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Parenting --Teens/Found pic of sons friend smoking weed



To start off with some background info.....

My son has been having issues with smoking weed and we are currently awaiting his sentencing on may 13. Most likely he will test positive for marijuana and his punishment will be 30 days detention. He hangs with the wrong crowd who all do it as well. His best friend also smokes. I have been in contact with his mother regarding things that they do so she can have an idea of what her son does. I know these things because i check my sons text messages and his facebook messages. She is a single mother and has just kind of given up on trying to find a way to help fix the problem. Im wondering on how to handle this latest thing. I was looking at my sons phone this morning and there are quite a few pics of the friend smoking weed out of a bowl. Should I send these pics to her? Or will it be overkill? I dont tell her each time i know they are smoking because it would pretty much be each day. But would this be a "reminder" that she needs to keep closer tabs on him?

I have pretty much resorted to the fact that my son is going to smoke no matter what i do. We constantly take his things away, see a psychologist and a substance abuse counselor. None works. Im now leaving his fate up to the courts. He knows what is coming and can make that choice.


My apologies for not responding sooner. I have been ill this past week.  In answer to your question, yes, I believe you should share the pictures. I also disagree with your thought that you are not able to stop your son's desire to smoke. As long as you are responsible for his daily existence, you have a large influence on what he does and does not do.

I would look into parenting classes such as "Parent Project" that are designed for parents of strong willed youth.  Another great resource is a book called, "Yes Your Teen is Crazy" by Dr. Mike Bradley. Both will tell you the same message, it's time to be strong, consistent and in control of his environment.

If you are ready to tackle your son's behavior and are unable to find parenting classes in your area, email me back and I can get you started on here.

Good Luck

Parenting --Teens

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Penny K


I enjoy assisting parents in parenting atypical teenagers that do not respond well to normal parenting techniques. I am able to provide parents with a straight forward behavioral approach that has proved to be successful.


My husband and I have raised 31 daughters, 29 of our children were foster teens who ranged in age from 11-18. I was a site director for a local group home for adolescent girls, an Executive Director for the Children's Policy Council and the Executive Vice President for a residential treatment facility that specialized in alcohol and drug treatment for adjudicated adolescent males and provided comprehensive assessment to adolescents in the custody of the state. I have been a staff trainer for the Boys Town Model of Care and for the past 10 years I am the lead facilitator for the Parent Project parenting class in my county. In the past 20 years of my career I have assisted over 2000 adolescent youth and their families.

Boys Town Behavioral Management Trainer Parent Project Facilitator

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