AboutJ.L. Slipak Expertise Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own.
I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out.
Experience
Education/Credentials BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.
Expert: J.L. Slipak Date: 6/13/2008 Subject: How do you no get so upset
Question I have a 14 year old step daughter a couple of years ago we had to move away. Her mother has always told her how bad her dad is even know he is the best dad he is helping raise our 14 year old son.(mine) This child talks to her dad like he is a dog and now she is going around slamming me and my name. I am getting so upset because she is being so ugly she would not even come to see her dad after we got the plane tickets and also had a week in san antino planned. I have 4 kids with her there are only her and the other 14 year old that are underage.I have tried to help her but with the mom in the world I don't think this child has a chance of a normal life.
Answer Hello Tina,
Can't change what we don't have the power to change. As stepparents, we see a lot of behaviors from bios that make our skin crawl, especially how they use their own children to get at their Exs, regardless of how this will harm the child.
Their own bitterness is put first, when it should be the child's well being that they remember while whispering hateful, manipulative things in their ears to exact revenge on the EX.
Just do what you can, but don't keep setting yourself up to be hurt. It's a shame steps don't have more power, because this usage of this girl in such a cruel manner borderlines emotional abuse.
