Parenting --Teens/Do you think this is fair?


QUESTION: I had an American US born (in the 1980ís) who was raised by British born parents told me that he had the skills to live and work in Europe/UK as easily as his British parents can. He also told me that all those Americans you see walking the streets in the United States in front of you would be hated if they were to travel abroad (outside the United States), including Canada because they cannot properly present them selves abroad. He says that according to the Europeans only Americans who are in the same stature as president Barrack Obama/Michelle Obama (same mentality) have the skills to live and work in Europe including the UK. An Italian who has immigrated to the United States in the 1960ís at the time of The Beatles was aware that this is the case in the United States because his parents explained this to him when he was a small child. All children (both male and female) that are born in the United States, that are raised when they are an infant/toddler/child by European born mothers (some times grand mothers) should have the skills to live and work in Europe for the same reason Barrack Obama/Michelle Obama (same mentality) even if they haven an American father. Tiger Woods has two children with a Swedish/European born woman not an American woman, because it is very difficult to find an American woman that is willing and capable of raising her children the same way as Barrack Obama/Michelle Obama (same mentality) and respect his parental rights in a diplomatic friendly manner in case of a divorce. Tiger Woods also does not want to pay court ordered child support and be driven out of the live of his children, and be treaded as criminal/crap/garbage by an American woman in the corrupt US family court system. This is also the reason why European man and many US born man European raised man with European born mothers should only marry European women and it would be very dumb to get involved with American women. American man generally should marry American women because most foreign man canít handle American man.

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ANSWER: My Dear, whomever you are, and wherever you are from, you have been sadly misinformed by somebody who obviously knows NOTHING about the USA, or the people who live here.

The USA is called a "Melting Pot" for a good reason. We are made up of people from every culture and country in the world. We generally love everyone, realizing that different areas produce people with different ideas and beliefs. We love learning about these differences, and expanding our own lives as we make room for more understanding.

When I was in my 20's, I moved to France for a year, and experienced no problems. This nonsense of how I "present myself" makes me fall on the floor in fits of giggles. I am who I am; I "present" nothing but the honesty of who I am, and seem to get along fine with everyone.

Before he married me, my husband spent two years living in Brazil. He served as a missionary there, and it was a good exchange of cultural and religious beliefs for both the Brazilians and himself. He returned to America with a wonderful understand and love for the people of Brazil.

My husband and I were born and raised here in America, by American parents for many generations (well, my husband's paternal grandmother was born in Sweden, but she embraced America with both arms, and had no problems living here.) Anyway, we had the opportunity to move to Scotland when our first two children were young. (He worked for an American company who needed his particular expertise to set things up in the UK.) We had an enjoyable year there, and were then asked if we would be willing to live in the Netherlands, which we did for a year and a half. We enjoyed our stay very much, and have had our Dutch and Scottish friends visit us here, and we have visited them there. No problems or issues at all.

It sounds to me as if you have been listening to some very foolish people, with very old-fashioned ideas about a caste-system which does not exist in the USA. I don't value one friend above another because of their status. We have a friend who was a US Congressman for many years, and I'm also friends with a woman I hire to help me clean my house. She and I went to lunch the other day and had a great time. I believe we are all equal in the eyes of God, and this is all that really matters.

Our oldest son has been married for seven years to a lovely young woman whose mother was born in Mexico. I  will include a photo of us here, so you can see how life really is in the USA. I took this photo on Saturday. It shows our grandson's first birthday cake, which was made entirely by his very talented and beautiful half-Mexican mother. His father is taking a picture, and his brother, who is six, is blowing out the candle for him, because he is too young to do it himself. See? Cooperation.

Life is NOT what you read in shiny magazines, online, or watch on soap operas, TV "entertainment magazines" or dramatic movies. Do you honestly believe whatever you've heard about Tiger Woods and his divorce is true? I'm a photojournalist. I can tell you right now that whatever is going on between Tiger and Elin is PRIVATE. It is SEALED by a court order. Nobody has a right to view it except the people involved. You are believing something that was MADE UP by a false journalist who is paid to make things up to get people angry. Do not fall for it! It is lies! While no court system is perfect, I have sat in on many proceedings, and have seen judges go to extreme levels to do what is right for all parties concerned. Divorce is never pleasant, but I would put the US family court systems up as being as good or better than any anywhere else in the world. They do the best they can under some very challenging circumstances.     

For the most part, we get along here in America because we expect to get along. We are honest in our dealings with each other, and expect others to be honest with us. We recognize we have all come from different places, have different backgrounds, and different beliefs. We allow everyone the freedom to do what they want to do, as long as their desires do not interfere with ours. For example, just because my Vietnamese neighbors may enjoy eating dog meat does not give them the right to kill and roast my pet dog. Or, if I want to have a party with dancing and loud music, it is my right to do so, but I must consider my neighbor works early, and so I will turn down the music by 10:00 pm so he can sleep.

The idea that someone should never marry a person from another country is not only outdated, it is silly. Will you need to work harder in your marriage to understand the cultural differences? Certainly; but hopefully you have entered into the union with your eyes open, and will learn to compromise and love each other for who they are on the inside-not the place of their birth.

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QUESTION: Do you know an American woman who is willing to raise children the same way as president Barrack Obama/Michelle Obama (same mentality) and give the father equal parenting time in case we separate? A European women will have to verify that the American women is capable and be trusted to do the job. I know several European women that will verify if the American women can be trusted to do the job. I know that there are some good Americans mothers but they are very difficult to find.

An Italian born mother told me that, ninety percent of American women can not be trusted (can not properly present them selves abroad). Most US born women who are raised by a European born mother can be equally be trusted as their European born mother and should have the skills to live in Europe. An Italian man was aware of this since the late 1960s (the time of the Beatles) because his parents explained to him almost 45 years ago. That is what he told me. I know American man that have told me that 90 percent of American women can not be trusted, because the Europeans have explained this to him.

I know several American man that have told me that 90 percent of American women can not be trusted because the Europeans have explained to him. Those same American men ask European women to determine if American women can be trusted. One of them is my American friend, he knows that 90 percent of American women can not be trusted, but he knows that his second American wife can be trusted, because a European women says so.

The point of the story is that the American wife (born in 1990) of my American friend and his American daughter (born in 2012), has the skills to live and work in Europe (would be liked in Belgium) for the same reason that American diplomats that work for the American Embassy in Brussels can. The reason why I know that is because a European woman told me so. The same European mother also told her son and me that, 90 percent of American women can not be trusted and can not live in Europe with there behavior and mentality and are a piece of crap. This is 100 percent because of the way she was raised by her mother when she was a infant/toddler/child. You as a person have no control over how you are raised by your parents when you are an infant/toddler/child.

Oh. ONE European woman told you so? If I were you, I'd get a second opinion.

What kind of a lame idea is it that "90% of American women cannot be trusted." Excuse me. I'm an American woman. I and 89% of my female friends can be trusted to do what is right, particularly in regard to our children. Why do you anticipate divorce? Why not do everything you can to build your relationships and care for your children? Why do you set the Obama's up as perfection? Good grief; if they divorced, I'm sure there would be some heat, but they work together. I see no plans for a future divorce between them-why should you? Don't you have a life of your own to consider?  

You continue to spout nonsense about something with which you have NO experience. You must be either very, very young, or very uninformed.

Come to America and see life for yourself. That's the only way you'll ever find the truth.

I'm sorry I spent so much time attempting to reason with someone whose mind was already made up to the contrary. Pardon me for thinking you asked a serious question.

Before you go dashing off, believing every American woman is X, Y or Z, get to know us. Go to the source. If you can't come here, read some blogs by real women. Here are some to get you started:

I don't even know if you're male or female, but I know you suffer from one thing: stereotyping people into a category to justify your hatred of them. Sad.

Please don't contact me again. I have no room in my life for people who have closed their minds to the possibilities in life.  

Parenting --Teens

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My own dysfunctional youth in an alcoholic family helped me decide to raise my children with love, acceptance, and honesty. It must have worked. We`ve got terrific kids. Those I've answered on this site usually feel I've been helpful in their unique situations. Our world is so much better when we lift instead of crushing. Every child is worth more than any bank can hold. If I can help at all, it will be in teaching both parent and child of their own personal value to humanity, and how to punch through the noise of the moment to find their greater purpose. Together, we can all make a better world.


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