Expert: Melanie Dunstan - 6/20/2006

Question
Ok, Off the bat I will tell I am 17 and trying to help a merge a family of 3 kids (5,9,13) all boys from the mother side and Me and my Brother (15).

The Problem is that the stepmother does not realize her children can and do lie.  She always has us blamed for little things and she turns them into a volcano which at the end we end up on the "You are a bad kid" stick.  I am tired of getting blamed and having my father and use take the punches. She needs to make changes in order to make the marriage work.  We have done everything we can do on our side, we taken the blame, we have made changes, we have tried to much to make this work.  

My question is, How do I get her to realize that her children lie? How can I get her to try and make changes for the good of the family?  How can I get her not to favor her kids to a point where it harms my side of the family?

Answer
When you have that answer, let me know.

Seriously, I understand what you are going through.  The only advice I can offer is to keep being honest, keep doing the right thing, no matter what.  The reason her children lie is because she allows it and she's lying to herself.  You can't change people like that.  What you can do is continue being responsible and doing the right thing so that when your dad has to defend you, he can do it honesty, knowing you are doing everything right.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, I do understand.  Just do the best that you can being the best that you can.  Eventually, she'll realize that her children aren't doing the right thing.

Wish I could be more help.