Parenting --Teens/Help!


I have 3 kids.  My second son is 19 and was arrested for pot with the intent to sell. He was given a gift in that everything will be dropped if he continues with college and do some community service.   He doesn't even seem to care!   I feel like I have to babysit him. I understand some parents just let the kids deal with things on their own but we felt we would be there and pay his lawyer etc to give him another chance.  I have no idea why.  His urine tests come out clean but he still acts like he's on something.  Maybe his brain cells are just gone.  He treats us like garbage and says we are keeping him from living his life.  I just can't believe but I bum he turned into.  He wants everything to be the way it was.  We could not have been better to him.  Out of my 3 kids I always adored him.  Yeah I know you're not suppose to have favorites but he was great.  I can honestly say no one treats me worse then him now.   Part of me wants to kick him out but another part of me wants to see him get through this issue first and get through school.   I have never been so depressed.   We have paid for shrinks and they just tell him were lousy parents.   He wants to blame us for everything.  Is this ever going to be better.  I can't take much more.  Thx for your thoughts.

Hi, Lisa- This will explain most of it. I'm sorry. He thinks he's a special snowflake, and he isn''s a crying shame, but that's the way life is now.

I know you want to continue to protect him, but if he's "treating us like garbage and says we are keeping him from living his life" hey-leave him to it. Let him live on his own and pay for his own lawyer. See how far he goes in "his life."

An acquaintance of mine had a son in the same boat. Got a big break with a judge who cared. He ended up blowing it all off, and is now a "three-strikes-you're-out" offender, in federal prison for the next sixteen years.

You can't teach something to a kid who thinks he knows everything.

If he manages to avoid prison, I'd spend that money taking him to an orphanage in a third world country to see if that shakes him into a little dose of reality. Perhaps it will turn him around, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Good luck, Lisa. Wish I had a magic answer, but all the unicorns died a long time ago.


Parenting --Teens

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




My own dysfunctional youth in an alcoholic family helped me decide to raise my children with love, acceptance, and honesty. It must have worked. We`ve got terrific kids. Those I've answered on this site usually feel I've been helpful in their unique situations. Our world is so much better when we lift instead of crushing. Every child is worth more than any bank can hold. If I can help at all, it will be in teaching both parent and child of their own personal value to humanity, and how to punch through the noise of the moment to find their greater purpose. Together, we can all make a better world.


Past/Present clients
Tired, poor, huddled masses; homeless, tempest-tossed.

©2016 All rights reserved.