Parenting --Teens/Re: Need Help Please
I am writing regarding my relationship difficulty with my son. I have raised him since he was a baby as a single father and have given him and his twin sister my best financially and emotionally. Also both of my children were able to spend time with their mother regularly there were no fights or disagreements between their mom and I she decided to move away when they were 5 years old but saw them regularly.
Both my son and his twin sister graduated from College and are very intelligent, after my son graduated I have opened a small business for him which he seems to enjoy and make a good living from it and I do not get anything nor expect anything from him or his business however I am having a very difficult time with my son in our relationship he appears to out of nowhere almost daily basis unload his anger and is extremely abusive towards me in any conversation we may start which ends up him exploding almost as if he has rage within as if he has Bi-Polar type symptoms.
I have always lowed and shown compassion both of my children throughout their life but it is very disappointing for me to be subjected his abusive behavior and complete disrespect after all of the sacrifices I have given for past 23 years.
I have suggested for both of us to see an independent therapist to guide and counsel both of us to better our relationship but he continues to think it is me and I am the problem and will not see a professional.
I would appreciate your suggestions as to what to do since I have asked my son repeatedly not to be abusive or take his anger out on me but with no success. I have many friends and they all adore me and are very respectful towards me over many years I am just not sure what the issues are with my son I am at a point to distance my relationship with him he brings out the worst in me.
Look forward to your guidance. Thank you for all of your help and time in advance.
without knowing you are your son my first thoughts were about drug use. Irrational behavior often starts when one is using illegal substance. That might be something to consider. I also think that no matter how amicable your divorce was there are often consequences that show up years later. That could be happening here. Finally, you may have a raised a spoiled kid. Everything you write talks about what you did for them not what they accomplished on their own. Thus, I wonder if there is some selfishness your son has and he expects you to do more to make his life easier. If you are seeing a therapist I am not going to give you suggestions, but hopefully some of these options will open your eyes to things a bit more.