AboutJ.L. Slipak Expertise Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own.
I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out.
Experience
Education/Credentials BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.
Expert: J.L. Slipak Date: 6/18/2008 Subject: A living nightmare!
Question
My 4 yr. old step son is with me 24/7. I have a in home daycare, and his biological mother is a crack addict. We have full custody, and she has not seen him in way over a year. I also believe that his mother was doing a very heavy drug while pregnant with him. He currently is in a behavioral program at local school. He is driving me crazy, He plays his father against me all the time! I love my husband dearly, but I hate my stepson please help!!!
Answer Hello Lyndsay,
You are frustrated right now. How can anyone "hate" a four year old. What you need to do is get him into a doctor and medically diagnosed. If there are behavior issues, then you need to find out why. A diagnosis will help you with support and respite, depending on where you are located, and medication for the lad to help him cope. You and the lad's father need to work together more so that you are both strong in dealing with this lad's manipulation. Watch his diet. Red and blue dyes affect kids like him drastically and can enhance bad behaviors. An allergy testing wouldn't hurt too. Find out if he is ODD and research this. If you have a direction outlined via a diagnosis, you will then be able to take steps in the proper direction to deal with anything he throws your way. Carrying on blindly will only add to your frustration. Good luck,
