You are here:

Parenting Stepchildren/conflict with real father

Advertisement


Question
Have you ever had to deal with or k ow if someone who has dealt with a biological father trying to press charges on the step parent for child abuse. The step parent is very much innocent. This is happening to me and I just don't know how to cope with all of this. I know their step father isn't abusive he try so hard to give my children everything they need or want. Now as a couple we are being put through hell

Answer
Hello Samantha - I have heard versions of your situation before. It usually means the biological father was traumatized badly as a young child. and bears major psychological wounds. The wounds can cause many relationship and parenting problems, including reality distortion, anger, jealousy, and resentments. See these:

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm  //  http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm  

http://sfhelp.org/cycle.htm  and  http://sfhelp.org/relate/gwc.htm

I recommend that you and your partner invest time studying this stepfamily article and the others that link from it:  http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm

The best thing I can suggest is that you mates find a family therapist with experience in working with stepfamilies. If these articles bring up further questions, please ask!

Compassionately, Pete  

Parenting Stepchildren

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Peter Gerlach, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about remarriage preparation, stepparenting, stepchild discipline, child visitation, grieving, stepfamily norms and myths, mission statements, stepparent job (role)descriptions, communication skills, loyalty and values conflicts, stepfamily identity problems, common pitfalls, ex mate and relative problems, stepfamily merger and adjustment tasks, name confusions, choosing an effective counselor, resolving money disputes, co-parenting support groups, and the family effects of court (legal) battles. I can`t answer questions about medicine, family law, legal stepchild adoption, or financial planning.

Experience

I have studied and worked with stepfamilies clinically since 1979, and I have been a "step everything" personally. I was invited to be on the board of the Stepfamily Association of America (SAA) by it's founders, Drs. John and Emily Visher; and later was re-invited by president Margory Engle, PhD. For more detail, see this.

Organizations
Former Board member, Stepfamily Association of America (SAA)
National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC)Experts Council

Publications
Hundreds of Web articles on sfhelp.org ; I've uploaded over 150 self-improvement videos on YouTube; and have self-published 6 books. My ad-free Web site offers a unique, practical 7-lesson self-improvement course.

Education/Credentials
Stanford University BSME (1958) George Williams College MSW (1981) Hundreds of post-graduate seminars on a wide variety of "mental health" subjects

Awards and Honors
Hundreds of appreciative emails and comments on my Web site and videos from people all over the world.

Past/Present Clients
I have worked clinically with over 1,000 midwestern divorced and remarried family members, and have had over 800 stepfamily students in various seminars and courses since 1981

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.