Parenting --Teens/I think my son is hiding things from me
I just found out that my 16 year old son has a 2 year old son and he also just got a girl pregnant four months ago. I don't understand how that could have even happened. I try my best to make sure he stays safe. I have even given him condoms and I always tell him that he could talk to me about anything he needs to talk about. The most confusing part for me if that he says he's gay. Why would he have sex with girls if he's gay?
I had him when I was 16 as well. Is that why he is doing this?
This is all just really confusing for me.
Based on what you reported your son's actions are not necessarily a result of your having a child at 16. There are many factors at play here but the most important to understand is the sexual culture he finds himself. I would bet that he is fairly heavy into porn and as a result has created a fantasy of what sex is based on the views he sees. The real problem with pornography is the altered state of reality it forces the mind to accept. Mostly men , but an increasing number of women are training their minds toward the unattainable sexual fantasy of porn.
Your son needs help. Offering him condoms is actually the wrong message. It's an easy rational jump from using a condom to have sex and then not, why would he care he's only the guy who wants some place to get off. You need to sit him down and tell him the truth about what porn is doing to him. He needs to know of the consequences and you should start making him responsible for the lives he's created, these are not disposable dolls, their babies, with feelings and needs and he will continue to act irresponsibly untill he is made to understand.
In relation to his being gay, it's only an excuse for getting off. It's a lot easier to hook up with another guy who also doesn't care than it is with a girl, so his attitude toward sex has skewed his basic and natural drive now includes homosexual encounters. If he continues he will find sex much more often and easier to deal with, no commitment needed with another male, all he wants now is sex and he really doesn't care where he gets it or what the consequences are.
His risky behavior will end in disaster, it really already has with the child and the one on the way. He is gong to get an std and aides is a very real possibility. You need to get him to understand the risks, make him take responsibility for his child , force him to get a job or ...I hate to say it or cut him loose, he is a danger to others as well as himself, he' also using I'm sure it's part of the culture , a culture he is well within.
Are there any men in his life that can mentor him? He needs a strong moral male to sit on him and move him in the right direction. The alternative is more babies, more unprotected sex, more drugs and desease.....think long and hard about your son and the future you think he deserves and act quickly...