Parenting --Teens/daughter and thongs


Hi, single mum here to my 13 yeard old daughter Jess who has been wearing thong knickers now for a few months and nothing else.  I haven't made a fuss and hope it's just a phase, but when I do her washing the crotch of her thongs are always either very damp or stiff with her vaginal juices I guess.  The other night while watching TV she was on the sofa wafting her thighs apart and I noticed the crotch ridden between her vag lips, a couple of times I have seen her on her bed masturbating and tugging the crotch up against her vagina and kind of humping it, shall I talk with her??

Hello, Megan,

The time for talking was at least three years ago, during the discussion you had with her about menstruation. Now, there may be a bit of a fight, as she has probably been trying to provoke you for months.

Teaching her a few "house rules" such as dressing modestly, or at least the minimum tolerable amount of coverage while at home would be helpful. One never knows when a fire, earthquake, or police evacuation order could cause you to need to beat a hasty exit from home. Best to be prepared, right?

When it's just two of you, it's easy to let things slip. Does Jess pattern her behavior after you? If not, you can suggest a few things that may be helpful.

Clothing is not just to cover ourselves, but to protect our clothing and furniture. This is why they are called "underwear"- they are designed to go under something else - not to be worn alone or strutted as a fashion statement.

It's a simple thing to toss knickers into the laundry. Not so for a sofa. Have you smelled the area where she has been sitting? These fluids are living pools of bacteria, and like nothing better than to find a place to nest and grow. Over time, a sharp, biting, putrid smell will develop in your sofa, causing the entire room to stink. Often the only solution is to throw out the furniture.

There are many health concerns regarding this sort of panty, and there are other, safer alternatives, such as the smooth "boy short" style. I will include links below.

You don't seem to have any religious or moral objection to masturbating, but since thirteen is such a young age for any sort of sexual encounter, it's a good idea to make sure she gets plenty of exercise. Sitting around watching television, particularly if it's a romantic type of film will only lead to more of this unhealthy behavior. Is she interested in any sport? Volleyball, cheerleading, karate, kickboxing, swimming or any team sports will keep her occupied in safer ways. Knitting, sculpting or other skills using her hands can keep them busy doing other things as she watches television. What did you do when she was a child handling something she shouldn't touch? You offered her an alternative. It's the same now.

These feelings and desires are natural. They are what propel us toward marriage and propagating humanity, but the longer we can postpone them in our children, the better it will be for them.  

Seeking sexual gratification from ourselves can become habitual, and prevent us from venturing into social situations later.

Most doctors now suggest thong-style panties/knickers be used only occasionally if at all. 

Parenting --Teens

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