AboutLana Sen Expertise I can answer questions about issues in blended families, especially about relationship with your partner and with your step children. I would take a practical viewpoint gained from experience, and try to offer a balanced solution. This is by no means like a professional counselling where you pay one week's grocery money for one hour of talking.
But I am human and so are you, I have been where you are, and I have talked with many who are where you are. Therefore I know it is hard to see the light sometimes! The world around does not offer much help, hardly a sensible guide book about 'how to live your life'.
What I offer to you is an understanding heart, and hope that it will help you to feel your way forward.
Experience 40 years of observing Life, listening to intimate and complex relationship issues, 15 years of which are as a mature adult. I discovered that people tend to turn to me when they need advice, and they go away feeling better than when they came in, feeling that they have gained something good or relieved of something bad. I am willing to help, if it relieves some burdens and enlightens some one in the dark.
Education/Credentials Life Education:
- Life University - perpetual student
- Widely traveled in world and in mind
- Aware of different cultures and complex encounters
Traditional Education:
- Bachelor of Science, Computer Engineering
- Master of Arts student, Hospitality
Expert: Lana Sen Date: 6/19/2008 Subject: help with husband who's a guilty dad
Question I've been with my husband for over 8 years and his son is over 8.5 yrs old. We've married for over 4yrs and have a 3 year old. He was never married to the mother. My hubby has had visitation since the boy was 5months. The boy is relatively fine, has a few annoying social anxiety and strange fears but is very good with my girl. It's my husband who has expressed he has anger because his son is over 45 min away, has guilt. When we do have him every other weekend and some weekdays (even when in school) , it's stressful because my hubby spends every second with him. I'm asked to 'be a team player' and help with the traveling; I do it because it relieves my husband of some stress because he travels already with his job. I loose my patience with the son easily because I'm resentful. I just don't know my role and my husband has no parenting skills and my daughter and I get the short end of the stick. I want my husband to have realistic expectations of being a part-time dad and not take his stresses out on us. How can I help him understand that we need him too, just the fact that we live in the same house as he isn't enough.
Answer Dear Terry,
Your situation is unfortunately sad. It would be telling you to do the hard thing: but I would advice you that you have a lot of patience with your husband. Treat the son as the child he is. You can gently coax your husband to go in to family therapy as the hidden issues can be discussed objectively with a third person. Wish you good luck. Let us know how we can help you.
