AboutJ.L. Slipak Expertise Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own.
I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out.
Experience
Education/Credentials BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.
Carrie writes on 2008-07-15 06:51:14
So, she is now living with you. You are now one of her full time parents. I say, yes, acknowledge that you understand that you are not her mother. However, you are her parent. You cannot be her friend. Expect acts of rebellion, respond to them with love, and with discipline. You warned her, explained why the behaviour was unacceptable, now gently inform her of her punishment. I would recommend against speaking to her WITH her father. Counter-intuitive, I know, but she needs to know that you are an independant parent, that her father will back up you parenting decisions. Be sure that the punishment is just and appropriate. Expect her to throw a fit about it.
Then, don't over-analyze. Yeah, she's your STEP-daughter, but she's also just a teenager. She's going to yell and hate you both and rebel and do a million other normal teenage things. Love, compassion, discipline, patience, reason. Tools for all moms, step or no step.
