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Parenting --Teens/son is 17 will not obey rules stays out late and sells his stuff for money instead of working part-time

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My son is 17 and can"t live without a girl in his life, sometimes I think he is a stalker. he sells things we bought for him that cost twice as much as for just gas money. he doesn't do drugs. he want work part time at our restaurant he wants hands out. he hangs around people who are much older who are trouble. he want listen and yells at us and tells us to shut the hell up. he wrecked his dads corvet going a 140 miles a hr lost his liscense for 30 days been to court 2 or 3 times for tickets and tells us he don't care . we are ready to throw him out please help us. we took him to counseling every week for the last two months he wouldn't go tonight and I am at my wits end.

Answer
Hello Gerri,
I'm sorry to hear that your son is out of control.
One option you have is to kick him out. But you can also try to gain some measure of control by simply cutting off all rewards, hand outs, privileges, and money. At the same time, you can tell him that there are new rules and give him two or three basic rules (treat others in the family with respect, come home by 11:00 pm, etc.). He has to follow these rules in order to get anything from you. He can have a bed to sleep in and he can eat with the family, but otherwise the only way he can get anything from you is by having followed the rules you set for him.
If this does not produce any positive results in 30 days, then you can consider kicking him out.
Any questions?
James Windell

Parenting --Teens

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James Windell

Expertise

I am a parent trainer, psychotherapist, and author specializing in parenting issues.During the past 40 years I`ve worked with parents with discipline problems and challenging children. I give frequent lectures and workshops related to discipline, social skills, and aggressive children. I consult with various agencies and schools where there are child behavior problems. I am listed in the American Psychological Associations` media panel as an expert on parenting and am frequently quoted in leading magazines and newspapers.

Experience

I have worked in a juvenile court as a clinical psychologist and as a psychotherapist in private practice. In the Oakland County (MI) Juvenile Court, I developed an award-winning parent training program for parents of adolescent delinquents. In addition I have done group therapy with adolescent delinquents using a social skills-building model. I have consulted with courts, schools, churches, preschools, and domestic violence shelters in areas of parenting.

I received my BA with a major in Psychology in 1963 from Wayne State University. I got my MA in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University in 1972.

I am a member of the American Psychological Association and the Michigan Psychological Association. I have written pamplets, newspaper articles, and professional journal articles. I have been the Coping With Kids columnist for several newspapers for 26 years, and my columns appear weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been the author or co-author of 16 books. My books include, 8 WEEKS to A WELL-BEHAVED CHILD, CHILDREN WHO SAY NO WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO SAY YES, 6 STEPS TO AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT TEENAGER, and THE FATHERSTYLE ADVANTAGE. My most recent parenting book (2012) is THE EVETYTHING CHILD PSYCHOLOGY AND DEVELOPMENT BOOK. I have appeared on over 180 radio and TV shows related to my books and parenting. For more information about me, my books and columns, go to my website at Jimwindell.com

Education/Credentials
I have an M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University.

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