You are here:

Parenting Stepchildren/Beginning to resent step children

Advertisement


em wrote at 2013-03-02 04:47:53
Only the parents can end visitation and it sounds like dad isn't willing to do that.  To answer your question, yes.  You are absolutely justified to be angry and frustrated!  With your husband, his ex, and the little girl.  So many people like to sugar fluff things by saying she's just a child you can't be angry with her.  Of course you can.  You wouldn't be human not to!  So how do you deal with this?  Put the baby's crib in your bedroom and when dad hears baby scream a few times maybe he'll reconsider creating a separate room.  Don't clean up the little girl's room and ignore her when she whines or does things for attention.  Let her dad deal with it.  It may take time, but eventually he will get tired of her behavior too.  Good luck!  You are normal.


Parenting Stepchildren

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


J.L. Slipak

Expertise

Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own. I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. As I am using this information for research, DO NOT SET YOUR QUESTION TO PRIVATE. I am not your personal counselor. This site is meant to help others in similar situations by being able to read those experiences and seeing my suggestions. I will most likely send your question to the "pool" if you do wish to remain a private emailer in order to allow another expert a chance to address your concerns. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out. I encourage Bioparents to stop fighting with stepparents and start working with them as a team.

Experience

Living with stepchildren is incredibly difficult; being a stepparent has always been sterotyped under the Cinderella persona. The wicked stepmother, overbearing and cruel... Often times, the reality of the situation is completely different. Stepparents are expected to step in when the bioparent steps out, then are criticized and attacked when they try their best to be a good "fill-in" for the bioparent. Stepchildren are often the ones who are cruel and difficult, filled with issues surrounding their bioparent's divorce and resentment towards the "intruder" in their lives. No one truly knows how hard it is to be a stepparent, except another stepparent.

Education/Credentials
BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.