Parenting --Teens/Legal Swim Wear



I do not know whether or not you can answer my questions, but I'll ask. Perhaps you may know or will know whom I can ask.

1. Is it illegal for an underage girl (younger than 18) to wear a thong bikini on a public beach or pool?

2. Is it also illegal for her to wear one at her parents home pool?

It would most likely vary from state to state perhaps.

I thank you for any helpful answer you can offer.

Dear Kenneth,

I think you have already answered the question. Legally this would be the kind of thing that is regulated by local laws, so checking with the local law enforcement folks is probably the best way to get a definitive ruling on the subject. It would probably be good to check with whomever is controlling the pool or public beach for a specific answer for that location.

I am thinking, though, that the reason for your question is because you are hoping to use the answer as a way of controlling the clothing (or lack of clothing) choice of your teenage girl. I am assuming that there is another parental reason, other than her getting in trouble legally, for your concern. My guess would be concern for her safety and/or her reputation. Both are legitimate reasons. They need to be explored with your daughter in an adult conversation.

I emphasize "adult conversation" because this is the kind of thing that needs her to buy into the final decision. "Because I told you so!" only works up to about age 13 (maybe). After that, if there is no buy in on the part of the teen, they will either give you lip service and you will feel real good having won until you learn later that she did it sneakily anyway, or you will get a huge fight and/or outright defiance.

All that can be avoided by having an adult conversation on the issue. The chances are that you would not be issuing edicts to your spouse. You would attempt to use reason to make a convincing argument. Well, your daughter is on her way to becoming an adult. She will not have you to make her decisions for her for very much longer and if you issue edicts, your effectiveness as a parent will diminish drastically as she gets older.

Parenting of teens only really happens with they give you permission to do so. If you recognize that and choose your battles carefully, you will have a daughter who will ask your advice when she really needs it, for the rest of your life. With my kids, when they were teens, I gave my best advice, debated with them as two adults with differing opinions will do and when it because clear that they were not being convinced, I would say, "you will do what you do, if you need me I will be in the garden," and walk away. My grown sons have told me that they hated when I said that because at that point they had to put their money where their mouths were. They learned to become responsible for the outcome of their actions.

The only place where I didn't follow this method was in matters of safety. With those, they knew that I was not going to back down and let them get hurt. Because most of the time I let them be the final decider of their actions, those few times when I said, "absolutely not!" Got their attention and they usually complied. If they didn't and ended up in trouble. I never rubbed it in. Teens have enough guilt without getting more from me. I would say, "did you learn something from this experience?"

I hope this all helped. You can always reply with follow up questions if you want or need to. If you go to my website,  There are a bunch of useful parenting tips on my blog. There is also a parents resource page with recommended books. My favorite one, which is required reading for all my clients, is "Parent As Coach." It is low price, a quick read, and it transforms even pretty good parent/son relationships. You absolutely need to buy and read this book. If you click on the title it will take you right to the page to order it.

Jason Wittman, MPS
Parenting blog:
~Author of the novel, "The Street
Shrink Chronicles"  

Parenting --Teens

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Jason Wittman, MPS


I can answer most question regarding the raising of teens. Since my personal experience has been raising 13 foster sons and an adopted son, I am stronger talking about parenting male teens and young adults. When it comes to teen problems and how to parent them, I am equally well versed with male and female issues. I am also very strong answering substance abuse and addiction issues, teen dating drama, questions about sex and questions relating to same sex issues and concerns.


I have a master's degree in Counseling Psychology from Cornell University. I am certified as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner and as a Hypnotherapist. I have been a Life & Mentor Coach for over twenty years. I have been running youth programs and working with teens and young adults for over 35 years and have personally raised 14 teens.

International Coach Federation International Association for Coaches

My Parenting Blog I recently published an autobiographical novel, "The Street Shrink Chronicles" Articles in The American Journal

Master's in Counseling Psychology from Cornell University B.S. in Bus. Mgt from Cornell University Certified N.L.P. Practitioner from Grinder-DeLozier Institute Certified Hypnotherapist from Gil Boyne Institute

Past/Present Clients
My clients are very private people who do not wish to be public about their personal business.

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