Parenting --Teens/17 year old son
My ex-wife has kicked our 17 year old out of her house. He is now in my house where I live with my fiancÚ. My fiance has left for awhile to try to give us some space to work things out as the place is just 700 sf. My ex felt the girl was too drunk to leave on her own and insisted that she call her mother to come get her. An argument ensued and they broke past her and the girl left. When our son came back she slapped him out of frustration because a very similar situation had occurred several weeks earlier where she came home and found 5 of his friends sitting outside and when she went into the house went to my son's bedroom and found him attempting to revive a naked young lady who was passed out and vomiting. He had her in the shower trying to wake her up. Very dangerous. Later she found a stash of bottles of hard alcohol, marijuana smoking devices, several viles of THC type of stuff, and get this, a stun gun.
He is in his senior year of high school, flunking out, and missing a lot of classes. He was suspended yesterday for one day for aggressive behavior with a visiting student nurse, trying to get her to put her phone number in his cell phone. She reported him in detail. Even with the woman's email testimony he denies it happened that way. He is exhibiting disturbing behavior in regard to doing this to many strangers; telling them to put their number in his phone. Amazingly most of them do it. We are now concerned about this behavior, along with the alcohol and the drugs, (marijuana) and the lack of doing anything in school. He also has a low level of respect for his parents.
We have recently considered sending him to Wilderness Therapy for several months, or some kind of intervention, or someplace to go. These places are not cheap though. Would appreciate your frank advice.
Frankly speaking most of the problems faced by your son may be related to the past divorce between you and your ex-wife. But regardless of the reasons why he needs to start taking responsibility for his own actions and that cannot be done until he is forced to suffer the consequences of what he does or does not do.
Wilderness therapy has worked for many troubled youth and for some the changes are dramatic. for some it only intensifies their desire to move toward self destruction with many of the causes of those feelings stemming from parental relationship, past abuse and the onset of drug use as a means of dealing with the disappointments of life.
His attitude toward sex and drugs seems to be his attempt toward self medication and or numbing agents to squash the feelings of hurt and fear, but again despite his poor choices he needs to start moving toward self realization and accepting of his past and moving toward a positive future.
the Wilderness option is a good one you may want to look at a few before deciding and you may want to look at other rehab options but in any choice you make you and your ex-wife will have to be involved you will always be his parents and I suspect the problems he's having are deeply related to the two of you.
Good luck this is indeed a difficult time for all of you.