Parenting Stepchildren/stepchildren

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Question
I have been married 4 years my stepson molested my daughter he was 14 she was 11 he has a severe pornography and masturbation addiction. He is not allowed in our home any more because of his refusal to get counseling or deal with any of these problems. His mom enables him by telling him he has done nothing wrong also mom and stepdad are drinking with him. His older sister has become very destructive because we won't let him in our home. He has stated to couselors his only desire to be in our home is to get close to my daughters. He is now almost 18 how can I help him without endangering my daughters.
He has 3 younger siblings who are very torn over whats happened and are struggling to understand the boundaries we have to hold with him.

Answer
My apologies Denise... I had answered your question but I guess my email did not go through so here it is again.

Your first priority as a mother is to protect your daughter from harm. you have done that by keeping your stepson from being in your home. If his siblings are torn over what is happening either they have not been told what has happened or do not believe it.  either way have you talked to them about this situation and let them know why you have set the boundaries that you have.

How can you help him when he refused to be help?  Sometimes the only thing you can do is to let him go until he is ready to change.  You can be supportive of any change he does make but for the safety of your daughter keep him away from her.

How does your husband feel about all of this?

You are doing what you need to do....you are being a responsible parent.  

Rick

Parenting Stepchildren

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Rick Olson

Expertise

As a stepparent of 4 children and a family coach, I can answer questions about the issues that arise in step-parenting including discipline,blended families, boundaries and guidelines.

Experience

I have 18 years as a stepfather, and over three years as a family coach focusing on unifying, strengthening and empowering families.

Publications
My wife and I have written 2 books on Family FUSE Your Family - Family: Unify Strengthen Empower! and Raising Families

Education/Credentials
BA(Recreation Administration) Grad Studies in Urban and Regional Planning and Design Certified as a LifeSuccess Consultant/Coach

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