart is aching. What do I do?
Answer Isabella: Sorry for the delay in answering. You are in a common and tough situation, so don't feel bad. It is hard to be a step parent, especially when you are dealing with a child that is clearly resistant to a relationship with you. Don't ignore her, just do what you need to do for her. Back off and just be there. Either she will come around, or you will have to continue to talk to your husband about how to handle the situation. Maybe you need to be there when he does talk to her. You can also try to tell her how you feel, but don't expect anything but disdain. I wish I could give you better ideas, but unless she wants a relationship, you can't make her be a better or nicer person.
