AboutJ.L. Slipak Expertise Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own.
I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out.
Experience
Education/Credentials BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.
Question I have 3 stepchildren ages 37, 33, 30. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and together for 28. We have been taking the adult children and our grandchildren out to breakfast on Sundays for the last 10 years or so. Before that we had them over to our house for lunch on Sunday. A couple of months ago my husband told them that he wouldn't be able to afford to take them out to eat after he retired in a few months and would they like to take turns having breakfast at each others houses. Since then we have had them over for breakfast every couple of weeks but they have not invited us to their house yet and it doesn't look like they are going to. Now I feel foolish that they have not invited us. Also I put my stepchildren in my will last year with equal shares with my brother (I have no children of my own). My husband expected me to do this but since then I really don't feel right about it (especially since they have never seemed to like me or care about me much at all. I have a neice and nephew who do care a lot more about me and now I wish I had put them in my will instead. The will says that everything will go to me and my husband first though so whoever is left will have whatever they need. I know my husband will get very angry if I tell him I want to change my will now, and of course if he dies first I can always change it after he dies, but that doesn't seem honest to me. I would appreciate your suggestions. Thank you.
Answer Hello Darlene,
I understand how torn up you are about not having your husband's children included in the will.
I would suggest you change the will to only give them a certain amount of money and then give the others the rest. That way they are not excluded.
