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Parenting --Teens/parental/teen nudity at home

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Sjoerd wrote at 2009-07-08 13:19:53
I don't agree with the harsh answer above me. I understand you're in favour of family nudity. I actually don't think she's indicating it since she doesn't remove her underwear in front of you when she turned around. However, that doesn't have to mean she's uncomfortable seeing you in the nude. Maybe you could ask her someday. If I was a father, i would also be comfortable infront of my daughter nude, but only if she is comfortable with it too.


Aussie wrote at 2009-09-01 12:40:12
I totally disagree with this response. Nudity, if approached appropriately, can be a very positive tool to removing the stigma of body image from a child. If she is being nude in front of you, best you talk with her about it. More over, best act appropriately, which would be to act as if there is nothing wrong with family nudity, that it is just her nude body and that it is totally natural.


Cancerian ENFJ wrote at 2009-09-05 18:42:11
Partially ignore the "Dad's who do, go to jail" answer, it's BS. If your daughter wants to be naked in front of you, and if you get the sense that it's healthy (use your Dad intuition on this, AND talk to your Wife), and you know that you can handle it, then casually find ways to start talking about it. Don't be pushy though, let her create the windows (at least, until you've openly talked about it).



For instance, the next time your Daughter starts changing in front of you, you could say something like "I'm so happy you feel comfortable enough to change in front of me sweetie/[insert something you call her here]. I hope you know I'm proud of your body, and you're a beautiful girl" (although you do run the risk of making her self-conscious with that.) But tailor it to your daughter - don't mimic the example I gave unless you know (using your Dad intuition) that it's the perfect thing for her.



Another important thing will be being very open to giving and receiving love with your Daughter. If she can come up to you, put her head in your chest, and say "Dad, I need to talk about something. Can you hug me while we talk?", then you're probably in pretty good shape. Tenderness is paramount - nudity within a family (generally speaking) is about emotional connection. So make sure your connection with her is full of love and care. Though, it's possible that conflict between you and her could be caused by her wanting to be naked in front of you, and a resulting feeling of rejection when she thinks that you wouldn't be okay with that (just a possibility).



Finally, make sure you don't seem tense or uncomfortable when she talks about her body (even her period), changes in front of you, etc. Better yet, if you accidentally "walk-in" on her (I wouldn't recommend using this as a way to initiate a conversation with her about it), don't seem shocked/surprised/upset/bothered. If she seems upset by it, calmly say "Oh! Sorry honey" and walk out. If she doesn't seem bothered, use your Dad-intuition to decide what to say (such as the example I gave in paragraph 2), and whether or not you should say.



The bottom line is be her Dad. Be her protector. Help her feel closer to you. Give her affection. But should she seem uncomfortable at any point, know that it could be one of two things (although other things are possible). Either she's truly uncomfortable, in which case you gracefully cease your efforts to see what she wants, or she's just nervous about your disapproval. In which case, you can insert something such as "It's okay sweetie, you don't have to be ashamed around me. I'm your Dad, remember?". But I cannot stress enough, use your Dad intuition with this. I can't tell you exactly what to do, because I don't know your Daughter like you and your wife do.



Finally, be patient. It may take anywhere from a single 1 hour conversation to 6 months (or more!) to truly find out what she needs. Love her, outwardly, at every increment along the way.


outdoornude wrote at 2009-09-22 19:20:23
As a parent in a family is nudist, I disagree with the above answer. However I would suggest talking about it in an open non-nude setting. Explain your thoughts on being nude in the company of family and your views on the human body. My children have seen all of us nude and experienced many nude times with other families. I now have two children in college who choose to wait until they found the right person to have their first time at sex. When I asked them what made them wait till they were 18 and 19 and in serious relationships, they stated that they wanted to find that right person. They had learned from all our nude experiences what the male and female body looked like and it was not so curious driven to see what is under the clothes as it was to find all the more important parts (personality, sense of humor and truly who is this person. Where most of their friends simply wanted to see what was under the clothes and got in over their head! Talk to her as a family and show her nothing to be shy about its just a human body.


roguelogo wrote at 2009-12-27 15:39:30
I only partially disagree with the answer above.  I don't believe there is anything wrong with her changing with you in the room.  She is after all you daughter.  However, I don't believe you should encourage or discourage this behavior.  Just leave it alone unless you are uncomfortable with it.  If you are uncomfortable, then you should express that to your daughter and ask her to respect that.  Believe me, if she becomes uncomfortable, it will stop.


michael wrote at 2010-07-01 09:04:45
I think a great deal depends on how your family as whole treat nudity. Maybe she is more comfortable being nude and is testing you to see how you will respond. Daughters are usually not concerned with their mothers seeing them nude. The next time she starts to change in front of you, get up and walk in front of her and see how she responds. If she is uncomfortable she will let you know..if she is comfortable with you seeing her nude then she will not do anything , at that point you can discuss her nudity options with her and your wife.


Jayac wrote at 2011-01-22 23:31:01
that is a typical answer from a clothing family!



Curtis - i think your daughter is trying to tell you something, but what that is i dont know. Maybe she wants to give nudism a go? I did and i love it, as do other friends of mine. What is important is to talk to her and ask her about it. Just say, that if she wants to be naked around the house that she can, and that if she doesnt can she please stop undressing in front of you in her room. Is your community a rough one? Often the sexuall trends of a communtiy can affect young teens.



The best thing to do is just talk to her and see what she says.


Jayac wrote at 2011-01-22 23:31:12
that is a typical answer from a clothing family!



Curtis - i think your daughter is trying to tell you something, but what that is i dont know. Maybe she wants to give nudism a go? I did and i love it, as do other friends of mine. What is important is to talk to her and ask her about it. Just say, that if she wants to be naked around the house that she can, and that if she doesnt can she please stop undressing in front of you in her room. Is your community a rough one? Often the sexuall trends of a communtiy can affect young teens.



The best thing to do is just talk to her and see what she says.


beto wrote at 2012-10-09 06:32:23
I will said "imitation "that is what u need to do like went u talk funny for a baby or u other words do as she does and make sure is normal or u will make her feel like a weird person, about wife u do needto talk to her, I think if she want to be a doctor support her if she want to be nudist why won't u support that, remember we r parents to support our kids not to judge then we teach the safer ways to get to what their passion is no punish them for like different things than us, i. Remember allow her to be nude with her family is better than she getting nude behind ur back with people u may don't know with who knows what intention, is all about "teaching confidence, family values, and safety ".


shaddamtheiv wrote at 2014-07-02 05:02:12
I find this answer to be very feminist in its response.  There is nothing wrong with families being nude in front of each other.  There are many nudist clubs throughout the United States where this type of lifestyle is lived.  



The whole dads who do go to jail is what is wrong with out country.  You make this into something sexual when it doesn't have to be.  What is wrong with you people? That is the real question.


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