Parenting --Teens/Disciplining daughter who was arrested
My daughter is 15 years old. Last night she was arrested along with her friend's sister who is 18 years old for possession of a controlled substance.
At around 7pm last night my daughter called me for a ride from her friend's house. I told her that I was running errends (I was in the grocery store getting groceries) so told her to call a cab and I would reimburse her for it when I got home.
I got home around 8pm and she wasn't home yet. I try calling her cell but it kept going to voicemail. I was going to wait until 9pm then I was just going to go stop by her friend's house to see if she was there. But instead at ten to nine I got a phone call from the police station. They told me she was charged with possession of cocaine.
I went and picked her up from the police station. She had a notice to appear in court for monday morning and restrictions.
My daughter claimed she didn't know the drugs were in the car. I believe especially after all the trouble her older sister had dealing with drugs. But my husband doesn't believe her and is livid. He wants to take away her phone, computer and ground her for a month.
I think it is a bit excessive especially if she really didn't know. What should I do about this situation. My daughter has a dance coming up next tuesday and she is really upset because she thinks she is being punished for something she didn't do.
That well may be a tragic story of a young girl being in the wrong place at the wrong time but had she done as she was instructed and taken a cab and gone home nothing would have happened. having said that the fact that she called you for a ride is good reason perhaps to believe what she is saying.
In the mind of a 15 year old girl I can envision a scenario that looked completely innocent as and older friend offered her a ride home instead of the expense of a cab. The unfortunate part is the older friends drugs and habits connected your daughter to there use and position as well.
My advise is to believe your daughter and to reason with your husband especially if this is the first incident of this kind. A few questions to ask in relation to her behavior are:
Is this a pattern of behavior?
is there evidence to indicate prior drug involvement?
Does she do well in school?
Does she associate with right kind of kids?
If the answers are positive then the likelihood of culpability is very slim.
I wish you the best in this unfortunate situation.