AboutM. Kay Keller Expertise Questions concerning Teens & the developmental stages that they are in. It doesn`t matter what the psychological or emotional behavior they are exhibiting. What matters is that you ask the questions & search out solutions!
FOLLOW ME: I now have a TWITTER account for updates on the latest in Family & Parenting Tips!
http://twitter.com/Allfamilies
Do you have both teens and toddlers in the house? Look for me at:AllExperts>Parenting/Family>Parenting of Multiples>Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers
Follow up questions please speak to me anonymously in person I can be reached at: http://www.ingenio.com/Family SolutionsInc or 1-888-INGENIO extension - 081865.
Experience I have worked with Teens in the school system through programs to provide life adjustment classes and with the Substance Abuse Prevention programs.
Organizations National Council on Family Relations & Prevention Research
Awards and Honors International Who's Who of Professionals & Departmental Honors in Psychology
Past/Present Clients Grandparents raising grandchildren, Teen parents, parents who have seperated/divorced, parents with children experiencing substance abuse issues, parents in need of parenting classes, parents who have experienced the death of a child/infant. Over 20 years of successful professional experience with children and families.
Question First off, I am not a parent so it's not a parenting issue in the srict sense. But I speak for a group of people who are really worried about a friend of ours.
He, J., is 19 and works in a cafe. He engaged in a sexual/love affair with a woman who is well over 40 and happens to own the cafe he works at together with her husband. They have a daughter aged 18. To us (a group of his friends aged 18 to 30 who also frequent the cafe) it seems that she is using him to get back at her husband. J. doesn't agree, saying "she really feels what he feels and she understands him". He is a fairy mentally instable person (grew up in a patchwork family, lost his father early) and has had a history with drugs we're not sure is over. We really feel the need for an intervention. He's been homeless for two weeks and now lives with her. Thus he is totally dependent on her for shelter and income. We believe that sooner than later she will drop him when he fulfilled his role as a tool in this disturbing constellation, leaving him devastated, jobless and homeless. We're not sure what we should do as he doesn't listen to what we've been trying to tell him. But we can't just sit and watch this disgusting show.
M.
A worried friend
Answer Dear Merci,
Don't sit and watch anymore. As a matter of fact find something else to do with your time. While you may not agree with the situation both parties are over 18. The interesting part of life is each of us has to learn and grow at our own rate and none of us learns as much from other people's experiences or from pleasing others as we do from our own experiences and pleasing ourselves.
For whatever reason this young man has chosen this path. It is his path not yours.
While you all have very large hearts put them to good use and volunteer where you can make a difference with someone who wants your advice.
