Parenting Stepchildren - Step-Parenting - Parenting/Family

	AllExperts > Parenting Stepchildren
	Search

About J.L. Slipak
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
Over the last 19 years, I have been researching the issue of stepparenting/stepchildren and living life as a blended family. I have 4 stepchildren. I am available to answer any questions regarding parenting a stepchild/stepchildren and will base my answers using my own personal experience with 4 of my own. I'm an advocate for children with special needs and have worked in the legal area of Family Law and Civil Law for 7 years. I'm a published writer of this subject. I have dealt with many issues including: dealing with the biological parent, eating disorders, relationships between siblings, education, access, etc. I can offer support, personal opinions and resources based on research I've used while writing about these subjects. Don't ask me any questions that you have the answers for already. Make sure you include all information pertaining to the question at hand, as I base my answers on what you've sent me. Remember, this is just my opinion and nothing else. As I am using this information for research, DO NOT SET YOUR QUESTION TO PRIVATE. I am not your personal counselor. This site is meant to help others in similar situations by being able to read those experiences and seeing my suggestions. I will most likely send your question to the "pool" if you do wish to remain a private emailer in order to allow another expert a chance to address your concerns. I wish all stepparents great success with their perspective lives. Remember it takes a lot to step in when others have stepped out. I encourage Bioparents to stop fighting with stepparents and start working with them as a team.

Experience
Living with stepchildren is incredibly difficult; being a stepparent has always been sterotyped under the Cinderella persona. The wicked stepmother, overbearing and cruel... Often times, the reality of the situation is completely different. Stepparents are expected to step in when the bioparent steps out, then are criticized and attacked when they try their best to be a good "fill-in" for the bioparent. Stepchildren are often the ones who are cruel and difficult, filled with issues surrounding their bioparent's divorce and resentment towards the "intruder" in their lives. No one truly knows how hard it is to be a stepparent, except another stepparent.

Education/Credentials
BFA, working towards my Masters. Stepparent of 4 stepchildren.Bioparent of two, all inclusive of two special needs children: one down syndrome; the other ODD/ADD.

You are here: Experts > Parenting/Family > Step-Parenting > Parenting Stepchildren

Questions Answered By Expert J.L. Slipak
In Category Parenting Stepchildren

Subject	Date Asked

Finance Acts Different When Mom Not Around?	10/5/2009
Q: I am engaged. My fiance and I have lived together with my two children for a few months. We ... A: This is indeed a difficult place to be. On one hand you want to listen to your child, as it should ...
Older step children	10/5/2009
Q: I am had a lot of people tell me a lot criticizing things I am not looking to get criticized please. ... A: You need to speak to your fiance. Only he can fix this. If he doesn't, then you need to take action ...
stepdad resents stepkids?	10/1/2009
Q: We are a very large blended family with six chidren total, ages 3, 10, 11, 12, 13 and almost 16. My ... A: From the sounds of it, your husband is experiencing "overload" and not liking it one bit. He's taken ...
Step daughter causing misery!	8/12/2009
Q: I need some help! I am married for three years now to a man with kids. First mistake! (I have none ... A: You cannot control that which is not in your power to control. It must be exhausting trying to be in ...
Stepchildren and remarriage issues	8/12/2009
Q: I have been with my husband for three years, he has two girls age 12 and 10, their mother, his ... A: So how much do you get paid being his and his children's maid? Leave. I wouldn't give this group ...
My Ex, My son and I	8/11/2009
Q: This is actually a two-part situation: 1. I am a single mom of a six year old boy. When my son ... A: I'm not sure there is a problem here. I doubt your Ex would gain custody of a child he sees now and ...
Step Mom w/no Bio Children	8/10/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married 7 years and together for 9 years. He has 3 daughters aged 12,14 ... A: This is often typical of what teenage stepchildren do to stepmothers who have virtually raised ...
Fiance's Kids	8/10/2009
Q: My Fiance and I moved in together last year after dating for 6 months and got engaged 6 months after ... A: You are kidding right? You've blended without counseling four children who are virtual strangers to ...
Stepmother problems with 5yr old boy	8/10/2009
Q: My question is what I can do to help my wife have a better relationship with my son. My son is 5 ... A: This would be an excellent time for you and your wife to get into counseling. This could easily be ...
Adult Step Son	8/5/2009
Q: My wife and I will be married 13 years next month (2nd marriage for both of us). She has a 28 year ... A: Today, is the beginning of a new day and life for you and your wife. You both should be rejoicing ...
14 yr old stepson	8/4/2009
Q: My stepson is 14 yrs old and lives with us full time, he still wets the bed nearly every night and ... A: This lad needs counseling and fast. I would also take him to a doctor and find out if there is a ...
I need suggestions for getting bio-mom on track with co-parenting	8/2/2009
Q: I've been (re# married for almost 5 yrs and have a step son and daughter #3daughters of my own-and a ... A: She married a sex offender? There is your grounds to go on with your lives and to keep this woman as ...
adult children living with us	8/1/2009
Q: My adult daughter (who is in school) and her husband (who just finished medical school) are living ... A: I think you should be proud of your daughter and her husband. If they are doing what you say, then I ...
Stepson doesn't know about my existance as his new dad's wife	7/31/2009
Q: I met my husband only 11 months ago. We got married two months ago. Yesterday he told me that he ... A: If he hasn't seen his son in five years, then this could just be exactly what he claims it to be. ...
Stepparenting	7/31/2009
Q: My fiance has not been involved in his daughters life for a little over three years and he has not ... A: Stepparents tend to go overboard with trying to appease their stepchildren in order for them to like ...
Time with Step Children	2/26/2009
Q: I have been a step-mom for about 4 and a half years. When my husband and I first were married, he ... A: I agree with you completely. These are not your two children. You have enough to deal with with ...
What if inlaws get manipulated by angry, adult sd.	2/26/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have a great marriage. Both our first marriages ... A: You do have your hands full. It sounds to me as though you are better off eliminating the headache ...
adult step daughter	2/23/2009
Q: Help me to understand why my 24 year old adult step daughter has such a hold on her grandparents and ... A: Help you to ignore this? I think your husband needs to be a man and speak to his parents about his ...
Husband Refuses to Discipline his Teen Sons	2/23/2009
Q: I'm not sure where to begin. My husband has two sons ages 17 and 18. He allows them freedom to ... A: Well, I think you know what the issues are, and you also know what you would like changed. I also ...
Stepchildren whom I was not aware they exist before we got married.	2/20/2009
Q: I have been married to my husband for 5 years. Two years into our marriage I found out that my hubby ... A: This is quite an unusual situation. Quite frankly I think your husband was very wrong in lying to ...
Dealing with ex-wife's anger over marriage	2/19/2009
Q: I am married to a very wonderful man who has two children from his previous marriage, both boys ages ... A: Insight, I have... Solutions... that will be up to your husband. He can go to court and get a court ...
personal responsibility	2/17/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years now and we own a house together. He has a daughter ... A: Get into counseling both of you and learn to work together as a team instead of against each other ...
Stepchildren	2/16/2009
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I am absolutely head over heels in love with him. He ... A: Unfortunately, you should have resolved this extremely important issue before adding another life to ...
Beginning to resent step children	2/16/2009
Q: I've been with my fiancee for three years. He has a son and daughter from two previous ... A: Frankly,I don't know why you are putting up with this horrible behavior? Personally, I'd end ...
23 year old step-daughter reports everything to her mom	2/16/2009
Q: .. My husband and I are in a dilemma. We have always suspected that his 23 year old daughter ... A: First, I know exactly how you feel as I too had one just like this living in my home for 10 years. ...
The Invisible Wife	2/11/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years and dating/together for 9 years. He has 3 sons ... A: "Get with the program..." Are you kidding me??? I think he needs to dial - "get over yourself and ...
Stepchildren and Spouse	2/9/2009
Q: My spouse is very negative towards my daughter (13) and we have been together 10 years. She is ... A: You seem to know where you are heading and I really have nothing I can say that could help except ...
Stepson	2/9/2009
Q: My husband brought overnight his 10 years old son to move in with us. His mother can not deal with ... A: No it's not selfishness is the least. You need help. A one on one with a counselor will help you ...
behaviour of 5 year old part time step child	2/8/2009
Q: My husband's daughter is 5 and lives with her mother and partner, however the mother has a form of ... A: If you have the child's best interest at heart, I will suggest the following: This child needs to ...
Accepting step children	2/7/2009
Q: I have a sister that has a live in boyfriend. They had a baby boy 9 months ago. She has 2 older ... A: With counseling. Both have to realize that as a parent, they have unique concerns with their ...
stepson's mother	2/6/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and together for 6. My stepson is 6 1/2 and ... A: No I don't believe I misunderstood you. I see nowhere in your letter where your husband hides your ...
stepson's mother	2/5/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and together for 6. My stepson is 6 1/2 and ... A: Hmmm... are you wrong... yes and no. This is not your son, it is theirs. However, if your husband ...
New Relationship	2/3/2009
Q: OK.. Here goes. Both my "boyfriend" and I have been divorced from our previous marriages for over ... A: I am... confused. Why are you telling me this? When the person or persons you need to tell, are ...
Step daughter	2/2/2009
Q: My 18yr lives with us as well. The 17yr had been staying with us every second weekend up until July ... A: When your daughter leaves, turn that room into your office. As for the rest, I'd stay very clear of ...
Step daughter	2/2/2009
Q: I live with a man in a house that we own jointly. We have been together for 4 and 1/2 years. I love ... A: You are kidding right? His daughter is 22, his son is 13 and they are treated like this by their ...
during his visitation my ex works nights	2/2/2009
Q: My ex has visitation every other weekend. He works long, night time hours. to the best of my ... A: You have the right to have a contact number for emergencies. I would insist on one so that you can ...
Step-son may be moving in soon!	1/31/2009
Q: I am a 27 yrs old female, who is engaged to a wonderful man. We're to be married in Sept 09. We have ... A: Listen to your heart. If you ignore it and go into something you are not ready for, then you are ...
kid in shopping cart	1/31/2009
Q: I am 39 years old with no children of my own. I have been dating a man for 1 year who has 3 ... A: Well brace yourself... I think you've all missed the boat here on what the real issue is. You ...
need some help	1/30/2009
Q: I am new to all of this, but am asking for some advice. I am a fairly new step mom to a 7 1/2 year ... A: You need to work this out with your fiance before the new baby comes along. Rules should be equal ...
Are first names disrespectful	1/30/2009
Q: I have been in my current relationship for 2 1/2 years. My boyfriend and I have just started to ... A: I agree, very strange indeed. I would take a good look at the situation and his expectations of your ...
31 year old step daughter	1/29/2009
Q: I have been in a 19 year relationship (married 10) with a man I still love. I have 3 grown up ... A: You don't need me to tell you the answer you already know. It is so unfortunate that this man can't ...
stepson hits and lies	1/29/2009
Q: My stepson hits my son then lies about it. My son is 11 and the stepson is 6. It started in 2007 ... A: It is obvious that you didn't want an opinion to your question but rather someone for you to ...
I have a problem with my stepchild and my husband	1/28/2009
Q: L. I have been married to my husband for 6 years .I have a child from my previous relationship & he ... A: You all need counseling. Your husband needs to support you not fight with you and as for the ...
Ex's New Girlfriend Disciplining our Daughter	1/26/2009
Q: This situation is so complicated it will be difficult to explain. My ex-husband started dating a ... A: Unreasonable? No. However, this is a blended world full of families that have both stepparents and ...
24 yr old step-son responsibilities	1/26/2009
Q: Married a woman 3 years ago with a 21 year old son who was living with a girlfriend's family. They ... A: First off, this 24 year old is an adult. Anywhere else that he would live, would charge him ...
stepson hits and lies	1/25/2009
Q: My stepson hits my son then lies about it. My son is 11 and the stepson is 6. It started in 2007 ... A: Anger management for both boys. Hitting should not be part of any behavior regardless of who did ...
17yr old problem stepson	1/24/2009
Q: My fiance and I have been together 3 years but engaged only 2 months. She has a 14yr old girl ... A: Now hold on a minute... He's 17 and wets the bed???? Wow! There's a red flag for you. I'm going to ...
How to parent 24 year old step-sons	1/23/2009
Q: My husband and I began dating shortly after his twins left for the military in 2003 (he has had ... A: If your husband moved into your home, a home that provided for only two children, why would he ...
Struggling with liking step son	1/23/2009
Q: It is hard to explain my feelings about my step son and I have read and researched the topic of step ... A: Surely, you knew this then before you married? Or was this hidden from you. As for being a ...
Struggling with liking step son	1/21/2009
Q: It is hard to explain my feelings about my step son and I have read and researched the topic of step ... A: Yup, sure do... The problem here isn't the child, it's the grandparents and your partner. ...
Visitation rights of step parents	1/21/2009
Q: My ex-husband remarried in Aug of 2008, to a lady that has 3 children. In November we found out ... A: I would like to believe that the reasoning behind this request would be more to continuing a ...
13yo Step Son Won't Listen In Dangerous Situations	1/20/2009
Q: I have a 13yo defiant, rude, and controlling step son. I have had to learn to ignore him in our ... A: Yes, this is a bad situation all the way around. Your stepson is playing with fire and his dad needs ...
Step-horror	1/20/2009
Q: I admit, I am not the best step mom. However... When my husbands twins come for their visits, things ... A: Quite frankly, if my partner's kids were great when with me at my home and then lied to their biomom ...
Step mothering	1/19/2009
Q: We have been married for 4 and a half years and to be honest they have been awful. I have a step ... A: Yes, I do have some advice. I also lived with a resentful and manipulative, not to mention ...
Hate and recenment towards my stepdaughter	1/19/2009
Q: I have been married for 10 years. My husband has 2 kids from his previous marriage and I have one. ... A: Sure I have lots of advice. My first and foremost, get into counseling. There are many issues here ...
Hard Being Married and raising a step kid	1/18/2009
Q: I have a question I am a 29 year woman that is married to a wonderful man that has a kid that is 10 ... A: One of the adults in this situation needs to act the adult and get this child assessed. If you know ...
Husband doesn't care for stepchild	1/16/2009
Q: I am in a loving relationship with my husband. We have two children together 2 yr and 5 months. I ... A: Well, this lad is not your husband's son. He is in a relationship with you and sadly not your 14 ...
Do not feel connected	1/16/2009
Q: I am a father of a 12 year old daughter and Stepfather of 3 teenage girls. Currently, I am serving ... A: My thoughts with you while you serve and thank you. Of course you don't feel connected to your ...
Teenage stepson issues	1/16/2009
Q: My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I have 2 children of my own (7,11), and he has ... A: The problem here is your husband. Until he steps up to the plate and does his job as a parent, his ...
Too many family members involved	1/15/2009
Q: I got married to a man that I knew for many years about 8 years ago. I have a 16 yr daughter, he has ... A: The problem is your mom. She needs to back off and let this family heal. She isn't helping by ...
HELP!!!!!!!!!!	1/15/2009
Q: I have been with my fiance now for 4 years, I have known him my hole life. We grew up together, My ... A: Get into counseling. This girl may have unresolved issues about her mother that she should deal ...
Need help with rules for 13-year-old under house arrest	1/15/2009
Q: then they released her to her father the next day. She is under pretty strict house arrest, but we ... A: Yes, rules and boundaries are necessary, however, what you should be doing is getting this child in ...
step daughter creating conflict	1/14/2009
Q: I have been married to my husband for 5 years and together for 7. I have a 13 y/o, his is 10, and ... A: Nothing. Ignore the lies. You are feeding the situation by reacting to her. Why are you so worried ...
my 6yr old stepson and 6yr old son I need help	1/14/2009
Q: My husband and I were married 8months ago. He has a that is 6 yrs old and so do I. My stepson has ... A: There are things involving this lad that need to be dealt with immediately. He has never grieved ...
Narcissism	1/14/2009
Q: L Thank you in advance for your assistance. I have been married for 3 years. We lived 6 hours ... A: Put locks on your bedroom door, on any alcohol cabinets. The drinking is hers and her father's ...
punishments&discipline for strong willed kids	1/13/2009
Q: my girl friend and i have 6 kids. two teens which are the greatest.which are hers. i have two of my ... A: In my opinion, a nose to wall extend time out past five minutes is extreme. A chair in the corner ...
Help with my step son	1/12/2009
Q: My husband and I have been together for 5 years. He ahs two son, ages 12 and 11 and I ahve a 7 year ... A: Sounds like the one who needs counseling is your husband--on parenting. He is an enabler in this ...
My fiance's 10 year old son will not listen to her	1/12/2009
Q: I am 38 years old and my girlfriend/fiance is 40. She has 6 children, 3 girls and 3 boys. 2 of the ... A: First, I would like to say take a good look at this situation and make sure this is what you ...
punishments&discipline for strong willed kids	1/12/2009
Q: my girl friend and i have 6 kids. two teens which are the greatest.which are hers. i have two of my ... A: "The problem child" Interesting. I agree. Tell me how there has been a significant positive ...
what to do	1/11/2009
Q: me and my husband fight every time his children come over because they will not listen. the oldest ... A: When his children visit, leave. If your husband cannot help you with this, then take care of ...
Having my own child now	1/10/2009
Q: My husband and I have been married for almost a year now and are expecting a child of our own. I am ... A: You need to get into counseling to help you deal with this issue. You have to realize that this ...
Help, our kids just don't get along!	1/9/2009
Q: Ok, I have been dating this amazing woman for about 7 months now and want to take things to the next ... A: Three pieces of advice: Wait and take your time with blending this family. All the kids are telling ...
Adult Stepdaughter causing conflict	1/8/2009
Q: How do I prevent my stepdaughter from causing so much trouble, without just sitting by watching her ... A: I am sorry to hear of your losses and understand the emotional tidal waves you are experiencing. ...
Step son driving me crazy	1/7/2009
Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. We have lived together for a good part of that. ... A: I believe you have recognized the problem and until he steps up and does something about this, ...
step families	12/17/2008
Q: I have a problem that I can't seem to explain to my other half. We both have been living together ... A: You need to get into counseling with your partner and learn how to work together parenting your ...
Rules for a 17 yo Step Daughter	12/17/2008
Q: L., Really hoping you can help out here. I am married to a man with a daughter (17) who is now ... A: Who are we kidding? The moment two of the opposite sex at an age where hormones are running amok ...
Slowly Blending a family	12/15/2008
Q: I have been dating my SO for 2 years now. I have a 6 year old son and he has an 8 year old son with ... A: You are on the right track. I would suggest that you research as much as you can about Autism in ...
Step-parenting	12/14/2008
Q: I have a 15 year ojd stepdaughter that has a boyfriend. He is over all the time and they have a ... A: This is a serious problem and the mother needs to get her head out of the sand and recognize it for ...
step children	12/10/2008
Q: I am a step mom to my husband 5 children from 3 different relationships....my only problem is that ... A: I can't imagine the conflict the child feels in trying to appease both her mom and that extended ...
difficult times with stepchildren	12/9/2008
Q: I have been married to my husband for close to one year now. I brought my three children into the ... A: I think you all need to get yourselves into family counseling where everyone will get the chance to ...
my new husband expects perfection	12/9/2008
Q: I need help with my new husbands anger towards my girls. Their dad and I divorced because he was ... A: I don't think you will like what I'm going to say. Any adult who cannot control himself around ...
How do I deal with accusations	12/8/2008
Q: Firstly, let me apolagize in advance. This is all going to sound so childish. But I do need help. ... A: You need to take a deep breath and relax. Being a stepparent isn't easy on any given day. It takes a ...
Abusive Stepchild	12/8/2008
Q: My step son is horrible!!!! I want him to go to counseling and I don't want him anywhere near my ... A: The problem here is your husband. These are his kids, yet he does nothing to end this torment. You ...
Help	12/8/2008
Q: I have been with my husband for 7 yrs.Only been married for 2 of them.When my husband and I started ... A: "If it don't change now it will never get any better" You hit the nail right on the head. Your ...
Unruley step child	12/5/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for a year and a half but have been together for over 4 years. ... A: Absolutely keep the lines of communications open. However, this lad needs to understand that when he ...
Am i the only one trying to blend our families together	12/5/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We moved in with each other about a year ago and ... A: I can understand how having your child left out of an event while others go can upset you. However, ...
step parent role	12/4/2008
Q: we have his son every wed and Thursday and every second weekend and when ever the boys mother dosent ... A: This lad sounds like he's had a huge amount of change thrown at him by his biomom. It's hard to ...
Unruley step child	12/3/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for a year and a half but have been together for over 4 years. ... A: I'm a little confused. What exactly is his father, his bioparent, doing with all this. Where is his ...
I'm out of my league	12/3/2008
Q: I have been married for 4 months to a great guy. He has a 7 year old son whom I get along with very ... A: Tell your stepson that you do not wish to hear anything that your mother has said about you. If he ...
Step Kids	12/3/2008
Q: I have major problems and it is all because of me. I am married to a wonderful man. The only ... A: I'd just like to add that you may wish to visit your doctor and explain to him/her all your ...
"You're not my stepmom, yet!"	12/2/2008
Q: I have been with a man for almost 2 years and we are contemplating marriage. He has a 4 year old ... A: This is a four year old, not a 24 year old. This child has had to adapt and accept a lot of changes ...
Adult son living with us, Should I leave now?	12/1/2008
Q: My husband and I dated for 4 years and now married for 6 weeks. He has 3 kids. Two boys, ages 27 & ... A: So much for the honeymoon... A 25 year old is an adult and should be treated like one. So here you ...
Husband treats stepson unfairly	12/1/2008
Q: HELP ME! I am at my wits end. I have recently married (1.3 years) after being a single parent for 10 ... A: It's sad really, the things we do in order to not be alone in life. "My son has seen my husband be ...
My son lives with me	11/30/2008
Q: I need some advice for my blended family. A little background...I have been married for a year and a ... A: This can be an easy although lengthy fix. It will require extensive counseling for all concerned. ...
How much do I have to take?	11/29/2008
Q: How much do I have to take? My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs. Our family consists of my ... A: So much control given to one young person. The solution can be a tough one. You can pack her things, ...
blending kids-I am desperate	11/29/2008
Q: I am 40 years old and have been divorced for 7 . I have shared custody of my 11 year old son. He is ... A: You both need professional help with this. Living with ADHD, or ADD is tough enough; add ODD to the ...
Ex Wife and Family	11/27/2008
Q: I realy need to know if I am really the bad and wrong person as I am made out to be. My boyfriend ... A: One who is facing entering a blended situation that makes her a stepmom. Stepparents have to realize ...
children not meshing	11/27/2008
Q: I am 40 years old.I have been divorced for 7 years, and am now in a serious relationship of 6 ... A: Seems to me that this according to you and your bf, is all about your son. There is no real ...
surprise kid 12 years later	11/24/2008
Q: Here's the picture: I am married to my husband of 9 years. We get the surprise phone call from the ... A: You want to save this marriage, get into counseling. Your husband needs to step up and decide what ...
Step children	11/24/2008
Q: I am in this relationship for 3 and a half years. Was engaged to him and was getting married. All ... A: Yes, I can... for the sake of your child and your sanity... RUN! RUN FOR THE HILLS AS FAST AS YOU ...
stepdaughters	11/21/2008
Q: i really dont like my stepdaughters who live with us, i have 6 children of my own, who are ... A: I don't know... which one sounds good to you? As I don't live the life, there is no way for me to ...
Meshing kids	11/21/2008
Q: My fiance and I are getting married in July and have lived together for about a year. I have a 6 ... A: Get them into counseling. A counselor will help both cope with the changes in their lives and how to ...
Resenting 14 yr Old Step-Son	11/20/2008
Q: I need help learning how to not resent my 14 year old stepson. My husband and I have been married ... A: Man oh man does this family need counseling, or what... Okay, first off, you need to ask yourself ...
Stepdaughter	11/19/2008
Q: I am a 32 year old female with a 10 year old daughter. In June, 2008 I moved in with my boyfriend ... A: This little girl needs to get into grief counseling. Some people grieve for years at the loss of ...
adult stepdaughter	11/18/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married over 13 years. We have two children together aged 8 and 11. The ... A: Not only do I agree with your husband about having her over to meet with you and have "it out", but ...
life with step teenagers	11/17/2008
Q: I'm not sure I really have a question, it's more of a comment, really. I began living with my ... A: So... why are they still there? The house is in your name and you work long full time hours to help ...
3 year old stepson's behavior	11/17/2008
Q: I am currently 7 months pregnant with my first child. My husband and I have been together for 2 ... A: This lad will need to be assured a lot that you are not replacing him with this new baby. He needs ...
My stepson	11/16/2008
Q: This will sound terrible I know...but here goes. I have a 16(going on 11)year old stepson. He's very ... A: Imagine for the moment that you are a child who knows that no one really wants you around; that no ...
What are my boundries?	11/16/2008
Q: I recently married and my husband has a 3 year old son from a previous marriage. I don't have any ... A: I would have thought that all this had been discussed and worked out prior to the wedding. Now, you ...
step-son	11/15/2008
Q: I have a 14 year old step son who is really lazy, I ask him to do something and the only way he does ... A: The problem isn't your stepson, it's his mother. Until she steps up and starts parenting her child, ...
what am i really?	11/14/2008
Q: Im 21 years old. Im married and i have 2 biological children and a "stepdaughter" i guess. she ... A: Your husband and his ex gf are being very unfair to you. If they expect you to take care of this ...
stepchild vs own child	11/14/2008
Q: I have a 8 month old son, he is my first!!! I have been married 2 yrs and have 2 stpedaughter 11 and ... A: Your son is 8 months and will not remember anything. However, in time, it is okay to want to make a ...
my son and stepson	11/13/2008
Q: I became a stepmom 12yrs. ago. and today my son Sean and stepson Sammy are both 16yrs old. My ... A: I see your husband's point. I always believed that if you do for one, then you do for all. However, ...
Disrespect from step child	11/13/2008
Q: My 12 yr old stepson of 2 years does not do what I ask as far as house hold chores & basic ... A: I get asked this a lot from others in similar situations. My response surprises them, so prepare ...
Blended Family Broken - Divorce? Moral dilemma.	11/12/2008
Q: This is a very very difficult situation for me. I'll start with the back story. When I was in my ... A: Counseling. You and your husband need to get into marriage counseling and find out what the problem ...
My new spouse hates my son	11/12/2008
Q: Please help! My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married 4 of those. I have 2 children ... A: Hmmm the world of instant resolution once again strikes. We live in a world of instant, instant ...
My new spouse hates my son	11/11/2008
Q: Please help! My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married 4 of those. I have 2 children ... A: There are a lot of issues here that I can offer an opinion on. First, it is of my opinion that ...
step daughter	11/11/2008
Q: I have been married for 7 years and we have 3 children 11 year old son, 8 year old daughter, and a 3 ... A: You need counseling, Katie, to help you deal with all the stress and mixed feelings you are ...
This brat is driving me bannanas!!!	11/10/2008
Q: Please help! I don't know what is wrong with me. Normally I am a very patient, loving person; ... A: Get into counseling fast. Your fiance should take a few parenting courses to help him see how much ...
19 yearold stepson has girlfriend pregnant. How to accept this!	11/10/2008
Q: I have been married now for 10yrs., and when we married my stepson was 9. My stepson loved me and ... A: So many guns and so little time. What on earth was your husband thinking when he decided to keep ...
11 year old step son	11/5/2008
Q: I have an 11 year old step son who is an absolute nightmare, I dread the weekends we have him. He is ... A: Pack up baby and go to the park or mall and walk around. Enjoy each other and visit with family and ...
Making a new home	11/4/2008
Q: My Fiance and I live in different states. He wants to move here with me, but we do not want his kids ... A: I would have to wonder what the court order states about visitation, custody and support. Does he ...
3yr old I cant stand	11/4/2008
Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and his son who is 3, is all of a sudden a little ... A: Getting involved with a person who has children that could at some point become your stepchildren, ...
Step Daughter - Serious Problem	11/3/2008
Q: I have been with my fiance for over six years and we have a 5 year old daughter together. He has a ... A: I hope you are taking a good look at all this? I can't tell you what to do, only you can make that ...
Help Help Help	11/3/2008
Q: I am married with 3 kids a pair of twins from my previous relationship and a single from my current ... A: What you have described here is child abuse. There should be no hesitation on your part, you need to ...
Spoiled step daughter	10/29/2008
Q: My two step daughters have been living with us for a year now and the oldest one is so spoiled its ... A: Interesting... You've not mentioned what you think your husband should be doing during all this. ...
In addition	10/29/2008
Q: I just wanted to add to my question a little more information. I had my fiancee's second son two ... A: Now I understand what you are asking. Yes, pay child support or face having wages garnisheed. Your ...
My wife's ultimatum to me.	10/29/2008
Q: Where do I start? I am 46 in my third marriage of 4 ½ years is to a 32 years old with 3 children 10, ... A: I am certain there is more to this than what you've described. The mentioning of drinking is a huge ...
Step-Son Issue	10/28/2008
Q: I have been married to my wife for 7 years. She has 2 children from her previous marriage and I had ... A: There is a bigger issue here. You need to find out more about the drug situation. If drugs are ...
Stepdaughter getting worse and worse	10/28/2008
Q: I have been with my husband for 8 yrs/married to him for 6. I have a 10 yr old daughter from my ... A: Nothing. You've done all that you can. This 19 year old needs to be accountable for her actions. All ...
How to cope	10/28/2008
Q: I am married to a wonderful man who has 4 children(23,14, and twins age 9) from his previous ... A: Instead of stopping the feeling, let's try and understand where it's coming from. You sound like you ...
Step Daughter	10/28/2008
Q: I have been married for 14 years and known my second husband for 16 years. He has two kids, 10 & 11 ... A: I would go on with your life and if these two want to be part of your family, then maybe you will ...
live in girlfriend trying to coparent 12 y.o girl	10/27/2008
Q: to make this as brief as possible I will tell you the major details although daily life in this ... A: No, I won't tell you to get out as you have no intention of doing so. The driving force behind ...
Resentment of StepChild	10/24/2008
Q: My 12 year old stepson is ADHD and has not seen his Mother in 2 years as she is in prison for drug ... A: Stop trying so hard. If the lad doesn't want your help, then let him fail. Perhaps that will get his ...
adult stepson	10/23/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for 14 years, he has one son, 38 years old. My husband is 75 and ... A: I would remove myself from all scenarios involving your stepson. No matter what you will try, ...
TRYING to love my stepson as my own	10/22/2008
Q: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past 4 years, off and on. When we first met ... A: You need counseling to help you with all of this. I would recommend that both you and your bf ...
Explaining "family" to young step daughters	10/22/2008
Q: I have two beautiful twin step daughters who are five. I have been in their lives since they were 2 ... A: Don't tell them, show them. Five year olds are always full of questions. No matter what you will do, ...
Stepdaughter Issues and the Decision to Live Together	10/22/2008
Q: I have been with my partner for 4 years. We each have 3 children. We live separately. My ... A: Do not get married, you are not ready. Do not bring your children into this man's mess until he has ...
Step daughter	10/21/2008
Q: I have three children from a previous marriage and he has two children from a previous relationship. ... A: Stop trying so hard. In fact, why are you trying so much? This is your stepdaughter who has made it ...
Late for school	10/20/2008
Q: I was wondering what you feel is appropriate punishment for being late in getting ready to leave for ... A: I think you are putting the cart before the horse here. The issue isn't the consequences, it's the ...
loving three step children	10/19/2008
Q: I'm horribly terrorized with the way I feel about my youngest step-daughter. She likes me very much ... A: Get some counseling. You need to deal with your own emotions before this gets out of hand. I am only ...
How do I accept my boyfriend's children?	10/17/2008
Q: I'm currently in a relationship. My relationship has been off and on. When I started dealing with ... A: You need to seek out a counselor who can help you sort out this mess if you choose to stay with it. ...
step-daughter	10/17/2008
Q: I have been married for 11 years, I brought 2 sons, 8 and 11 into the marriage and he brought a 8 yo ... A: People often write in to me knowing that the answer they will get, will not be sugar coated or ...
Problem stepdaughter	10/16/2008
Q: My fiance and I have been together for three years. We moved into together one year ago. He has ... A: Find a new counselor. Then try family counseling too. There are anger management programs out there ...
Soon to be step monster...	10/16/2008
Q: I live with my boyfriend, we have his daughter every weekend. I love her, she can be sweet but she ... A: One: With a child in the house and at the age that she is, you should never sleep completely nude ...
step son lives fullltime with his dad and me	10/15/2008
Q: This child 6th grade age 11. 10years has not tried to become a paprt of our family. It has been 3 ... A: After three years and still rebellious to becoming a blended family... I would try family ...
Grown Step-Children Stole My Late Mother's Diamond Wedding Ring	10/15/2008
Q: I have been married to a wonderful man and we've close to 100compatible. Our friends have always ... A: Get a lawyer. Be thankful you are free of this bizzare family. I would not want to live under so ...
The Stepchild has a question	10/14/2008
Q: and how are you? Well, I'm actually I'm 18, and I am the stepchild, but my stepdad has three ohter ... A: I am fine thank you... The first thing that I thought of when reading this, is why haven't you ...
dissagreements	10/12/2008
Q: I'm engaged my fiancee has a 4 year old who often is mischievous,if i tell the child one thing she ... A: Such a huge question with so little given to base my opinion on. All marriages take work, and no ...
grown stepdaughter and two kids who moved in with us	10/10/2008
Q: When they found themselves in an unsuitable home situation, I agreed to let my wife's 25 year old ... A: "When they found themselves in an unsuitable home situation..." You had no idea that they had been ...
stepdaughter's boyfriend is a controller	10/9/2008
Q: My stepdaughter is an adult - 28 years old and her boyfriend is 30. They reside in LA and we are in ... A: This is a relationship between adults' question,one that could be helped through counseling. As this ...
husband no help with his daughter my stepdaughter	10/9/2008
Q: I can't even discuss anything about her with him as he is so defensive. I realize his defense comes ... A: Yes I can... Don't take things so seriously. I've found with my own stepchildren that it's a lot to ...
step kids	10/7/2008
Q: I just got married a couple of weeks ago,but we've been together for 4 months; I have 3 kids myself, ... A: A tough situation at best. I hope your new husband treats you well for the incredible sacrifice ...
stepson	10/7/2008
Q: I have been married to my husband for 7 years. We have three small children together. My husband ... A: Unless you want to go for full custody, then there's not much else you can do. You hold up your end ...
Wife and Ex-Wife Relationship	10/6/2008
Q: My wife and ex-wife do not get along. I have been married to my current wife for 1.5 years. I ... A: What you have to remember is that the children in the situation don't see what the adults see. All ...
Adult Stepchild problems	10/5/2008
Q: My husband and I have dated since 2003 and got married in 2005. I have Three Children and he has ... A: Let's look at this in another way. If someone 19 years of age were to break into your home and steal ...
Step-Parent to 3 or her children	9/18/2008
Q: I am 50 and she is 38. I have two adult children that do not live with us. My wife has 3 children ... A: So let me get this straight, you are paying the expenses of all three or four children of a woman ...
i am a 23 year old mother	9/16/2008
Q: is it healthy to have my 2 year old call my boyfriend DADDY? He doesn't know his donor! His donor is ... A: I would have thought of this before getting involved with this man. It's only natural for your two ...
New Spouse Does Not Like My Children	9/16/2008
Q: I'm hoping that you have some insights that I don't. I have had a mostly positive relationship with ... A: I've been waiting for you to write. First and foremost, you are a parent. When you met your new ...
Widower's Goth Teen Daughter	9/15/2008
Q: I have been dating a man for 4 years now. He has two daughters, 14 year old who lost her mother when ... A: Only as long as it takes for your bf and his daughter to find another place to live. There are ...
Teenager in conflict with boyfriend!	9/15/2008
Q: My oldest son age 16 does not comunicate with my bf.Nor does my bf comunicate with him! I am moving ... A: I cannot imagine living like this. This bf of yours is way out of line. Forcing the lad to live a ...
My Stepson no longer wanting to visit	9/12/2008
Q: My question concerns my five year old son and how to tell him that his 12 year old half-brother (my ... A: This may pass. The lad is 12 and will soon be able to have a say in what he truly wants and not what ...
Loosing Sleep	9/11/2008
Q: I am a 33-year-old mother of 2 & stepmother of 2. My step kids has lived with their father & I now ... A: Print off a copy of this letter you've written to me and give it to him. I think you've said it all ...
Welcoming my Stepson	9/10/2008
Q: Just a week ago, we recently took in my stepson. His mom is an alocholic and needs to get herself ... A: Sounds like dad needs to lay down the law about respect, rules and boundaries. He needs to support ...
Parenting Styles	9/10/2008
Q: I have an 18 year old son that I have raised on my own since he was 2. I recently married. My ... A: Interesting. I stand with my first suggestions/opinions. If you are willing to help his son too, I ...
Stepparenting and Ex-wife	9/10/2008
Q: I am 28 yrs old with one 6 yr old son from a previous marriage. I have recently married my husband ... A: "She talks very badly about me to her children and so of course that doesn't make it any easier on ...
Stepparenting and Ex-wife	9/10/2008
Q: I am 28 yrs old with one 6 yr old son from a previous marriage. I have recently married my husband ... A: Leave. Under no circumstances should any of this be happening. Whether his kids are being coaxed ...
Parenting Styles	9/9/2008
Q: I have an 18 year old son that I have raised on my own since he was 2. I recently married. My ... A: There are so many aspects to this. Let me address each one separately. 1) I have an 18 year old ...
Anxiety over his children	9/9/2008
Q: I have been dating a man for over a year now. He has three children 2 girls and boy ages 16, 7 and ... A: Take a good, hard look. This is exactly how being married to him will be, but ALL the time. You will ...
atep-dad transfers agression to step-daughter	9/9/2008
Q: My 20 year old daughter, lives with us and is working and saving to travel before starting college ... A: I am not involved with this site to be rated. My participation is based on the growing need for ...
Soon-to-be-Blended family/ Unruly Stepchildren	9/8/2008
Q: I have been with my husband for close to five years. When I met him, he was divorced with two sons, ... A: I think this is highly unfair of your husband to suddenly decide after all this time to get custody ...
no body is happy in my family!!!!!!!!	9/8/2008
Q: madam, i am 40 years old man with 2 teenage kids 14, 16 who live with seperated spouse. my relation ... A: Is it advice that your gf is giving, Richard, or is she simply telling you to do it? Advice is just ...
how do i make my husband happy and get along with his kids	9/8/2008
Q: I appreciate it if you can help me with two issues of step-parenting. I live with my husband since ... A: I can't tell you enough how many times I wish women who marry men with children would take their ...
Dealing with adult children in a relationship	9/7/2008
Q: This is a long story...I will hit on some details....I have dated Frank over 5 yrs having with ... A: It sounds to me, Suzanne, that you were hoping I'd take your hand and say, "there, there, dear." My ...
help me please	9/7/2008
Q: I have just recently gotten married to a my husband, he has 3 children and I have none. He has 2 ... A: I would recommend counseling as a family unit, marriage counseling so you both can learn to work ...
atep-dad transfers agression to step-daughter	9/5/2008
Q: My 20 year old daughter, lives with us and is working and saving to travel before starting college ... A: So let me understand this? You have an adult daughter living at home, not paying room and board ...
Dealing with adult children in a relationship	9/5/2008
Q: This is a long story...I will hit on some details....I have dated Frank over 5 yrs having with ... A: I feel extremely sorry for Frank. I cannot imagine the pressure he is under to please everyone, ...
Picky eater stepchildren with rude comments	9/3/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together five and a half years and married two and a half years. My two ... A: Stop cooking for them. If they can't say anything nice, why bother? Until your husband stops acting ...
help	9/3/2008
Q: I have been with my partner for over a year.We met, got pregnant and moved in together.He has a 4yr ... A: Visit your doctor and discuss port-partum blues with him. Then I would look at finding a place so ...
concerned Nana	9/2/2008
Q: I am looking for wisdom on whether we should offer our new daughter in law some written helps on ... A: I would suggest that you find counseling for them as a unit. They need to get into family counseling ...
Help...before its too late...	9/2/2008
Q: J.L. Slipak, I need your help in a desperate way. Two years ago, I met a man and his daughter. ... A: There is no reason why a 16 year old can't get a job to help keep HER horse. I would stick to ...
step kids dicipline	9/2/2008
Q: I have been living with my boyfriend for a year. he has three kids 13 14 and 5 yr old i have a 7 yr ... A: He has three children, two of which live with you always and a five year old who only visits on ...
My husband has intense anger toward my son	9/1/2008
Q: I have been married to my husband for almost 8 years now. My son (from another marriage) is 13 and ... A: This seems more a relationship question than one about stepparenting. I cannot possibly offer any ...
Stepchildren?	9/1/2008
Q: I married my husband a year ago & have been with him almost two.He has two kids whom live with us ... A: Basically, as I read this, you've awaken one morning and decided you've made a terrible mistake. I'm ...
Am I over reacting?	8/31/2008
Q: I came across this site while researching my question on my own and maybe an expert can help me feel ... A: This does need to be addressed. Talk to your husband about your concerns. The girl should see a ...
Moving in together	8/30/2008
Q: I have an 8 year old boy with adhd which comes with behavioral problems. He's gotten really close to ... A: This man has every right to spend quality time with his daughter. If this means to be done alone, ...
"Core Family"	8/29/2008
Q: I have been in relationship with a man for 4 years who I am engaged to be married to next summer. ... A: Jane, Well... how can I say this without sounding contrite... you are the nanny, but with special ...
Stepchildren	8/28/2008
Q: Am I wrong for feeling this way. My boyfriend has an 18month old son with his ex and we have a 8 ... A: I would recommend counseling for you. You have an 8 month old son. You could be suffering from ...
Out of control step kids	8/28/2008
Q: I am 26 and i have to step kids. My fiancee just got custody of both them and the will be moving ... A: You cannot do this on your own. You need to put these kids in counseling and youth programs to help ...
Aggrevated!!	8/27/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for 6 years.. he has a son who is 7 from a previous relationship. ... A: I can imagine the pressure your husband felt knowing this was the first visit after 3-1/2 years and ...
Trouble with my 14 year old step son	8/27/2008
Q: My husband's two children (boy, 14; girl, 12) are with us two nights a week and every other ... A: I would stress to his mother that the lad should be in the room with the counselor alone, without ...
Step Family Trouble!	8/27/2008
Q: I'm having problems with my step child (to be!!!) and thought maybe you could help. I am 28 years ... A: I will never understand why bioparents rush into relationships so quickly after divorce. There are ...
Problem's with boyfriend's 17 year old daughter	8/26/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. We each have one daughter from previous ... A: The problem here occurred long before you came into the picture. There is a concern with parental ...
Trouble with my 14 year old step son	8/25/2008
Q: My husband's two children (boy, 14; girl, 12) are with us two nights a week and every other ... A: I would be asking myself what this child's behavior is a "symptom" of? Is he acting out because ...
Me vs Bio Mom	8/25/2008
Q: My husband has physical custody of his 2 daughters, aged 9 and 10. For almost 4 years I have been ... A: Ahh the ideal world of what "should" and "shouldn't" be. I have been a stepparent for over 20 years ...
Trouble with my 14 year old step son	8/25/2008
Q: My husband's two children (boy, 14; girl, 12) are with us two nights a week and every other ... A: Hell JW, The person who should be doing something about this is your husband, not you. He needs to ...
Me vs Bio Mom	8/24/2008
Q: My husband has physical custody of his 2 daughters, aged 9 and 10. For almost 4 years I have been ... A: Welcome to the world of stepparenting, where it is expected by bios for stepparents to do all that a ...
Me vs Bio Mom	8/24/2008
Q: My husband has physical custody of his 2 daughters, aged 9 and 10. For almost 4 years I have been ... A: This is a difficult situation as the biomom still has legal custody of the children. She does have a ...
step-daughter problems	8/24/2008
Q: I am not sure where to begin. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and he and his ... A: This child needs to live with her mother. If after four years, counseling and many, many discussions ...
Stepfamilies & Finances	8/23/2008
Q: My boyfriend, "John", is a divorced dad of two (ages 7 & 10), and shares joint physical & legal ... A: Yes, I've answered this question. Whatever you have made up to now, put into some sort of investment ...
Stepfamilies & Finances	8/23/2008
Q: My boyfriend, "John", is a divorced dad of two (ages 7 & 10), and shares joint physical & legal ... A: My advice would be whatever you've saved, put in GIC's or other investments, strictly in your name. ...
Stepson stole from me	8/22/2008
Q: My stepson, that I raised since he was 10, is now 25. Throughout the years, we have taken care of ... A: Sounds like there could be other issues involved, such as drugs/alcohol abuse or gambling. You are ...
Step parenting	8/21/2008
Q: This is the question I had sent earlier. Thanks in advance. I have 19 yr old Uni step and 17 yr old ... A: There are many possible issues here. The fact that a parent, their mother, died raises a red flag. ...
My husband hates my son	8/21/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3 of them. He has 2 children (girl 11, ... A: There is no question here that I can see. In my opinion, it would be wiser for all if this baby ...
My 11 1/2 year old daughter VS my fiance!	8/20/2008
Q: My fiance and I are getting married in January 2009 and I have 3 daughters: 11 1/2, 10 & 2 years ... A: Without living in the situation, or having all the history and information that would be privy to a ...
My 11 1/2 year old daughter VS my fiance!	8/20/2008
Q: My fiance and I are getting married in January 2009 and I have 3 daughters: 11 1/2, 10 & 2 years ... A: Her father is such a great person, yet he's in jail? Hmm... what's wrong with this picture... I ...
Husband Lashing Out At Sep Daughter	8/20/2008
Q: I have been married for 2 years. I have two children, daughter 11 years old and a son 23 years old, ... A: I do not see a question... So good for you, at least you have your priorities in place. Now, go talk ...
Step parenting	8/20/2008
Q: I sent my question twice and got an answer that you were unable to answer the question although you ... A: I have checked all my records and have nothing showing a question from a Peggie. With these computer ...
Should I stay or go??	8/18/2008
Q: I have a stepson who is 13 and a biological daughter that's 6..me and his mother have been together ... A: This is a difficult situation. You have your thoughts in the best place, the well-being of your ...
stepchild problems	8/18/2008
Q: i have been living with my husband for about 4 years now and we got married last year. he has a 12 ... A: This girl has some serious issues. It is up to her father to fix this. To blame you for something ...
help me out pls.....	8/17/2008
Q: First of all...thanks for your time to read this story, i've been married for 2 years, but my ... A: The only person who can answer all this is you. You will have to decide if you can live like this ...
stepchildren	8/17/2008
Q: Ok...I am engaged to a man with two boys, ages 13 and 11. They haven't had a good mother experience ... A: No. Do not wait. After you are married, start your family if that is what you wish. Prior to getting ...
step children problem	8/15/2008
Q: I dont want my step kids around. my husband has 5 kids 3 are mine 2 are not. the issue i have is ... A: You got involved with a man who has kids. He is entitled to have a relationship with his kids. To ...
Should I go to Step-daughters wedding?	8/14/2008
Q: She is 25 Ive been with her father for 20 years my relationship with her has always been strained ... A: You need to sit down with just your stepdaughter and lay it all on the line. Tell her your feelings ...
Matters and Courtesy	8/13/2008
Q: I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I have been dating for the past 3 years. He has an 8 year old ... A: You are correct, he is wrong. Manners and common courtesy do start at home with respect. If she is ...
Fiance'sAdult Daughter Breaking up Our Relationship	8/12/2008
Q: I have had a 3 year relationship with/ my fiance'. Everything was going well until 2 years ago when ... A: This is a relationship question, moreso than a question about stepparenting. But, I had to say just ...
baby momma drama	8/11/2008
Q: My fiancé and I both have children of our own and share a son together. He has 3 from previous ... A: Go back to court with this story. Inform the judge of her interference. Get specific rules and ...
How can I be more positive with a step child that is only catered to	8/9/2008
Q: I have a 16 1/2 yr old step son. We have had partial custody of him since he was 7 yrs old. I have ... A: Sounds impossible. Shame on the parents for ruining this child. Until they change, nothing more can ...
Step children	8/9/2008
Q: So, before I ask a question, I will "fill" you in on our situation. My husband and I have been ... A: You answered your own question... he is turning 18. I'm afraid, no matter how much this may bother ...
Oldest Step-Son Won't Visit Us	8/8/2008
Q: I'm engaged to a wonderful man who has two really great sons! One is 12 and the other is 15. The ... A: You cannot force him. He's clearly made a choice of not visiting or staying. Your fiance should try ...
stepkids	8/8/2008
Q: my boyfrined recently revealed to me that he could be a father to a 3 yr old child. i say could as ... A: You need to get yourself and your boyfriend into counseling. There may be some serious decisions ...
lying stepdaughter	8/8/2008
Q: my husband and i have been married for 2 1/2 years and we have a 5 month old daughter. my husband ... A: Try having your husband visit with his daughter when you are not around or better yet, away from the ...
Step children	8/7/2008
Q: So, before I ask a question, I will "fill" you in on our situation. My husband and I have been ... A: All this over a little box. Get rid of the box. Cell phones have turned into a curse for parents ...
Toxic stepchildren.	8/7/2008
Q: I have been married to my husband for almost 10 years. We have two children a 9 year old with ... A: You need to tell your husband all this and then give him a choice, support you as his wife and the ...
parenting stepchildren	8/7/2008
Q: I am step mother who has been married for 7 years .I have a great husband but he has 5 other kids I ... A: Pack and leave. His goal for having 8 children under one roof is obviously asking too much of the ...
step mom and showering	8/6/2008
Q: I would like to know if it is appropriate for a step mom to get in the shower with a 7 year old girl ... A: From the letters you've written and from your husband's, which don't really supply a whole lot of ...
Stepdaughter and her dad	8/5/2008
Q: First a little background here. I married my husband 3 1/2 years ago. I have two daughters from a ... A: This is inappropriate if you are concerned about sex. I will not comment on the religious factor as ...
parenting stepchildren	8/5/2008
Q: I am step mother who has been married for 7 years .I have a great husband but he has 5 other kids I ... A: Your three and his five? Are you insane? Tell him when you hit the lottery, you will be happy to ...
blended family with 1 on the way	8/5/2008
Q: i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He has three kids from prior marriage only ... A: You've been with this man for a year, lived in this chaos and are 8 months pregnant... and NOW you ...
Stepdaughters hate me, what should I do?	8/3/2008
Q: I have been married for 11 years to a man 26 years older than me. He has 3 kids in their 20's and we ... A: I would ignore their childish behaviors. They are jealous. But because they are adults, you don't ...
15 year old stepdaughter	8/2/2008
Q: I have 3 stepdaughters. Jennifer is 21. She is actually my husband ex-step-daughter, but he raised ... A: These are your husband's problems that he needs to address. He needs to stress that you are his wife ...
Coping with the negative influence of my step son's Mother	8/1/2008
Q: I have been is his life since he was one and my son was four. We have a daughter together and very ... A: I wish I could tell you that this will change soon. But I can't. One day, however, he will see it ...
Is it ok for husband to visit stepkids outside the home	7/31/2008
Q: This question comes from a long and sorted history with husbands ex-girlfriend, mother in law, and ... A: I think you did the right thing in removing the 'issue' from your family. Obviously, the steps don't ...
My three almost step daughters	7/30/2008
Q: I knew my fiancee for about three years before we started dating and for 1 1/2 of those he was still ... A: Run! You are not married to him... yet. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be part of this ...
stepchild on drugs/father does nothing	7/30/2008
Q: Where do I start, years, he has two boys and I have a boy and a girl and we have one child together. ... A: What is there to compromise, the life of your children? You are kidding right? How can you even ...
stepchild on drugs/father does nothing	7/30/2008
Q: Where do I start, years, he has two boys and I have a boy and a girl and we have one child together. ... A: It is easy to agree with sound advice, but the test will be... when are you going to do something ...
stepchild on drugs/father does nothing	7/30/2008
Q: Where do I start, years, he has two boys and I have a boy and a girl and we have one child together. ... A: Postpone the wedding. Call the police and have his eldest son removed. Exposing younger children to ...
His daughter /	7/29/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend now fiance for 8 years and have struggled with the "family" dynamics ... A: Well let me put it to you this way... for every action there's a reaction. She pouts... umm who ...
My wife cant cope with my kids, her step kids	7/29/2008
Q: My wife is wonderful. I love here dearly, however, she is struggling to cope with my kids. I have 3 ... A: Take a break from seeing them. But before you do so, schedule the next visit so that they know you ...
His daughter / "my" issue	7/28/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend now fiance for 8 years and have struggled with the "family" dynamics ... A: Get out of the line of fire! Stop trying so hard with your stepdaughter. This is the number one ...
issues with future step daughter	7/28/2008
Q: My 25yo future step daughter all of a sudden hates me. We have gotten along very well for the last ... A: Ask her. It could be a possibility and not unheard of from adult stepchildren when "daddy" finds a ...
StepSon/Mom/Drugs	7/25/2008
Q: My 31 stepson, a struggling addict has never spoken to his Birth Mom. She is a recovered addict of ... A: You never asked me for a reason why, Sandi. The truth of the matter is you know the reason or you ...
17 year old step daughter	7/24/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He has been divorced for 5 years. I am his ... A: The solution is quite simple. Until your boyfriend takes care of this issue, nothing will change. So ...
Older Step-Children Interference?	7/24/2008
Q: my husband and I have just combined our families within the past two weeks. Week one was fine, but ... A: Legally, your 23 year old stepdaughter could be restricted from contact with her siblings if she's ...
step parenting	7/24/2008
Q: what to do now, my partners ex wives child, who is now 18 acts like she is two when she visits. She ... A: I'm known for my straight forward, no nonsense responses... I say this a reminder and not as a ...
Stepmother of 2	6/20/2008
Q: I am a stepmother of 2 girls - 12 and 7yo. I met my husband 3 years ago and we married a year ago. ... A: When you met him, you knew he had kids. Of course, he's going to want to spend time with them. ...
Do I stay or do I go?	6/19/2008
Q: I have been married for 3 years (together for 7). We went to court and won majority custody of his 2 ... A: So let me understand this... the adults in this scenario, who are refusing to act like adults seem ...
Stepson Moved Back In	6/18/2008
Q: I am 50 years old and have lived with my boyfriend for 10 years and he is 60 years old. His ... A: Well you are indeed in a difficult situation. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if a bio has ...
A living nightmare!	6/18/2008
Q: My 4 yr. old step son is with me 24/7. I have a in home daycare, and his biological mother is a ... A: You are frustrated right now. How can anyone "hate" a four year old. What you need to do is get him ...
where to place my step-daughter?	6/18/2008
Q: I have a 12 yr old step daughter and she visits on the weekends. To make a long story short we have ... A: Yes, you are correct. Your step-daughter should have her own place to sleep and ideally, her own ...
darlenepolattie@webtv.net	6/16/2008
Q: I have 3 stepchildren ages 37, 33, 30. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and together ... A: I understand how torn up you are about not having your husband's children included in the will. I ...
Since when is it her fault that your son chose to be her step dad?	6/16/2008
Q: How should I confront my husbands family? My daughter has no contact with her biological father. ... A: Frankly, I'd keep my child away from these lunatics. Under no circumstances would I sacrifice my ...
step-parenting	6/14/2008
Q: I am a step-mom to two boys (5&6)that are very difficult to handle. Their mother left them when she ... A: There you go, you said it "trying really hard just to love these boys while their mom is out and ...
my boyfriends daughters	6/14/2008
Q: My boyfriends daughters are 19 and 20 yrs old. they do not like me at all, they wont come over and ... A: Until your bf gains a clue and sees things as they are, nothing will change. So I wouldn't worry ...
Feelings of a stepfather	6/13/2008
Q: I have 3 children, 2 oldest children (boy 15, girl 10) are step children to my current husband. My ... A: You haven't given me much to comment on. No abuse is acceptable. And a refusal of counseling is a no ...
How do you no get so upset	6/13/2008
Q: I have a 14 year old step daughter a couple of years ago we had to move away. Her mother has always ... A: Can't change what we don't have the power to change. As stepparents, we see a lot of behaviors from ...
New custodial stepmother of 18 year old girl	6/11/2008
Q: Well, my husband and I are newly married in Feb. 2008; however, just moved in together recently ... A: Your concerns for your 4'1/2 year old are justified. I think the fact that you are trying to have ...
Terror	6/11/2008
Q: Where do I begin. I am with the love of my life and we had our own fair shares of arguments. With ... A: Stop trying so hard. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Right now she knows she can push your ...
Meeting the kids	6/10/2008
Q: I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now. I am a very mature 23 years old, career ... A: How do I say this... This man clearly needs to get his act together and stop messing with your ...
11 year old	5/21/2008
Q: oh my, where do I start? I have been with my "domestic partner" for 3 years, 2 of these we have been ... A: Sounds like you sure are conflicted over this... Can you imagine how this young girl feels??? ...
living with stepchildren and more	5/21/2008
Q: My home isn't my home. I don't feel you can be happy with your life if your not happy about your ... A: The easy answer, is to leave. Three times is the charm they say. I am my partner's third spouse and ...
My husband's daughter . .	5/19/2008
Q: My husband's daughter has been jealous of me since I first met her 25 years ago. She is in her late ... A: I see this quite a bit during my research. Adult stepchildren can be the most difficult. I've always ...
Step Father..won't back down	5/8/2008
Q: I was in a relationship for 15 yrs,Ihave 2 son's aged 8 & 15.I split up with their father Oct 06,our ... A: I don't know can it? You've got to want it to... You need to get help for your addiction first and ...
HELP ME PLEASE!!!!	5/8/2008
Q: Ok, My fiance and I got together 2 tears ago, and we are so perfect together, i had 3 children from ... A: Actually a diagnosis such as the one you've mentioned, can explain a lot about his behaviors. I ...
seeing a guy with 3 sons	5/8/2008
Q: I am seeing a guy with 3 sons. I never see the kids since they have to mind at my house and when i ... A: It takes a lot to be a stepparent and if this is the route you wish it to go, I would wait and take ...
Step-daughter sleeping arrangement	4/5/2008
Q: I have just remarried after being a widower for 2 years. I have 3 teenage boys ages 13,15 and 16. ... A: Your stepdaughter needs her own room... period. She will require privacy and deserves it. As for ...
a triangle of confusion	4/3/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for over a year. About 24 years ago, my husband was involved with ... A: There is no easy answer to this scenario. I think there are a lot of facts unavailable in your ...
To TALK or not to TALK, is the question	4/3/2008
Q: Slipak, I am impressed by your experience. Normally I have seen you answer in one or two lines. ... A: This is a common concern for all stepparents, not just stepmoms. As you've been reading my advice ...
HELP! my fiancee's 14 year old and 9 year old are tearing us apart!	4/3/2008
Q: My fiancee and I have lived together for 6 years. i've been with the kids since the youngest was in ... A: This is sad. I see this a lot when a woman enters a family already established after there has been ...
Stepmom the enforcer	4/1/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for about 3 years and we have a 23 month old together . He owns ... A: Firstly, you've married a trucker. He will be away for periods of time. Secondly, you've married ...
Should I be involved in counseling with husband and exwife	2/8/2008
Q: She says that the communication between them was great before I came along. she says i am the ... A: Counseling for yourself and your husband, yes... counseling for the ex, no. Absolutely, you should ...
I feel insane!	2/8/2008
Q: I have been married to my husband for 5 years now and helping raise his children when they come ... A: "I am tired of being stuck in the middle of my husbands and his exes bickering. I think they should ...
15 Year old Wants to Rule our world	2/8/2008
Q: My husband recently received an email from his 15 year old daughter, stating that she does not wish ... A: Welcome to the world of teens. You need to stick to your guns. Absolutely, do not do anything ...
step child	2/7/2008
Q: Ok i recently had my step son come and live with me and my fiance and i feel as if there has been a ... A: It sounds like you have discovered that being a stepparent may not be for you. So now you have to ...
children	2/6/2008
Q: I would like some advice I have been involved in a 12 year relationship which involved domestic ... A: All parenting should be consistent and constant. Whether you all live together or not is not my ...
my 6 year old son, and my 8 year old stepson	2/6/2008
Q: I am in a relationship with a man who has 2 children from another woman, but only one lives with us. ... A: Counseling is recommended for you and BF if you are serious about this relationship. With counseling ...
My Husband is a helicopter parent	2/6/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married a bit over a year. He is truly a wonderful man and the love of ... A: There are many issues here that would have done well with counseling as they were happening. But it ...
Boyfriends Daughter	2/5/2008
Q: I've been dating a man for awhile now and we are in the process of moving in together, he has 2 ... A: Whispers in his ear??? Doesn't see anything wrong??? Excuses her behavior with lame excuses... And ...
financial responsibility for stepchild	2/5/2008
Q: My fiance and I moved in last year. He has 2 children and I have none. His kids live with us at ... A: These are his kids. He is legally and financially responsible for them. You are kind enough to help ...
Step children	2/3/2008
Q: 3 years ago I married a man who was both a long time friend, and someone that I had a brief affair ... A: Counseling is always a solution for as long as you wish to fix this. Counseling does not provide an ...
Step children	2/3/2008
Q: 3 years ago I married a man who was both a long time friend, and someone that I had a brief affair ... A: If you do not want another solution other than to leave, then I can't help you. It does sound like ...
I can't seem to deal with boyfriend having a son..	2/3/2008
Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years now and we've lived together for 2 1/2 ... A: The boy is not going to go away, nor is it in your right to ask him to give up on his son. I do not ...
issues with 20 year old step-daughter	2/3/2008
Q: I have been married for almost ten years. I love my wife very much. She came with three daughters. ... A: Stop trying. She starts, tell her to knock it off. She tells you to "man up", tell her to grow up. ...
Step children	2/2/2008
Q: 3 years ago I married a man who was both a long time friend, and someone that I had a brief affair ... A: Your husband needs to deal with this girl. He needs to get her out of the house and either in school ...
Husband clashing with my son.	2/2/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together for 3 years, married for 1.5 years. My son is 12 years old, a ... A: You need to think of the well-being of your children and you first. If counseling hasn't helped, ...
Stepson's anger/atitude is destroying our family	2/1/2008
Q: I moved in with my fiancé and his 3 yr old son almost 7 yrs ago. Thing's were fine at first up until ... A: It would appear that you do wish to live like this. So I recommend counseling for you, to further ...
not her mother not her friend	1/31/2008
Q: She was 17 when we met and I thought we got along well. She was being raised by her grandparents so ... A: Get into counseling. There are issues here you need to deal with in a one on one situation with ...
Stepson's anger/atitude is destroying our family	1/31/2008
Q: I moved in with my fiancé and his 3 yr old son almost 7 yrs ago. Thing's were fine at first up until ... A: "I basically feel like step-parents are just used to substitute for the paternal parent and that we ...
Dinner with ex and kids at restaurant for "family meeting" ??	1/31/2008
Q: I am a new stepparent of 3 teenagers for 2 months. 18 year old stepson lives with us, along with my ... A: Although I'm sure this could be argued, I do not agree with the husband in so far as to leave you ...
Stuck Step Parent	1/31/2008
Q: I have a 13 year old son, and a step parent in the house. My son is a pretty good kid, does well at ... A: So what are you doing there? Your son comes first. The mental well being as well as the physical and ...
Partner cannot split time between his son and me	1/30/2008
Q: Im not sure whether im being completely unreasonable and need to change my whole attitude or whether ... A: Time to make the "hard" decisions. I doubt things will change until dad does. So now, you have to ...
Crush	1/30/2008
Q: My 11 year old step-son has a crush on my 14 year old daughter and she feels uncomfortable about it. ... A: These are issues that need to be addressed via a counselor. They will not go away on their own. ...
spoiled step son	1/30/2008
Q: My partner moved in with me about a year ago, it should have been both her and her son together ... A: You've got to be kidding. This is your home and your wife threatens to leave you unless you give ...
Stepfather does little for family structure yet acts as if he deserves ALPHA position.	1/29/2008
Q: L. I got a tuffy here for you. A bit of a long back story to it also but I will give you the ... A: I believe there are often confusing clashes when two strong cultures blend and attempt to make a ...
16 year old step-son	1/29/2008
Q: I have a 16 year old step son, that i have raised since he was 3. I adopted him into our family when ... A: It has been my experience, that children grow up to respect the one giving the discipline more than ...
Adult Children still living with us	1/29/2008
Q: I have been married to my wife for four years. A couple years later we bought a home. Her adult ... A: Where to start... 32 and 31 and STILL living at home? Is your wife insane? By not allowing them to ...
Marriage and Stepchildren	1/28/2008
Q: I am currently dating a wonderful man who has raised his 21 year old daughter and 19 year old son by ... A: What can I say? You've said it all... If there are doubts, then don't get married. Wait it out to ...
step-daughter issues	1/26/2008
Q: My 8 year old step-daughter is an absolute pain in my butt. It use to not be that way & I'm not ... A: You need to get your husband more involved dealing with this. He needs to set rules about respecting ...
25 yr Stepdaughter and husband is driving me crazy	1/26/2008
Q: My husband and I got together 2 yrs ago. He had been married once when his daughter was born, he ... A: From what you've written, there seems to be no solution. If it's a matter of she said or she said... ...
My boyfriend and my daughter	1/26/2008
Q: Well I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship Me and my current boyfriend have been ... A: Stop the boasting. This should not be allowed; it is merely cruel to the younger siblings and ...
when ex-spouse talks negatively to children	1/26/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for 8 months, and have lived together for almost 2 years. We have ... A: Why on earth would he agree to share custody with this woman in the first place? This was his ...
Stepdaughter Angry w/ BioMom	1/25/2008
Q: My husband and I are raising his 10 year old daughter. She was removed from the bio Mom due to drug ... A: You have to make a choice, you either go the nine yards with this little girl, or you don't. She can ...
My kids don't like my wife and she's having a hard time dealing with it	1/14/2008
Q: I recently got married, exactly 8 months ago, my kids thought the world of my new wife then my ex ... A: You are entitled to see your children. If she truly loved you, she would not keep you from them. If ...
step child	1/14/2008
Q: my wife's daughter keeps a lot of pictures of her mom and her dad together before the divorce up in ... A: Under no circumstances should you remove them. The pictures are no threat to you, to your ...
How to deal with a very difficult ex-wife	1/14/2008
Q: I am living with my boyfriend and we are planning to get married. I have an 18 year old son and a ... A: Welcome to the world of stepparenting. It is often frightening what bioparents do to their children ...
stepdaughter always first	1/14/2008
Q: My fiance has a 14 year old with some special needs. He split up with her mother after a year and ... A: This is his child. Of course he wishes to spend time with her. You are not married yet, so you can ...
my role	1/13/2008
Q: my step-daughter is 14 she is a beautiful angel. when i first met her i fell in love. the same ... A: You need to convince your husband to go for custody. There are bigger issues here, your stepdaughter ...
step parenting	1/12/2008
Q: I have a stepson who is 12. I feel my husband treats him 10 times better than my kid and even ... A: The best thing for you is to get your family into family counseling in order to learn to live and ...
What is a stepparent business.....	1/11/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs. I would like to know what is my concern, concerning ... A: I think his daughter is spoiled. I agree, he is doing the wrong thing by constantly indulging her ...
stepson unruly with biodad	1/11/2008
Q: I have a very intelligent 6 year old stepson, I came into his life when he was 4 years old, he right ... A: I would recommend counseling for you and your husband in order to learn to stop fighting each other ...
A step son who hates me and OUR children	1/11/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together for a little over 4 years now. We both had a child with our ... A: You need to let your husband deal with this lad. Your husband needs to re-enforce that the lad is to ...
manipulative, ungrateful stepdaughter	1/11/2008
Q: I guess this is quite a long story but i'll do my best. My ex-husband and I took in my stepdaughter ... A: I understand completely. There is no immediate solution to your situation, Celeste. You will have to ...
manipulative, ungrateful stepdaughter	1/11/2008
Q: I guess this is quite a long story but i'll do my best. My ex-husband and I took in my stepdaughter ... A: " also believe that when something bad happens to you at some point you have to make a decision for ...
sleep problems with 8 yr old stepson	1/10/2008
Q: My husband and I are recently married after 4yrs of dating. He has an ex-wife with whom he had a ... A: My thoughts on this is that you need to get this back to court and possibly change the custody ...
Husband dislikes my daughter and I dislike his	1/10/2008
Q: My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. I have a 10 year old daughter and so does ... A: Counseling. You need to get you and your husband into parenting classes and marriage counseling. You ...
step son	1/10/2008
Q: I waited to marry my husband until his son was out of the house. The son is deceptive and ... A: You and your husband need to have a long talk. Time to put the coffee on. If he was aware that you ...
manipulative, ungrateful stepdaughter	1/10/2008
Q: I guess this is quite a long story but i'll do my best. My ex-husband and I took in my stepdaughter ... A: Your stepdaughter was molested by her father; her mother walked out and never looked back... You are ...
Moving in Together	1/9/2008
Q: I recently divorced in April of 2007. I have two kids, ages 7 and 5.5. I have been dating a ... A: Your boyfriend is correct. His son needs his own room so that he will feel part of the family and ...
Blending Stepsisters	1/9/2008
Q: My husband and I are struggling with the dynamics between my oldest daughter (age 10) and his ... A: Family counseling. There are many issues here, far too many issues here for me to address in a ...
Stepdaughter	1/9/2008
Q: Do I talk to my stepdaughter's boyfriend about innapropreate behavor. she's 17 & he is 18 I think. ... A: You didn't happen to have been in, or are in the military? You need to remember two things. This is ...
Manipulative stepdaughter	1/9/2008
Q: My husband and I married when his daughters were 7, 5, and 4. My daughter was a month short of 2. ... A: The problem here is your husband. He needs to find a backbone and step up and be a father. Shoving ...
MY HUSBAND HATES MY KIDS	1/8/2008
Q: I have 2 sons, ages 12&14 from a previous marriage. I remarried almost 2 years ago to a man who has ... A: So what are you waiting for? You need to do whatever is best for the well-being of you and your ...
step-daughter nightmare	1/8/2008
Q: I have been married for five years. when my husband and I got married my son-from previous ... A: This is a tough call because of the current access schedule. Normally, I would recommend that when ...
Whiney,Clingy Stepdaughter	1/7/2008
Q: My fiancee and I have a wedding planned for May 08. We live together and I have a 5yr old son, his ... A: There is nothing I can do or say to help you here, except ask: Why are you still there? It's ...
blending family on my own	1/6/2008
Q: My husband has full custody of his two daughters. I have full custody of my two sons. We have been ... A: You stand your ground. I do not know the ages of these girls, but the circumstances for your husband ...
The crazy ex-wife	1/6/2008
Q: I need help on how to deal with my fiance's ex-wife. It is getting way out of hand. The oldest boy ... A: I would do as I advised earlier. You cannot take on the responsibility of this woman. She's a grown ...
The crazy ex-wife	1/4/2008
Q: I need help on how to deal with my fiance's ex-wife. It is getting way out of hand. The oldest boy ... A: There are several things to do here. First, I would have all communications regarding the children ...
Stepdaughter	1/3/2008
Q: I have been married for two years. We recently bought a new home, close to where my husband's ex ... A: You need rules and boundaries set. Tell them that they are to call first and if you have company you ...
Adult Stepchildren	1/2/2008
Q: We have been married for 8 yrs, he was divorced for 6 before we met. His ex left him and took 3 ... A: Can we adopt you both? <smiles> It is their loss. They are being petty and selfish and ...
Step dad whos mean	1/2/2008
Q: I have been married for 5 years now and have 2 teen from my previous marriage. My Husband I think ... A: You need to get both you and your husband into counseling, or you need to make some tough decisions. ...
How to deal with a husband who does not like step children	1/1/2008
Q: My problem is I sponsored my children to come and join me here in canada, the year they come is the ... A: This is a unique situation. You are doing exactly what you should be doing as far as I can see. My ...
question about ex spouse's new spouse's	12/31/2007
Q: I have a general question. My ex lives with his new woman and they have a child together. But I ... A: She has every right to be there as a support to your Ex. She is becoming an active role maker in ...
jealous and I hate it	12/31/2007
Q: I've been married to my husb a little over a year now. He had a nasty divorce and his Ex hasnt ... A: Ignore it. My advice is when she visits, let her have her dad all to herself. Go to the gym, go ...
He doesn't like my son....He doesn't like kids..	12/31/2007
Q: I know this is somwhat a repeat but everything that I've read both sets of SO's have children, but ... A: Move on. He has no desire to have a "family" with you. For a man to ask a woman to give up her ...
Natural mother belittling Stepmother	12/28/2007
Q: My husband a I have been together for over 8 years, his daughters are now 13 & 10 and they live with ... A: This is typical. Biomoms tend to overreact to the roles the stepmoms play in their children's lives. ...
Stepdaughter and Drugs	12/28/2007
Q: I have been married to a great man for 5 years. I am fed up with his 22 yr.old daughter. When we ... A: First you must remember, you can't control that which is not within your power to be controlled by ...
18 yr old and EOW visits	12/17/2007
Q: My Step-son will be 18 next month. I was looking forward to no more 'calendar consulting' before any ... A: Easy, stop doing them. End of story. But under no circumstances ask your husband to stop wanting to ...
Angry Stepdad	12/14/2007
Q: My husband and I have been married for 4 and half years but been together for 7. He came into my ... A: Time for counseling. All children play one parent against the other at some point. It is up to the ...
How to Manage, please help...	12/14/2007
Q: I had posted a question on here before about my step-children and their bio-mom and you were very ... A: Yes, I remember this situation very well. You are indeed dealing with bullies. However, the word ...
behavior of 9yo boy	12/13/2007
Q: I just read "help! this is destroying our marriage..." posted on 12-12-07 and it sounds like ... A: You are nothing like the man described in the other letter. There are very important differences. ...
RESENTMENT and bad feelings towards my stepson	12/13/2007
Q: To start, I am a 34 year old mother of 4. 12, 9, 4 (stepson) and 9 months. I have been with my ... A: First...BREATHE! You've just had a baby (9 months)ago. Postpartum is sometimes attached to women ...
My son and my boyfriend	12/13/2007
Q: Here's my situation. I have a now 2 year old son. His father, who is now married and an active part ... A: Time... you need to give this a lot of time. Patience... will be needed from both you and Ed. ...
trouble w/teen daughter of partner	12/12/2007
Q: I've been seeing a man for almost 3 years. I'm 48, he's 50. He and his exwife share custody of their ... A: In all honesty Claire, I'm not sure how to answer that. Frankly, I feel this would be just putting ...
trouble w/teen daughter of partner	12/12/2007
Q: I've been seeing a man for almost 3 years. I'm 48, he's 50. He and his exwife share custody of their ... A: There is NO excuse for bad manners. Why do bioparents excuse disrespecting, bad mannered ...
Help! This is destroying our marriage...	12/12/2007
Q: I have 3 boys of my own (their father was killed in a car accident). I've been married to a man for ... A: "Head of the household"... what exactly does that mean? I have my own theories but I don't think his ...
recent difficulties	12/10/2007
Q: Over the last year certain difficulties have arisen with myself and my step children, I have ahd a ... A: I could recommend that you allow the girl to make her own sandwich in the morning to her own liking. ...
stepchildren	12/10/2007
Q: I have been reading ur replys regarding stepchildren and proms and parties.i am in the same ... A: My statement is this: Your stepdaughter should be incredibly ashamed of herself. Her behavior is ...
violent stepson	12/8/2007
Q: I have a 17 y.o. stepson that is out of control he punches holes in the walls,destroy ... A: This is very serious. It sounds like the lad should be tested for drug abuse or mental issues. You ...
Being a step dad and dealing with partners Ex	12/8/2007
Q: My girlfriend had a child with her ex 8 years ago, but they broke up after a year due to his form ... A: "We have never wanted to stop contact between them as i believe this to only bad for the boy as he ...
stepdaughter no longer wants to visit	12/7/2007
Q: My fiance's oldest daughter is 14 and no longer wants to spend the weekends with us. He is ... A: This is a typical result of what happens when Daddy tries to buy his child's affection. Instead of ...
stepdaughter inappropriate	12/7/2007
Q: My stepdaughter is 11 and my husband has full physical custody. The problem we have is when she ... A: Throw them away each time you find them. Have your husband write the biomom and tell her of his ...
Uncontrollable resentment towards stepson after birth of baby...	12/6/2007
Q: I have been in a three-year relationship with my boyfriend. He currently has a child from a previous ... A: Why settle for second best? I can see why you are never sure and always unsettled about feelings. ...
i CANT stand my step son	12/6/2007
Q: I just recently got married to my husband after a year and a half of dating. we had a long distance ... A: Hormones rage sometimes out of control when pregnant. But when mixed in an environment such as the ...
girlfriend's 4 year old son - love-hate relationship	12/5/2007
Q: I have been dating my girlfriend very seriously for 2 months now. She has 3 boys 9,7,4. She has ... A: Two months? Man, give it time! He is acting like any typical kid craving attention. You need to ...
Hating my Stepson	12/5/2007
Q: Please help! My 21 year old stepson (I'll call him John) did something recently that has made me so ... A: Counseling. You both need to get into grief counseling to deal with the issues of your husband's ...
My 13-year old daughter hates her new step-father	12/4/2007
Q: My husband and I were married last month. We have been living together with our 4 children since ... A: Counseling... Everything you've described is what you should be doing. Your husband needs to be a ...
Re: Biological Fathers Choices	12/4/2007
Q: I am a new step father and everything is going smoothly. My fiancee's 5 year old calls me Dad and ... A: A five year old with a pierced ear. Do you believe that this five year old was capable of such a ...
Im a childless step mom	12/3/2007
Q: I am getting married in January and will be a step mom to three kids, two of which I get to see all ... A: Laws vary country to country, but I believe that until there is a court order in place outlining the ...
Stepparenting troubled teen	12/3/2007
Q: I could probably write 50 pages on the last six months, so I need to try and be concise here. I ... A: Firstly, let me commend you for staying this long in a highly unpredictable and potentially volatile ...
stepdaughter wants to live with us...	12/2/2007
Q: i am not married to my partner, we were in a relationship and got pregnant and now we have a son who ... A: I think you need to sit down with your partner and read him this letter. There is a lot to being a ...
I CAN'T STAND MY STEPSON	11/29/2007
Q: I have been married to a nice man for the last 1 1/2 year. The problem is his son, who is 15 and ... A: Sadly, there isn't much more I can offer here. Sometimes, in the search of love, we find ourselves ...
Stepfather wants Father to be responsible!	11/29/2007
Q: My daughter is 16 years old and has never seen her biological father. My daughter wants to see ... A: I can fully understand where the stepfather is coming from. He has raised this child and up to now ...
step daughter wants mum to leave	11/29/2007
Q: my girlfriend of two yrs is being pressured intensely by her 12 yr old daughter to end our very ... A: I can't tell you how many times I've seen this happen, where interfering stepchildren control their ...
Stepdaughter Allegations	11/28/2007
Q: I am a Christian, hard working Man in Construction and have been married one time for 12 years. My ... A: My first question after reading this is, has the girl been tested for drug abuse? Has she been ...
Stepdaughter	11/28/2007
Q: Could you please give me some advice. I have had a baby (7 months old) with a man who has a 9 year ... A: The problem here is the biodad. Until he wakes up and sees the damage he's causing, nothing will ...
Manipulative, Sloppy, Lazy, Rude, etc.	11/28/2007
Q: I just recently became engaged and moved in with a man who has two children. A 10 yr old daughter ... A: Ahhhh to live stress free... what a nice world it would be. Sadly, it is not this. Your fiance needs ...
Husband is way too strict on his stepson	11/28/2007
Q: How do I successfully convince my husband that he is too strict on my 11 and 1/2 year old son. It ... A: You've not said how long you've been married. Your husband's feelings towards this lad could stem ...
Meeting the kids	11/28/2007
Q: I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now. I am a very mature 23 years old, career ... A: My comment to this would be, do not let your emotions cloud what is going on right now. If he felt ...
I CAN'T STAND MY STEPSON	11/27/2007
Q: I have been married to a nice man for the last 1 1/2 year. The problem is his son, who is 15 and ... A: You have got to be kidding? This lad swears and cusses at you and your husband does nothing? Let me ...
I'm at my wits end	11/27/2007
Q: My 7 year old SD lives with us full time, and has for nearly two years. I have three teens, 15, 16 ... A: "She is destroying the relationships of everyone in this house, and my ten month old baby does not ...
Husband wants his daughter to live with us	11/27/2007
Q: Her dad works out of state during the week and swears that what I say goes as far as parenting her ... A: This is a personal choice that only you can make. You have to decide if your are willing to do all ...
14 year old stepdaughter	11/26/2007
Q: Please help!!, I recently got remarried after 18 years single to a wonderful man with a 14 year old ... A: The one to do the talking is the dad. He must explain to his daughter that he is always there for ...
My family..	11/25/2007
Q: I have been with my husband for 11 1/2 years, married for 6 1/2 of those years. He had shared ... A: Simple... if he makes this move, inform him that this will be the last move. He will have to remain ...
my daughter	11/24/2007
Q: crystal has been my stepdaughter for 7 years & she is 11 1/2 now we have full custody of her. We ... A: All children heading into the terrible teen era talk back. Moms are home more and are the planners ...
crazy ex	11/22/2007
Q: my husband and i live in Washington state.my husband daughter's mother is very jealous becoz he ... A: Visitation? I would fix the custody issue. This woman is an alcoholic and drug user and raising a ...
Step Daughter cries for biomom/ Mom is controling	11/13/2007
Q: I have been with my fiance for a year now. I am a divorcee with twin girls that are 4yrs. My ex and ... A: This is happening because there are no rules or boundaries in place. You need to take this back to ...
Spoiled Adult Stepson?	11/13/2007
Q: I have been with my husband for over two years now and we've been married since June 2007, I love ... A: The issue seems to be respect, rules and boundaries for the stepsons and the lack thereof. I will ...
problem stepdaughter	11/11/2007
Q: My husband and I married last year. I have one daughter, who is 9, and he has three children - 17 ... A: So allow me to fully understand this... this teen is obnoxious, rude and disrespectful to you in ...
When world collide	11/11/2007
Q: I am a sinlge father raising my 13 year old daughter. Recently, I have begun dating and have fallen ... A: There is an old saying: "If it's not broke, why fix it?" I think this would be a perfect time to ...
should I be watching his children?	11/7/2007
Q: I am a mother to three children, 17,15 (boys) and a 12 yr.old autistic daughter. I separated from my ... A: Yes, you are. If you were not in the picture but he was still working all these hours, would there ...
Do I financially help adult stepdaughter?	11/6/2007
Q: I do not have a good relationship with a 23yr old step-daugher. She is financially out of control. ... A: I think the real question here is... is she capable of learning to change for the better regarding ...
Trusting a Step-Daughter	11/5/2007
Q: I have been with my husband for 4 years. This year his 16 year old step daughter moved in with us. ... A: This is your husband's stepdaughter? I take it then he was married before and was part of a blended ...
Manipulating Ex-Wife	11/4/2007
Q: I started a relationship with my fiance year ago. We hit it off great. He was a divorcee with one ... A: With all due respect, I would say... consider yourself lucky and keep going. Do not look back. The ...
introducing my 3 young boys to a step sister out of wedlock.	11/4/2007
Q: L., I am so confused on what to do here... I have been married to a wonderful man for the past 10 ... A: I give a lot of credit to your husband for his efforts. Shame on this stepdaughter for not seeing ...
Wicked stepmother	11/1/2007
Q: My stepson just turned 14 and has lived with my husband and me full time since he was 10. Prior to ... A: Remember there is a difference between this generation and ours. The kids today have grown ...
Adult (?) Step Daughter	10/31/2007
Q: My husband and I have been married for almost ten years. He had been widowed for five years before ... A: Let me understand this properly... she is 33??? There should be no issue. She is an adult and should ...
Wicked stepmother	10/31/2007
Q: My stepson just turned 14 and has lived with my husband and me full time since he was 10. Prior to ... A: Allow me to ask you this one question... if we were to take the "step" out of "stepson" here would ...
husband and stepdaughter	10/30/2007
Q: My husband and I have been married for seven years(1st marriage for both). We recently found out ... A: Sometimes we don't know what we want until it hits us in the face,so to speak... Legally, your ...
Ex wife drama	10/29/2007
Q: I am currently engaged to a fantastic man who has two daughters from his previous marriage. A ten ... A: First, I would get a lawyer to write the 22 year old a nice letter explaining the consequences of ...
Step Son	10/29/2007
Q: My fiancés 18 year old son moved in with us in March and only planned on staying the summer. The ... A: This is a no brainer, Sara. My first question back to you, is what in the world is the father ...
step children	10/28/2007
Q: i have two step children and now a 11 month old baby to my fiance we have been together now for 3 ... A: The solution is simple. Your fiance needs to step up his disciplining of his kids. He needs to ...
step daugher	10/25/2007
Q: my husband's 17 yr. old daughter has opted to move in with us. she wants to connect more with her ... A: Hmm, a one bedroom apartment for two adults and a teen. I see this as an impossible situation that ...
Bio Mom and Stepdaughters	10/25/2007
Q: Where to start...hubby and I have been together for 4 years. Bio mom (his ex) is a VERY ... A: What you are describing are called bullies. They use manipulation and fear to get what they want. ...
Wife and her stepchildren and their privacy right	10/24/2007
Q: L., I have been married to my wife for 4 years now. Her biological children are 17, 15, and 13. Two ... A: First thing to question is why all the secrecy? Secondly, I would like to stress that any blended ...
Stepson Teen-Age Pregnancy	10/24/2007
Q: My partner and I have been together for 4 years now and are in our eyes married. She has a son ... A: Well, there is one thing apparently that the lad is good at, and that is making babies. This child ...
difficulty with ex wife	10/22/2007
Q: My ex wife continues to tell my daughter she is sick when she is not. At her soccer game saturday ... A: I'm no expert in this field but I did do a bit of research into an issue surrounding hypochondria ...
Help with behavioral issues	10/22/2007
Q: I have four of my own children 8, 5, 3 and 2. My boyfriend has 2 children 5 and 3 that we see 6 ... A: Six children, six times a month? Two are 5 and 3... could there be a bit of jealousy involved with ...
Returning Step-child with lack of respect	10/22/2007
Q: I want to know what should I do about a step-child that has returned home from a 1 year 3 month run ... A: We all want our children, either biochildren or stepchildren, to be successful. I give you credit ...
husband's daughter	10/21/2007
Q: I AM HAVING PROBLEMS IN MY MARRIAGE DUE TO MY HUSBAND'S DAUGHTER. MOST RECENTLY SHE CAME BY OUR ... A: This stepdaughter is twenty-five and an adult. Her father's financial obligations are done. He no ...
Stepdaughter with an Electra complex	10/20/2007
Q: I seriously need some help. My stepdaughter is 18 years old. I have been with her father for 10 ... A: I'm not entirely sure what it is you're asking me, Sally. You have a stepdaughter who is 18 and ...
Step Daughters	10/19/2007
Q: I have two step daughters and they are very diffrent. At least they where until recently. The ... A: If I could count the number of times I've been exactly where you are... and look, I survived. Was it ...
Returning Step-child with lack of respect	10/18/2007
Q: I want to know what should I do about a step-child that has returned home from a 1 year 3 month run ... A: I'm a little confused... where is it written that parents must buy their children a car? I never ...
3 Boys, how to relate to new step children	10/17/2007
Q: I have not quite crossed over the threshold into step-mom land, but am preparing for that move. My ... A: Take your time before becoming fully involved with this family. Your soon to be husband should get ...
stepdaughter cries for mom	10/17/2007
Q: My stepdaughter is 10 and has been crying for her mom since they divorced when she was 4. Her father ... A: You need to get counseling Carly so that you can have coping methods in place to deal with this ...
Boyfriends' kids	10/17/2007
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We are both divorced and our kids were with our ... A: The difference between marrying and becoming a stepparent and then finding out that things are like ...
problematic step child	10/17/2007
Q: I met my husband a year after he'd been divorced. His 3 year old son lives with the mother. The ... A: The issue as I see it, is stability and what instability is doing to the lad. He has no "real" home. ...
Am I a "Step Parent" by default - where to seek help?	10/16/2007
Q: My wife and I married 9 mos ago, she 50 , me 47. We are quite compatible and enjoy life together ... A: Are you a stepfather? You are your wife's husband. Should you learn how to be a parent? I give you ...
shutt in	10/16/2007
Q: My step daughter is 13 years old and has faced many problems since her parents have split up. She ... A: ODD is not a "learned" behavior, but it can be an inherent disorder passed from one to the next. ...
no follow through	10/15/2007
Q: I have been reading some of the other questions and answers. My husband and I have tried to set up ... A: The rules and boundaries set within a household should apply to all children equally, regardless if ...
shutt in	10/15/2007
Q: My step daughter is 13 years old and has faced many problems since her parents have split up. She ... A: My stepdaughter was exactly like this when I married my spouse. However, she started much younger. ...
stepdaughter cries for mom	10/15/2007
Q: My stepdaughter is 10 and has been crying for her mom since they divorced when she was 4. Her father ... A: Your husband is doing exactly that which he can. It is an upward climb with the biomom undermining ...
my new husband is tough on my son...	10/15/2007
Q: this is a very hard issue for me to deal with.... i hope i get some guidance through your answers. ... A: I must give you credit... your plate is full every day, day in and out. This new man in your life ...
Step children	10/15/2007
Q: I recently married into a non traditional family with three step children.It appears that my wife ... A: It is a combined misunderstanding of what is expected of the blended family. I would recommend ...
Difficult new relationship with boyfriend and 8 yr old son	10/14/2007
Q: I met my boyfriend online over three years ago. We took our time getting to know each other and ... A: The best sentence in this entire letter is "he wants to go to family counseling." I say GO! There ...
my husband does not like my son	10/12/2007
Q: My current husband had never been married, no children and pretty much kept himself reclusive,very ... A: If divorce is the decision you have arrived at, do not hesitate, seek help from the police in having ...
dicipline	10/11/2007
Q: Since me and my fiance just got married I am now his 10 and 9 yr old daughters step-mom. They both ... A: Congratulations on your marriage Joleen, The biofather is responsible for disciplining. He can ...
Step-Son Dilemma	10/11/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for 5 years it will be 6 June of 2008. I met my husband and his ... A: "I am getting tired of being treated this way in My home. His dad doesn't really say much. When I ...
my stepfather bullys me	10/11/2007
Q: What should i do. I live with my dad but stay with my mam and her partner on the weekends, he bully ... A: I'm very pleased to see you writing me. It takes great courage as a step-child to discuss an issue ...
stepdaughter	10/11/2007
Q: I feel as though I have to walk out of a beautiful 12 year relationship with my partner because all ... A: So... after 12 years of being in a "beautiful" relationship with a "lovely" man... you are going to ...
stepchildren status when remarried	10/10/2007
Q: My husband has been divorced from his previous wife for 27 years. He had stepchildren in his ... A: Of course. How does one turn on and off being a parent, even if a parent is a step-parent? How does ...
My boyfriends hates my son	10/10/2007
Q: I have been living together with my boyfriend for 6 months and we met 2 y ago. I have my 3 children ... A: I believe there is a serious issue developing here that you need to address immediately. The fact ...
Alternate names	10/9/2007
Q: First of all, I just want to say, "Kudos! to all stepparents out there. I have been blessed since ... A: I am glad to see a success story about stepparenting. Kudos to you! Blessings come in all shapes and ...
re: PARTNER'S BEHAVIOUR	10/8/2007
Q: I really need help. Was I wrong? My partner, his ten year son (nearly 11, my son (16) and myself ... A: I'm not really sure what the issue was. Your partner suffered separation anxiety from his 11 year ...
girlfriend's son is disrespectful	10/7/2007
Q: I have been dating my girlfriend for six months. We are pretty serious and would like to consider ... A: If you are serious about this lady, Mike, then you will need to be very patient and take your time. ...
Fed up!	10/7/2007
Q: L., I am engaged to a wonderful man who has a soon-to-be 7 year old boy. I have been in this ... A: The problem and the resolution to this situation lies within the biodad. There must be rules and ...
My wife has nothing to do with my 10 year old son	10/5/2007
Q: I have been married now for 2 years. My wife has a 16 and 10 sons. I have a 10 son. Over the last 3 ... A: I must ask how it would be if you were to reverse the roles and apply your wife's way of thinking to ...
Help understanding my Stepson	10/5/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for almost 1 year now. I have an 11 yo daughter from a previous ... A: Yes, counseling, but I would recommend counseling through an agency not attached to school. The last ...
Step-parenting	10/5/2007
Q: Greetings, I will try to give you a little history before I ask a question. I have been raising my ... A: It depends on where you are living, Astrid, as to what type of access and restrictions on access can ...
Angry young girl	10/4/2007
Q: I have been dating a wonderful man for the past year. I have been divorced for 7 years with two ... A: Allow me to say this first: I think you and this man should marry. Second, remember, you cannot ...
Help understanding my Stepson	10/4/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for almost 1 year now. I have an 11 yo daughter from a previous ... A: Let me commend you on your wanting to help this lad. However, I think there is a greater issue here, ...
Teenage crisis in stepchildren	10/3/2007
Q: I really wish you can give me some guidance here. I have a rather long story which I shall try to be ... A: I do wish you well with whatever decision you face. Indeed, you have much on your plate to work ...
Will my boyfriend ever accept my son?	10/3/2007
Q: I have an 8 year old son and have been divorced for 3 years. During that time when I have dated only ... A: Wow... I think you already have an idea where this is heading. It is so difficult on single women ...
Meeting my girlfriends 2 year old daughter...	10/3/2007
Q: I am in the military and am currently involved in a long distance relationship. This girl means the ... A: I suggest you keep your first visit simple, light and fun. "Out of twelve months, I can only visit a ...
Help Reconnect with Stepdaughter	10/3/2007
Q: I have been in a relationship with a (now 42 year old) man for the past 5 and a half years. He has ... A: The father needs to decide if he wishes for this relationship to work. Then he needs to set ...
children do what they want	10/2/2007
Q: I have 2 stepdaughters to be, both now teenagers. When I came into there lives (7 years ago) they ... A: No, they are not your children, but you did marry their father. With that said, when do you think ...
Meeting my b-f's 6-year-old daughter.	10/2/2007
Q: I'm 25 and have been with my b-f, Brian, on-and-off for a year and a half. It was back and forth ... A: Please write me back after the 26th court hearing and inform me about the results so that I can make ...
I hate my step daughter	10/2/2007
Q: My husband and I have been together for about 8 years and my husband always had custody of his ... A: Hate is a very strong word. I can completely understand your frustration, conflict, and resentment ...
Jealously w/stepdaughter/biological son	10/1/2007
Q: My fiance' of 6 years and I have a son together and my daughter of my deceased husband. He came into ... A: Besides therapy? You need to get into therapy for learning how to deal with ADD and fast. Your ...
Teenage crisis in stepchildren	9/30/2007
Q: I really wish you can give me some guidance here. I have a rather long story which I shall try to be ... A: First, let me commend you for writing such a well worded letter. Your feelings and beliefs are very ...
14 year old desciding custody	9/30/2007
Q: I'm 14 years old, and I would like to have my custody changed from my mother to my father. My father ... A: It is a tough decision you face, and I hope you've given it much thought based on things beside your ...
4 year old cries for mom	9/29/2007
Q: My 4 year old step daughter and I have always had a really good relationship. She has stayed with ... A: Children go through various stages during development. Your stepdaughter is typically entering the ...
Father going crazy response	9/29/2007
Q: J.L. This is in response to my husbands letter to you. I just wanted to tell my side of the issue ... A: First let me say how happy I am to see your letter. It takes a great amount of courage to come ...
husbands ex wife	9/28/2007
Q: My husband seems to be having problems letting his ex mess with his head.She uses the kids as a ... A: Bitterness has a way of carrying forward into behaviors such as this. The need to get even is ...
My 22 year old step son	9/27/2007
Q: I am in a situation where i married a man who came with two of his three kids, i also have three ... A: I agree. Better yet, ask yourself what all this is doing to the other children that are still home ...
stepmom stepson father going crazy	9/26/2007
Q: Looking for help (need to understand) I have remarried – have a 12-year-old boy from previous ... A: Both of you need to calm down. I can see both of your perspectives here and will address each of you ...
BM and SD issues	9/26/2007
Q: This is VERY long. I apologize: My SD,13, is over for the weekend. Yesterday she was sitting on the ... A: I understand what you are saying. Do you realize that even though you have access of your ...
step daughter	9/25/2007
Q: me and my hudband have been together now for almost 5 years i have 2 children from a previos ... A: There is no problem. You are the adult in the home, your home, and she is the guest... While in your ...
My step son is on his last string	9/25/2007
Q: I have been with my step son for 10 years. He is now 13. We have had school problems since the day ... A: First off, allow me to say well done for taking on a stepparenting role for a child with ADD. I ...
BM and SD issues	9/24/2007
Q: This is VERY long. I apologize: My SD,13, is over for the weekend. Yesterday she was sitting on the ... A: Basically, she is playing all of you... and well. Remove the computer, and eliminate the source of ...
teenage stepson	9/21/2007
Q: I have been a stepfather for about 5 years. Until I was on the scene there was no fatherly figure. ... A: He touches his mother or you in any form of violence, jail. Do not hesitate. If he continues being ...
New baby and being a stepmom	9/20/2007
Q: I am going to sound very unappreciative of the fact that I have a wonderful well mannered and smart ... A: Firstly... breathe! Congratulations on your first baby. You are 8 months pregnant and the hormones ...
So confused	9/20/2007
Q: Alright March of 2006 I met a guy that had 2 children,I fell in love with this guy rigth away, 1 ... A: You made the right decision. Go see the counselor and work your way through your feelings. Give ...
My 20 y/o stepdaughter is stealing from me	9/19/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for 8 years. I have two girls (17 & 19) and he has two girls (20 ... A: Well Peggy, allow me to share a story with you. When I first married my spouse, my one stepdaughter ...
my daughter's new step-parent	9/19/2007
Q: I'm not sure where to even begin my question! I have a very strong willed 13 year old daughter ... A: Welcome to the world of moody teens. Your daughter clearly has issues. Counseling would be in her ...
just seems out of reach...	9/19/2007
Q: kind of a complex question...I have been part of a blended family for 4 yrs. During this time we ... A: This is a concern for marriage counseling. My suggestion without hesitation is to get this ...
my daughter's new step-parent	9/18/2007
Q: I'm not sure where to even begin my question! I have a very strong willed 13 year old daughter ... A: Stop waiving and get your daughter into family counseling with your fiance. Boundaries, respect and ...
just seems out of reach...	9/18/2007
Q: kind of a complex question...I have been part of a blended family for 4 yrs. During this time we ... A: Your husband needs to attend parenting counseling that will enable him to understand why it's highly ...
help with husband & step child	9/17/2007
Q: i hope you can help as i do not know where else to turn. I am in a long term relationship and i got ... A: Sadly, I see this a lot with older men with children and younger women without children who marry. ...
Disciplining step-children	9/17/2007
Q: I have a 14 year old step daughter who has lived with her father since she was 5. She was taken away ... A: ....where to begin. Yes, I do promote leaving the disciplining to the bioparent. However, in a ...
Enough is Enough..where do I go from here?	9/14/2007
Q: L My husband and I married 3 years ago. During out courtship we felt it important to do family ... A: "...harmonious blended family one day..." Well... Here's the deal. I would have your house ...
the other woman	9/13/2007
Q: I have a 3 year old daughter. I was never married, however, our relationship was 4 years, we ... A: Is there anything you can do about new wife and her tirade of calls and texts messages? Make custody ...
Step son	9/11/2007
Q: My husband and I have been together for two 1/2 years. His son was about to turn 2 and my sons had ... A: Nice to see you again. Bipolar, hmmm... I believe you need to follow up with this more. ODD is a ...
my husband doesn't see it...	9/11/2007
Q: My stepdaughter and stepson come to our home each weekend. Their ages are 10 and 11. I have a ... A: Nice to see you again. You must understand that in order for the "family" to do well, you... the ...
Step son	9/10/2007
Q: My husband and I have been together for two 1/2 years. His son was about to turn 2 and my sons had ... A: As I'm reading this, I can't help but feel the tension and constriction you've placed on this whole ...
I resent my 13 year old step daughter!!!	9/9/2007
Q: I feel like a horrible person for feeling the way that I have lately. Ok, let me start with the ... A: Having feelings of resentment towards a child creating havoc in your home is understandable. While ...
my husband doesn't see it...	9/9/2007
Q: My stepdaughter and stepson come to our home each weekend. Their ages are 10 and 11. I have a ... A: One word...counseling. "My husband allows his daughter to get away with things that my daughter is ...
Parenting Stepdaughter killing marriage	8/30/2007
Q: My husband of 3yrs now, and I each had a daughter from previous relationships when we married. The ... A: Yes, a few... Your differences in disciplining can actually compliment each other, if done fairly. ...
Fiance doesn't want to be Stepdad	8/29/2007
Q: I have 3 children ages 6, 10, and 13. I have been dating a man for the past 5 years who has 2 ... A: My first reaction was: "Can I help you pack?" (grins) Of course, that may not be the only solution. ...
stepson	8/28/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for three years. He has an 11 year old with his first wife. She ... A: Are you mentioned in the court order as the person to pick up this lad? Is this your child? Is this ...
new baby and step teenagers	8/28/2007
Q: I have just found out that I'm pregnant ( for the first time), I have two wonderful step daughters ( ... A: Firstly, congratulations! I think you and your husband should sit down and explain to them that ...
Borrow Money to Stepchildren	8/28/2007
Q: My husband's children, ages 25 and 23 are obviously full-grown. I am the stepmother of 4 years and ... A: It is unfortunate that this is happening. Break down of communication within a ...
Borrow Money to Stepchildren	8/27/2007
Q: My husband's children, ages 25 and 23 are obviously full-grown. I am the stepmother of 4 years and ... A: I agree with you. If she (the daughter) were younger, I would have a different position. But if she ...
Strong resentments toward step-son and husband	8/27/2007
Q: my husband (of only two months) and I have been together for a little over two years now and just ... A: First piece of advice: BREATHE! Now, my next piece of advice is to seek out counseling ASAP. ...
My boyfriens's son is driving me nuts!	8/27/2007
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he has an 8 year-old son. In the beginning, his son used ... A: I am sorry to see that you've been ill for two years; I hope it is nothing too serious? In the ...
step son and new baby coming	8/26/2007
Q: I've been married for 5 months and with my husband a total of 1.5 years. He has a 4 year old son ... A: Firstly, congratulations on your new baby! You ask "How can he do this to us?" I'm not exactly sure ...
My in-laws are unfair to my kids	8/25/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for ten years. We have 6 kids. 3 from my previous marriage I am ... A: This is so very sad. I feel for lad. There is no easy solution to this I'm afraid as it's gone on ...
sick to my stomach with stepdaughter and ex	8/24/2007
Q: Please help!!! I'm not sure how to handle this anymore!! I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 ... A: In all this mess, I can't help but wonder what must be going through the child's mind. To think one ...
My boyfriend's daughter	8/24/2007
Q: I am 29 and have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. He has a daughter from his first ... A: Court and counseling will help with issues pertaining to the ex-wife, both sought after by your ...
im lost in words	8/24/2007
Q: I have been with my husband now for 8 years and been married to him for 6 years and I have helped ... A: C.P. Where is the father's involvement here? You need to bring him into the picture and have him ...
I hate my step son.	8/23/2007
Q: Its a really odd situation. My husband split up with his ex before the child was born and I have ... A: The way I see this, there are two issues. One, being your stepson and your anger and resentment ...
step-child	8/22/2007
Q: I have no idea of where my animosity comes from. My husband is a very loving man, who I think I am ... A: Often times, shortly after a birth, a woman suffers from anxiety and post partum depression. You ...
neediness of stepdaughter	8/22/2007
Q: I am constantly plagued with feelings of guilt and self-reproach for not liking the person that my ... A: I bet it felt good writing this letter! You never mentioned how long you've been married. Nor, have ...
supporting 30 year old daughter (my stepdaughter)	8/22/2007
Q: I have been married to my husband for almost 3 years now, he is a wonderful and the sole supporter ... A: I am a firm believer on "tough love." If she is involved with drugs, then any money you've been ...
stepson	8/21/2007
Q: My husband and I have been married for 6yrs I have a 12 yr old daughter (previous) and a 3yr old son ... A: I believe there is a need to control every aspect of what is happening here, but sadly you cannot ...
visitations	8/21/2007
Q: My step-daughters mother has custody and my husband pays full child support. My step-daughters ... A: First, if the mother has custody is there a court order laying out the visitation rights? If not, ...
I hate my step son.	8/21/2007
Q: Its a really odd situation. My husband split up with his ex before the child was born and I have ... A: Hate is a strong word. I believe your are feeling frustrated right now because of the lack of ...
stepson	8/21/2007
Q: My husband and I have been married for 6yrs I have a 12 yr old daughter (previous) and a 3yr old son ... A: Where to start... I believe with the ex the issue is about pregnancy and the inability to have more, ...
19 year old daughter	8/20/2007
Q: I have a 19 year old daughter that is still living at home, going to school and working part-time. ... A: Stop fighting with him. I have gone through this very same thing but as the stepparent, not the ...
Teenager Concerned About Step-Mom	8/20/2007
Q: First off, I'm not a parent, I'm a step-daughter, age 15(I know this is pretty much an 'advice on ... A: First let me commend you in your mature take on all this. Allow me to offer a personal insight. Not ...
Step son	8/19/2007
Q: I have been with my partner for 2 1/2 years who has a 15 year old son who has lived with him pretty ... A: Entering an already established family is difficult at best, but to enter one where the child of the ...
Step son hates me	8/19/2007
Q: I am in a same sex "Marriage" - we were married in Canada but live in the USA. Anyway, We met 2 ... A: I can feel your anxiety coming from this letter and wish I could offer you all the solutions to the ...
Troubled Stepson - Please Help	8/18/2007
Q: I have been married to my wife for approx two years now. When we first met, she was going through a ... A: After all the explanation you provided, I was a bit surprised to see that your only question was ...
Step son	8/17/2007
Q: I have been with my partner for 2 1/2 years who has a 15 year old son who has lived with him pretty ... A: Welcome to the world of a stepparent. Teenagers at the best of times love to push the buttons of ...
stepson lynig	8/16/2007
Q: First of all,my ss is an only child w/his bm she can't have anymore kids so treatment for him is ... A: Have you ever considered investing in a good nanny camera? The boy has some serious issues that need ...
Boyfriend & Son article...	8/15/2007
Q: I recently read your response to the letter entitled Boyfriend & Son. I can relate to the lady ... A: I've taken the liberty of reading this letter over. I can't help but think that you've managed well ...
How to get my step kids to respect me?	8/15/2007
Q: My step children are 15 yrs (girl) and 13 yrs (boy)and I am married for 4 yrs. This is my first ... A: First can I just say, your desire to fix all of this and take care of these children is commendable. ...
How to deal with the controling ex and how to gain love and respect from my future stepchild	8/14/2007
Q: I have met and fallen in love with a lovely woman and her son of 3 years. Two problems trouble me ... A: The down side to this, could be the issue that you may not be married to this woman? There are legal ...
Boundaries for ex's	8/13/2007
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating (living together in my home) for 3 years. I am a widow twice at ... A: Being a stepparent is difficult at best on any given day. I commend you for your compassion and ...
Disciplining Stepchildren	8/10/2007
Q: My husband of 2.5 years has two daughters, 13 and 12. My bio daughter is 13. The girls get along ... A: Firstly, breathe! Welcome to the world of indecisive stepparenting. You are not alone. Your husband ...
Unneeded advice from my steapdad	8/10/2007
Q: My stepdad thinks he knows everything and i mean everything. If you do something one way he can ... A: You are away at College, consider yourself lucky! Feel bad for your mother who cannot get away like ...
step child from his second marriage	8/9/2007
Q: I need your help! My new partner (not live in) has 16 year old triplets from his first marriage and ... A: I have read this letter a few times before writing my response. I believe you have several ...
Step children	8/9/2007
Q: How do I deal with my stepchild, who is 9 years old, when she is being very disrespectful to her dad ... A: There seems to be a bit of jealousy of the 3 year old and anger towards her dad that I believe could ...
Lazy step-son	8/9/2007
Q: I need help! A little background. I have two 17 year old daughters from a previous marriage and ... A: First get rid of the computer and television. Make it less available to him. Lock both away or ...
resenting stepchildren	8/8/2007
Q: My partner and I have been together 6 years. He has three children who live with two different ... A: I would like to offer you this advice. Waiting to have children of your own because you are too busy ...
Teenage Step son living with us	11/28/2006
Q: My 15 year old step son has come to live with his father and our family 3 months ago. We were ... A: Simple, counseling and fast. Secondly, you need to talk to your husband and get him to understand ...
Time to grow up	11/23/2006
Q: I have been with my current partner for 2.5 years and I absolutely adore him. He is intelligent, ... A: Welcome to the world of step-parenting. He's 18 and only visits once a week and every other weekend. ...
ex wife	11/21/2006
Q: Everything blown to pieces after stepdaughters wedding, I have been with her dad for 25 years. One ... A: Sadly, none. I think what's done is done, you cannot turn back the clock. I suggest you allow your ...

All Questions in This Category

Email this page